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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be angry that it's now ok to sexually assault overweight women?

214 replies

WithTwoGiantBoys · 18/10/2019 07:09

Today Paul Gasgoine was cleared of sexual assault after he admitted forcefully and sloppily kissing a complete stranger on the lips. He somehow successfully argued that as the woman was a "fat lass" there was no sexual desire in his action, he was just cheering her up after some other prat had commented on her weight. I an FURIOUS that this decision erodes women's bodily autonomy, nobody should have to put up with a drunk man's attempted pity snog just because she is overweight.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50068077

OP posts:
Motoko · 18/10/2019 20:15

when a female barrister does it, it's regarded as "less bullying".

And the jurors are likely to think, "If he was guilty, a woman wouldn't want to represent him".

brighteyeowl17 · 18/10/2019 20:19

I didn’t get the rationale in this at all. She didn’t want it. Assault.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 18/10/2019 23:16

Is a barrister allowed to refuse to defend someone? Everybody no matter what crime they are accused of is entitled to legal representation.

TriciaH87 · 19/10/2019 00:08

I never said it was OK I said I don't think it should be something that goes to court. Unless they have firmly held you in a manor in which you have no way to leave surely pushing them off and saying no is a more normal way to handle it. If this had been some random bloke in a pub I doubt this woman would of called the police and I very much doubt it would have got to court. Waste of police time when a quiet word was all that's needed. More serious knife crimes going unsolved surely the police have better things to investigate than a washed up drunk has been kissing someone.

WhiskeyLullaby · 19/10/2019 00:40

@TriciaH87 unless you have been a victim of sexual assault in any form I don't think you can comment about what you would do.

And even if you did,each woman is different,each situation is different.

You don't get to decide who is a "real" victim or the way they should deal with what happened to them.

ScreamingValenta · 19/10/2019 00:42

Is a barrister allowed to refuse to defend someone?

Yes, barristers can refuse cases. But if you choose to become a barrister, this might not be something you'd want to do - everyone is entitled to defend themselves in trial - a barrister would have to accept that principle to get along in the profession.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/10/2019 00:43

YANBU

I have been raging about this all day

So a man now can decide that I need cheering up and he is the one to cheer me up and can kiss me even through I do not want him to

Can he squeeze my bum too, have a feel of my breast’s, push his dick against me

Ffs when can we as females decide who can and can not touch us

Obviously not in 2019

TwiddleMuff · 19/10/2019 00:52

Yuck, what a creep! Poor woman.

Qu1tter · 19/10/2019 00:59

Lovely old Gazza could deck the Queen and piss on her and he'd still be let off with a clip round the ear and a cheeky wink.

ScreamingValenta · 19/10/2019 01:28

It's amazing what sort of behaviour people will excuse on the grounds of football.

Jane1727 · 19/10/2019 07:06

He was properly drunk and yes was acting inappropriately but would she have gone to the police if it wasn't Gazza?
If a peck I struggle to consider it sexual assault. Inappropriate and idiotic behaviour but could it just have been him being a buffoon rather than any sexual intent?

gingersausage · 19/10/2019 07:24

@ScreamingValenta sadly it’s amazing what sort of behaviour people will excuse on the grounds of male...drunk...rich...white...

When the fuck do we just get to be left alone? We don’t want to be touched, kissed, groped, pawed, slobbered on. We don’t want to go out with the expectation of having to fight off unwanted advances. Why the fuck should we? Why can’t these men just keep their hands to themselves? Why are we grumpy bitches with “no sense of humour” if we object to it? You can bet your life if another man tried the same behaviour on them they would fucking freak. Maybe they should ask themselves why.

birdsdestiny · 19/10/2019 07:34

I would never report a sexual assault ever. Look at some of the comments on this thread. This is where we are in 2019.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/10/2019 07:55

Yes he possibly had been drinking

That doesn’t excuse you from your actions

And neither does being drunk mean others or not hurt and left feeling humiliated

Let’s change to he was probably drunk to he had probably taken drugs that can alter how you behave but I doubt would be excused by so many

TriciaH87 · 19/10/2019 07:56

Iv been through far worse than a kiss so I know where I am coming from. Picture it another way. Its December your in a pub stood there for waiting for a table to clear so you can take it. One frees up you start heading over. Some bloke plants one on you that your not happy about(turns out you walked under the mistletoe) and he tells you after he has absolutely no interest in you after. Does this mean your going to do him for sexual assault because if so I think people should know they could be prosecuted before hand.

Oblomov19 · 19/10/2019 07:59

As a footballer. Fantastic. As a person? Not so much!

This is disgraceful.

BertrandRussell · 19/10/2019 08:00

Does this mean your going to do him for sexual assault because if so I think people should know they could be prosecuted before hand.“

Well, if a man reaches adulthood without knowing that if he assaults someone he could be prosecuted for assault...

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/10/2019 08:12

Mmm people do know they can be prosecuted

Then do know they shouldn’t just kiss/grope/touch/rub up against another person without consent

But they don’t care about that as they feel entitled to do so (have purposely written people to please the women do it to argument)

I have been through far worse as Im sure sadly many of us women on here have because male sexual assault is so often excused and when an excuse can’t be made the women’s action are so often blamed - what she was wearing, how much she had drunk and so on

I have also been in situations (crowded tube for one) where I have been sexually assaulted it wasn’t by accident other men have been stood squashed up to me and angled themselves so they are not rubbing up against me (as I have angled myself so I am not pushing my boobs against them) it can be done and apart from by those who use this situation to sexually assault women then make an excuse I couldn’t help it I didn’t do it it’s just because the train was so crowded

StealthPolarBear · 19/10/2019 08:18

He is a walking disaster but he gets away with it because he kicked a ball a few decades ago.

PhilSwagielka · 19/10/2019 09:06

Tricia, when I was sexually assaulted, I said no. It didn't stop him.

WhiskeyLullaby · 19/10/2019 09:09

*Mmm people do know they can be prosecuted

Then do know they shouldn’t just kiss/grope/touch/rub up against another person without consent*

They also know that statistically they'll more than likely get away with it.

The woman won't report it because banter/mistletoe/misunderstanding/whatever bullshit.
If she reports there will more than likely not be enough evidence or it's not in the public interest to go to court.
If it goes to court she will be bullied,abused,disbelieved,called names etc by the community,media and eventually the jury.

Society has placed many safeguards to ensure men can get away with it, and they know it.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/10/2019 09:40

WhiskeyLullaby I absolutely agree with you

If a man can’t excuse his actions the blame is soon put on him the women (or girl) that encouraged him

It’s depressing that still in 2019 such excuses are still accepted

sweeneytoddsrazor · 19/10/2019 10:35

@Enthusiasm interesting that you have remarked that women do it to because I have to say I have witnessed women grab a blokes crotch for fun on numerous occasions. But it is invariably laughed off by the male. I don't know if they feel they have been assaulted and the laughing is a way of masking those feelings but it certainly doesn't tend to get reported.

BertrandRussell · 19/10/2019 11:12

“ I have to say I have witnessed women grab a blokes crotch for fun on numerous occasions”

Really? A random bloke on the train?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 19/10/2019 11:37

This was my comment

But they don’t care about that as they feel entitled to do so (have purposely written people to please the women do it to argument)

Because like you have done the argument will be shut down with women do it too

It was to please those like yourself not to hold up the argument women do it to because it just doesn’t happen so frequently because society accepts that men are the dominant sex and a bit of sexual harassment isn’t harmful - it really comes down to the deeply ingrained belief throughout history that is support by religion, laws, and attitudes that men have to have sex (or sexual contact) from that idea men have always been excused for their actions