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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry that it's now ok to sexually assault overweight women?

214 replies

WithTwoGiantBoys · 18/10/2019 07:09

Today Paul Gasgoine was cleared of sexual assault after he admitted forcefully and sloppily kissing a complete stranger on the lips. He somehow successfully argued that as the woman was a "fat lass" there was no sexual desire in his action, he was just cheering her up after some other prat had commented on her weight. I an FURIOUS that this decision erodes women's bodily autonomy, nobody should have to put up with a drunk man's attempted pity snog just because she is overweight.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50068077

OP posts:
Iamagree · 18/10/2019 07:11

Yanbu.
Imagine if he'd done that to another man

Billballbaggins · 18/10/2019 07:12

Imagine if he'd done that to another man

Yep

GrimalkinsCrone · 18/10/2019 07:12

No, YANBU.
He should have been convicted of assault, and I don’t understand why he wasn’t. He’s always been a disgusting man child, in addition to his very real mental health issues.

GingersAreLush · 18/10/2019 07:13

YANBU I’m fuming about this too. He has definitely assaulted her, sexually or otherwise. His defence was “ahh well she’s fat so I didn’t fancy her” should have been blown out of the water- sexual assault and rape is about power not sexual desire in the conventional way.

As an aside, on what planet must he be on to actually think this woman would be cheered up by a kiss from him after she’d been verbally abused?! Fuck off with yourself Gazza Hmm

OneTerrificMouse · 18/10/2019 07:13

It's been ok to sexually assault, rape and murder women for ages.

Just get a good excuse and bingo, men can do what the fuck they want to us. We don't fucking matter.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 18/10/2019 07:14

Fuck me. Another thread to make me despair.

Magpiefeather · 18/10/2019 07:16

Fucking hell. Rage is bubbling up inside me. Such an injustice.

Kalim8 · 18/10/2019 07:17

YANBU

NewNameGuy · 18/10/2019 07:21

Taking the story, he sat next to and gave a small kiss to a woman who had been verbally assaulted, presumably thinking his famousness might cheer her up?

Like if George Clooney did it.

I think the crux is did he give her a "peck" as in that article or a "forcible sloppy kiss".

Interesting that it also mentions the "lesser charge" of assault?

Queenoftheashes · 18/10/2019 07:21

Yeah this pissed me off as well. I thought we were in the age of consent and now recognised that the onus is on the kisser to get consent before they start slobbering.
Probably the judge likes Gazza and remembers him crying in the 90s and being a hero, shortly before assaulting his wife eg head butting her for laughing at another man’s jokes.

BoneyBackJefferson · 18/10/2019 07:26

Its a shite system.

It seems (and always has done) that being famous gives (some of) them an excuse to assault people due to the excuse that they are famous and must have wanted it.

ScreamingValenta · 18/10/2019 07:27

YANBU

It's as if, by being overweight and unattractive (in Gascoigne's eyes) she has forfeited her basic human rights.

Where does this end?

Will other men read this and be inspired? "No, she didn't consent to sex with me but I thought it might cheer her up?"

Original poster
WithTwoGiantBoys · 18/10/2019 07:28

@NewNameGuy no. It doesn't depend on what kind of kiss he gave her. At all.

It matters that he kissed her against her will. Or at least it should matter.

Clearly you can do what you like to fat women and they should be grateful.

OP posts:
Beveren · 18/10/2019 07:28

The decision doesn't set any sort of legal precedent - it's basically just a jury decision that the charge was not proved beyond reasonable doubt. There's nothing about it that amounts to a declaration that sexual assault on anyone is OK.

Greysparkles · 18/10/2019 07:34

I disagree that it doesn't matter what kind of kiss it was.

You will never convince me a small peck on the cheek is sexual assault.

Iflyaway · 18/10/2019 07:36

Adds insult to injury for that poor woman.

I'm furious he got away with it. The creep.

ScreamingValenta · 18/10/2019 07:37

it's basically just a jury decision that the charge was not proved beyond reasonable doubt.

The problem is that the law is at fault because it's set out to prove the wrong thing.

  • It is not in dispute that he kissed her
  • It doesn't seem to have been in dispute that she didn't ask for or initiate the kiss

They've based the decision on Gascoigne saying that his motives weren't sexual. That, to me, is irrelevant with an action as deliberate as a kiss.

It's as if they're saying (e.g.) if he bumped into her accidentally and knocked her over, that wouldn't be assault - which, of course, it wouldn't - but a kiss is different because, whatever his underlying motives, there's no way the kiss wasn't intentional.

The jury has accepted his word that it wasn't sexual but totally ignored the woman's assurance that it was unwanted.

feelingverylazytoday · 18/10/2019 07:38

I'm surprised it actually got to court. It just seems like drunken bad behaviour to me, more like being drunk and disorderly. Which he should have apologised for.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 18/10/2019 07:39

I am also angry...it seems if you are an alcoholic has been you are ok to do as you wish...gazza..the gift that keeps on giving...what a pillock.

Howlovely · 18/10/2019 07:39

If he was such a hero wanting to 'cheer her up' why didn't he say something to those pricks who called her rude names? I cannot think of a more gross thing than to have some creepy old drunk slurring next to me that I was beautiful after being publically humiliated and insulted on a train and them have him slobber all over me against my will. And to then be made to feel that I ought to have felt grateful and cheered up because I'm a fat lass? I don't think so.
Gazza really is like a cat with nine lives. But a cunt.

DriftingLeaves · 18/10/2019 07:39

Very, very angry.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 18/10/2019 07:42

GrimalkinsCrone he was convicted of assault but the media are leading with him being cleared of sexual assault.

I thought most rapes where power motivated not sexually motivated. Does this mean rapist should now be convicted of assault or GBH rather than rape?

I’m horrified by this decision.

birdsdestiny · 18/10/2019 07:43

And this is women's lives. That apparently a slobbering man can forcibly kiss us and we should be happy with an apology.

MarieG10 · 18/10/2019 07:43

Just the vagaries of the jury system. I think the trial was at Newcastle court and Gascogne is still a semi hero there so it doesn't surprise me at all.

I think it also doesn't surprise people that have sat as jurors

VirtualHamster · 18/10/2019 07:47

Does the law even mention intent? I'm struggling to understand how they were allowed to come to this decision when I thought the offence related to sexual contact (admitted) and lack of consent (not in doubt).