To think that a “doggy party” really is the final straw

[Thinblues]

DB & SIL bought a dachshund a couple of years ago as they can’t have children and since then have become totally obsessed with him. SIL speaks about him constantly as if he’s a human, refuses to come to family meals and outings if she can’t bring him along and generally treats him like her child, cradling and cooing over him non stop and bombarding the family with texts containing photographs and videos of him.

Today DH & I receive an invitation through in the post for us and the DC to attend a “doggy party” for his second birthday next month. There is going to be food, a doggy cake, presents, party hats, a bubble machine and even a photographer. I thought it had to be a joke but apparently SIL is taking it very seriously and the whole family have been invited. DH says I’m being mean and we must go and play along to keep her happy but AIBU in thinking this is totally abnormal behaviour which shouldn’t be encouraged?I’ve tried to minding my own business but just about fed up with the whole family pretending her behaviour is normal and accepting having this rammed down our throats. The party feels like the final straw. AIBU to not go to the party and point out that her behaviour is not normal?

whoWants2Know yeah great knowledge.

You see my head is taking me to a picture of a chihuahua or Coton de Tuliere or something ... I’m just not seeing a Rottweiler or Japanese Akita or whatever sitting on a throne, looking at a cake, surrounded by a group of people singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
People who don’t have babies tend not to use big, potentially dangerous dogs to refer their love onto.

It was good to have clarified what you meant by dangerous though.

So you think that the dog is going to end up attacking all of the guests? I’ll watch out for that item in the news.

Actually ginger as I was typing my last post (on phone) I thought “didn’t she say somewhere that it was a Daschund?”

So I should have checked

"My SIL and BIL have this small human and make so much fuss about it. They bring it to every gathering we have, and they constantly take photos of it and send them to us even though quite frankly I find their offspring really boring. Now they are planning to celebrate its birthday and we have been invited! I think she's mad! Why on earth would we want to go to that?"
Live and let live, OP.

YANBU to decide not to go to the party OP but I wouldn't talk about it to your DB or SIL.
Whatever is prompting her behaviour with the dog I'd be concerned about whether or not she's training it, as in, dog training it. Children need training, parents spend decades doing just that with their off-spring, and dogs need training but of a very different type & for different reasons. If a 2 year old child bit another 2 year old child at a party or anywhere else it might well cause ructions within the family/friendships but if a dog bites a child/anyone it'll probably get put down. If their dog isn't being properly trained as a dog then they leave themselves open to a lot more heartache.
They may well see their dog as a child but there's nothing reasonable in them insisting everyone else does too. Dachshunds are a breed to have a healthy wariness of if they've e.g. been allowed to become their pack leader. pets.thenest.com/aggression-dachshunds-12579.html

I'm another one who has just had to break away from reading this thread to buy some bacon bubbles!

Off the back of this thread, last night I bought bacon bubbles (the manufacturer is surely going to want to know where the upsurge in purchases has came from) and had a lovely half hour in Pets At Home browsing the toys and treats and came out with a tonne for my two nephews and niece (who happen to be dogs but I love them to pieces). So they’re going to get a tonne of treats and toys in the morning!

I saw a couple in there with a four month old chihuahua wrapped up in one of thems coat protecting it from the rain outside, it reminded me of what ours were like when they were small. OP, visit Pets At Home before the party, they have a doggy birthday cake and Pawsecco and even doggy ice cream. Or don’t if you’re going to be miserable the whole time

@tinselvestsparklepants
Oh is it one of those hairless screaming ones? Cats and dogs are much more cuddly and fun, Yanbu .

Madambee yes, horrible aren't they? But their owners are obsessed. Far prefer my cat, who has much better manners.

My dogs have their own page on social media. They update regularly (Christ knows how they manage a keyboard with paws), and a lot of people respond to my their posts. It's all a bit of fun, extremely tongue in cheek, and it makes us smile to see perfectly normal, sane people talking online to dogs.

I'm glad most people are like that.

@tinselvestsparklepants, my cats too .

Does anyone remember the Dara Ó briain show about sitting next to a baby on the plane versus sitting next to 'baby snappy' the crocodile baby .

So people have to go to it?

No - nobody has to go to any party - but if they do choose to go they behave courteously and don't tell the party-goers that they are "unhealthily obsessed" with the dog.

My dog got invited to a doggy party once. He got an invitation and everything...🤣. Sadly we couldn't make it.

"My SIL and BIL have this small human and make so much fuss about it. They bring it to every gathering we have, and they constantly take photos of it and send them to us even though quite frankly I find their offspring really boring. Now they are planning to celebrate its birthday and we have been invited! I think she's mad! Why on earth would we want to go to that?"

This is very sad Tinsel - It sounds like they are using this small human as a puppy substitute. May I ask? Are they unable to have a dog?

I agree, Schadenfreude.

Oh dear. You sound so heartless Op. Can't you just go to support your SIL? You don't have one up on her you know just cos you have kids.

I’m with you op. Weird.

It is perfectly normal to want to celebrate your dog's birthday.

Don't be such a cow.

I’d much rather go to a doggy party than a boring baby’s first birthday. Waaaay more fun.

OP you come across as a nasty, sour little woman. I love the sound of your SIL though, she sounds lovely.

Sadly this post isn’t nearly as interesting as the title suggested

I love my cat, but wouldn’t celebrate her birthday. However my niece and nephew are planning a party this year😻 why not.

She appears in all their family pictures and is even on their family tree.

Here is nothing wrong with loving your pet,

@SchadenfreudePersonified

snorts

tinselvestsparklepants and SchadenfreudePersonified

Brilliant double act there!!

So glad I peered into last few pages of thread, just for that gem!

Go, or don't go- up to you. Just don't be mean and tell her her behavior is not normal or anything else. if you don't go, just say you are busy. Why cause an argument? This all sounds really unkind and none of your business whether it is a "normal" way to come to terms with infertility or not.

What a horrid, sneering thread posted under the guise of faux sympathy and concern.

It's blatantly obvious there is no real compassion directed to SIL, only judgement and dare I say, possibly jealousy too as SIL and DB probably have more money and time than OP and her fertile self.

Also, why is the DB not being questioned in all this? Why all the bitterness towards another woman who is hurting? Again, it's poorly-disguised disdain and envy.

I'd suggest you look at yourself and your lack of empathy and compassion before you work yourself into knots pretending to care about a woman who's done nothing worse than celebrating a much-loved family member.