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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unhappy Traveller

67 replies

TequilaMockingburd · 17/10/2019 22:55

AIBU? DH planned trip, nice break some 700 miles from home. We have a 8 month old baby and a 6 year old DS. So travelling in our motorhome but obviously not free to roam around- restricted to car seats and seatbelts.

Way down, limited stops but high spirits mostly and so grinned and bearing that. On the way back.... same.... he has powered on for 3 hours’ at a time and we are now parked up in an industrial estate - sort of wild camping.

Babies asleep , DH asleep and so all okay but I am seething at the lack of planning, the too fast driving ( a whole other issue ) and the shit overnight location.

Am I being unreasonable? Have I lost my sense of adventure or is he an idiot?

OP posts:
MsJaneAusten · 17/10/2019 23:01

I don’t understand. Did you discuss where to stop etc or did DH plan the trip?

TokyoSushi · 17/10/2019 23:02

You're spending the night in a motor home on an industrial estate with a baby and a 6 year old! 😳

I would be an unhappy traveller too!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 17/10/2019 23:05

Better a motor home than a tent!
Motor home implies a large vehicle with a toilet, kitchen/cooking space etc and actual beds. If that's what you mean, what's the problem?

Twirlypoos · 17/10/2019 23:09

Is it legal just to park and camp? Sound very ill thought out- i wouldn’t be happy either. There must be a camp site close by- it’s autumn and not even half term in most places, They’re not going to be full . why didn’t he stop at one?

Funghi · 17/10/2019 23:10

Why an industrial estate?

Why are you grinning and bearing it?

Why didn’t you get on your map/map app and find somewhere more scenic to set up for the night?

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 17/10/2019 23:11

Well.... to be honest I didn’t get involved in the rote ( I know, I wish I had now) one assumed that we would get to our destination via nice little campsites and stops. The warning bells only started on the way down when we kept driving. I said’ errr when we stopping...’ several times but he was able to blame a road closure as the issue and the main reason for us pressing on.

On the way back I looked up good campsites en route and have charts three through.... but have now been ignored with the suggestions and we are here! We had one stop after 3 hours and have parked up for the night.... continuing tomorrow .

It’s a big motorhome so DS in his bunk and baby in his cot, we have toilet and shower etc but it’s still shit!

OP posts:
Evilmorty · 17/10/2019 23:12

This is precisely why I plan my stops, and then plan alternative stops in case the first ones aren’t available. Especially over 700 miles! He should have a map with key stopping points highlighted

TinyGhostWriter · 17/10/2019 23:16

You are all together and have an opportunity to bed down for the night. Worse things can happen.

Funghi · 17/10/2019 23:16

What’s the point?

Is there a destination in mind? Nice places to stop during the day?

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 17/10/2019 23:18

Yes.... we have facilities but it’s a fecking industrial estate. We can’t hook up to any electricity and so are running off the leisure battery. If I wanted tea ( which I do now) I’d need to heat water from the gas stove in a pan, the kettle needs a hook up to work ( as an example) It’ all so badly planned. To park up on a nice site- £30! He refused to pay. And so we drove around for 40 mins to find this free place!

OP posts:
Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 17/10/2019 23:22

We’ve been to our main destination and are homeward bound. Maybe it’s not that bad..... it just all felt a bit grim with two babies ....

My outlook is a Screwfix. I’ll man up and stop moaning! I should have been more involved from the get go.

OP posts:
HUZZAH212 · 17/10/2019 23:54

It's not great really! Especially if he's done it due to being a tightwad. On the plus side I'd use the opportunity for future shaming if he's nitpicking over the price of things. Hope your holiday in general has been good OP

chocatoo · 17/10/2019 23:59

You are so lucky to have a motor home though. I would love one! Draw the curtains and just enjoy all being together in your cosy little home.

Wynston · 18/10/2019 00:15

Oh i love it.....its only a night and you will look back and chuckle about it im sure.
I have so many fond memories travelling around........i need to do these things with my kids!!

Oodlesandpoodles · 18/10/2019 00:18

He doesn’t sound prepared, look up activities and state that if he doesn’t start taking your advice you’ll be heading home and he can have the trip

Elbowedout · 18/10/2019 00:21

It isn't the end of the world but I would be pretty fed up as well. There is a world of difference between settling down in a nice campsite hooked up to the utilities, or even stopping somewhere unofficial but scenic, and parking on an industrial estate. I've got very happy childhood memories of wild camping with my family but that was in real wild places. Waking up to see deer outside the window in a remote Scottish glen is exciting and beautiful. Being woken by Screwfix lorries setting off on their early morning deliveries is neither! I would be worried about potentially being moved on in the middle of the night, and I'd also be a bit worried about security to be honest as a lot of industrial estates aren't in the nicest parts of town. I don't think I would be able to relax under those circumstances.
Chances are all will be perfectly fine of course but I would be very annoyed with my DH if he did that to save £30. Tomorrow you could tell him that if he wants to save money he should drive more slowly to improve fuel consumption instead!

LittleDancers · 18/10/2019 00:25

Off topic but got to say I'm curious why your 6yo isn't in school?

crustycrab · 18/10/2019 00:31

Cause it's half term?

I'd have paid the £30 myself. He refused and is happy with the screw fix situation

Jeezypeepers · 18/10/2019 00:31

It’s October holidays in Scotland

TinklyLittleLaugh · 18/10/2019 01:01

It’s not ideal if he is driving a long time without a break. Dangerous for him to be tired plus your kids need to move around. I think if you are driving a long way you have to make the journey part of the holiday and build in some stops and sleepovers in nice places.

Personally I wouldn’t stop on a trading estate (and people have been gassed and robbed when stopping at the side of the road in France).

ginrummy1 · 18/10/2019 01:21

It's school holidays in Scotland, no children are at school

AcrossthePond55 · 18/10/2019 01:25

Meh. We often spend 6 weeks on the road and travel in excess of 7000 miles (in the US). We routinely spend the night at truck stops or in parking lots. As long as the industrial area appeared relatively safe, I wouldn't have a problem.

But planning does help. Get a 'regular' kettle for boiling water, you should always carry one anyway. And look into a generator. We have one for camping in our Natl Parks (most don't have hookups). You don't need hookups when you have a generator.

Audreyhelp · 18/10/2019 01:27

Well you are there now and irs only a night . Does make me smile that people spend thousands on a camper then won’t pay the 30 pounds sight fees .
There is a website devoted to wild camping places .

Wingedharpy · 18/10/2019 01:33

Next time (if there is a next time) tell him to plan the journey and not just the destination.

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 18/10/2019 01:49

@elbowedout and @tinkylittlelaugh...yes, all of those things. It’s not pretty, it doesn’t really feel
Particularly safe, and it’s ill thought out.

It’s pissing down and I’m a bit on edge..... and now can’t sleep with the thought of being ‘robbed or gassed’ 😭

I’m mostly annoyed at myself.

Yes... it’s holiday time in Scotland to the person who asked about school!

OP posts:
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