AIBU to be angry that it's now ok to sexually assault overweight women?

[WithTwoGiantBoys]

Today Paul Gasgoine was cleared of sexual assault after he admitted forcefully and sloppily kissing a complete stranger on the lips. He somehow successfully argued that as the woman was a "fat lass" there was no sexual desire in his action, he was just cheering her up after some other prat had commented on her weight. I an FURIOUS that this decision erodes women's bodily autonomy, nobody should have to put up with a drunk man's attempted pity snog just because she is overweight.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50068077

Really? A random bloke on the train?

It's true, things like that really do happen to us men. I was slightly intimidated by a hen party in Glasgow roughly 35 years ago and forced to kiss the bride-to-be. About 20 years ago a female colleague groped my arse without so much as a by your leave on a works night out. Now I know 2 incidents in almost 4 decades might not compare to the daily pestering and intimidation that women endure, and being honest I can't claim that I ever felt remotely threatened or traumatised by my experiences, but let's not forget that men are equally victims of this sort of thing. Obviously we need to completely redefine the meaning of the word "equally" (to something akin to not remotely in the same ballpark perhaps) but that's just a minor detail.

Women and men should be equal but that does not mean we are the same. I assume that when it comes to scenarios such as the case in question it's not just about the unwanted physical contact but about the intimidation, the fear of what might happen next, the powerlessness and vulnerability the woman experiences. It is not the same for men in similar situations, not remotely close.

”but let's not forget that men are equally victims of this sort of thing”

What about the poor men!

I am in no way excusing the males behaviour as there is no excuse for sexual assault whatsoever. I commented it was interesting you had mentioned because I have witnessed it on more than one occasion. Not on a train, usually in a pub or club but one occasion was in a supermarket carpark where a group of hens were coming out of the store and a couple of men walked past them one of the women shouted all right sexy and grabbed his crotch. He looked gobsmacked then kind of laughed, shrugged his shoulders and carried on his way.

Why can we never ever have a discussion just about females being sexually assaulted, raped, harassed, being physically abused

We are overwhelmingly the victims of this and this yet as soon as we speak we are shut down

A true believer in equality would listen to what we have to say and be empathetic as they would accept that this issue needs to be discussed and addressed from a females perspective

But no we have to be told be a man don’t we of what really happens in the world (and sadly some women who have been conditioned to think this way to)

“ but let's not forget that men are equally victims of this sort of thing”

Sorry?

Nobody is being shut down. You commented that it it happens to men as well and I remarked that I had seen it happen to men in response to the comment you made. That's the way conversation and debates work. It is on no way diminishing what this poor lady has gone through.

Yes Bertrand that is right

A man has told you

Don’t forget your place

Sweeney As I said I used the term people to please those like yourself

And you still have to come back with supporting that argument

It’s diverts the debate it’s always done

He`s a complete twat and should have been prosecuted.
Whats that telling all other twats out there.
A fkng free for all.
Hate the wanker.

Yes, it happens to men occasionally. Nothing is stopping them from reporting it to the police.

Always the same, 'but what about the meeeeeennnnnnnnnzzzzzzzz' like the women are supposed to fight their battles for them as well.

What about the poor men!

Sorry?

Yes Bertrand that is right
A man has told you
Don’t forget your place

Clearly some of you don't have the wits to spot blatant irony. Did you actually read my whole post before rushing to respond?

Obviously we need to completely redefine the meaning of the word "equally" (to something akin to not remotely in the same ballpark perhaps) but that's just a minor detail.

Ha ha ha. The first part of this sentence is correct - we would need to completely redefine the meaning of equality to mean something totally unequal. That is not a minor detail. That is a major overhaul of language - akin to trying to suggest that white is, in fact, especially when it's a slightly creamier shade, black.

It's not funny at all actually. Because this is what is happening to women in Britain.

If irony was intended, it shows how dangerous matters have become - because it can't be differentiated from reality.

TooTrueToBeGood

Oh no we obviously don’t have the intelligence or wits to spot blatant irony we are so lucky a man is here to point it out

Silly little women head full of bubbles

Ffs you really don’t get it do you

Go away and have a think

"Men are equally victims to this sort of thing"

Equally how?

In the same numbers? Nope.
Same feelings? You claim you weren't traumatised or felt threatened.
Same outcome? Did it escalate, were you called names ,etc when you rejected those unwanted advances?
Same age? For women it starts when they're still in uniform and barely in their teens. For some even earlier.

How exactly does it equally happen to men?

'. If this had been some random bloke in a pub I doubt this woman would of called the police and I very much doubt it would have got to court'

Like I didn't when a man stroked between my legs and up my bum as I went through a crowd.

The fact that women don't report sexual assaults in pubs so they shouldn't on trains is ridiculous.

The idea that a sexual assault in a pub is less noteworthy as hey booze, people on pull etc is shit.

And do men routinely think about the precautions they need to take in their day to day lives to protect themselves from varying levels of sexual assault/harassment?

'Iv been through far worse than a kiss so I know where I am coming from.'

So have i ffs

I was in pub once and man came up shoved his fingers in the hinges of my jaw to force my mouth open (like you have to do to give a cat a tablet) and snogged me. I was totally taken aback and didn't move. It really hurt, my face was bruised.

Maybe there was mistletoe though eh

Some right bastards on this thread who will be pleased to hear that Obviuosly I didn't report it.

What the men who post their experiences of sexual banter /touching from women dont get is the power imbalance and fear of assault .I'm a man and have been groped flashed and catcalled by drunk women and found it funny and harmless.. Having been groped and assaulted by a gang of pissed gay men much bigger than me ( I'm not gay ) i got a fleeting sense of how threatening unwanted sexual interest and the power of male presence can be . Blokes ...this is a phrase I don't normally like or use...check your privilege.

Women can tell men why we don't bother to report sexual assault. Because men think they have the right to do it and we should shut up and put up, and they will use every trick in the book to try and force us to. But you know what? Patience is running out.

The dynamic is generally v different

Men tend to be bigger, stronger, more aggressive, more sexually violent than women.

The real comparison is being sexually assaulted by a man who is similar in size or much bigger, and irrespective is likely to be much stronger than you. Men never make that one though for some reason

Xpost with gin

...don't forget, and may well have the intention of forcing himself on you in worse ways, and may even kill for random reasons Fraggling. A group of hen-night women, annoying as they are and as much as I wish they would stop, is not really in the same territory. "Men worry that women will laugh at them: women worry that men will kill them".

I'm not sure anyone was saying that it's ok to assault overweight women. I think it was a case of who he was that meant he got away with it. Horrid thing to say though. The woman who was assaulted has already suffered enough without being treated like that. I had the same thing happen to me when I was out once and it was really unpleasant. In hindsight I wish I punched the guy, but I was too shocked at the time.

I can't claim that I ever felt remotely threatened or traumatised by my experiences, but let's not forget that men are equally victims of this sort of thing

If you didn't feel threatened or traumatised, then you aren't equally victimised TooTrue

And let's not forget, that embarrassing as something like this can be for a bloke, he isn't likely to be physically dominated by a much stronger individual which in itself is really horrible.

Even weak men are, on average, stronger than strong women. If necessary a man could physically repel a woman who attempts to grope him - many, if not most, women don't have that option.