Unhappy Traveller

[TequilaMockingburd]

AIBU? DH planned trip, nice break some 700 miles from home. We have a 8 month old baby and a 6 year old DS. So travelling in our motorhome but obviously not free to roam around- restricted to car seats and seatbelts.

Way down, limited stops but high spirits mostly and so grinned and bearing that. On the way back.... same.... he has powered on for 3 hours’ at a time and we are now parked up in an industrial estate - sort of wild camping.

Babies asleep , DH asleep and so all okay but I am seething at the lack of planning, the too fast driving ( a whole other issue ) and the shit overnight location.

Am I being unreasonable? Have I lost my sense of adventure or is he an idiot?

Well, we survived the night, I’m happy to report. Things always seem a bit better in the morning. I’m erring on the side of ‘bright and sunny’ this morning and will be picking a more opportune moment to discuss future travel plans!

Thankfully no Social Services intervention during the night!

Thanks for all your input. Men are from Mars!

Enjoy the rest of the trip . Some of the comments here are so funny is if everyone does something every day every minute to please the child.

We don’t really need mother and baby spaces as no child should be in a supermarket as it won’t benefit them .

The social services comment hit me as well so funny . There is a website just for wild camping so lots of people do this .

@Audreyhelp

We spent a lot of money on a campervan but do not stay in campsites, nothing to do how much it costs per night, more to do with the fact they pack you in like sardines and I might as well be in my garden. Noise, slamming doors, barking dogs and children screaming. Our boys are grown up and this is our time.

No I would not park up on an industrial estate, we plan and already know of spots which are miles from anybody, we only stay one night, we leave nothing behind and often clean up others rubbish. We also spend money in the local communities by shopping in the local stores rather than supermarkets, fill up at petrol stations and sample local cafes/restaurants. We were shocked when we actually calculated how much we spend locally in the areas we stay. Much more than the cost of a campsite.

Hopefully we do not annoy anybody, we have solar panels and our own facilities.

Park4Night is a good app to find a place to stay, has reviews and photos etc

OP hope you're all home safely now.

Your partner is an arse.

That aside, glad it all went OKish! You’re probably all over the local Facebook page and people having an attack of the vapours that gypsies have set up in town, at least if our local fb page is anything to go by!

To park up on a nice site- £30! He refused to pay. And so we drove around for 40 mins to find this free place!

Men are from Mars

So it's not about bad planning but about saving money Okaaaayyyy

The whole 'men from mars' is just an excuse. Honestly, could you do a bit more joint planning up front. Make sure that wants and needs are included in the planning.

How do you share money? Is he tight in other areas?

Yip, a total tightwad. There are some beautiful camp sites which would have enhanced the trip, but no... effing screwfix instead. I wouldn’t have felt safe parking up in an industrial area either.

I am glad you survived the experience but your DH does sound like a proper knob.

Does he have form for ignoring you like that? I would be fucking livid.

Sounds like my life, what is the problem? Is it lack of campsite, because I wouldn't use one tbh.
Are you warm? Would you prefer to share the driving?

There are some beautiful camp sites which would have enhanced the trip, but no... effing screwfix instead.

They were literally on the way home from their trip.

I don't see the problem personally, if you'd said the entire trip was you all driving around staying in industrial estates or at truck stops on the side of a motorway and A roads you would have had a point, but literally just breaking up a 700 mile journey home with somewhere to rest, in a self described big motorhome with a shower and toilet doesn't sound like the end of the world to me. The sky isn't going to fall because you have to use your gas and pa to make a cup of tea instead of an electric kettle. I'd have probably done the same.

Why didn't you take over the driving?

Looking up the crime stats of where you're parked for a solitary night is a bit much as well.

pan*

Joint route planning next time.
You do 50% of the driving.
If he complains you're too slow or that your lane discipline isn't parade-ground precise then offer to stop and let him walk- every time.
If he's concerned that his manly dick will drop off if he sits in the passenger seat then consider which bits of driving to suggest he does. I have worked out that mine tends to want to be behind the wheel when we arrive at and leave friends' houses, and to a lesser extent other destinations with lots of people around. Being usurped from the manly throne by mere woman must be shameful or something.
If he is driving, make sure he drinks plenty of coffee beforehand as it's a diuretic. Mercifully mine stops "to let the dog have a run". The dog has a bladder of steel and has to be woken up for the run. I suspect her imaginary need for a run would not be so assiduously attended to if DH didn't have a surprisingly low bladder capacity (thank fuck).

There are some beautiful sites, but unfortunately you can't be sure whos using them.
I'm Romany and won't touch them, one time two gypsy families were at war over something silly, it was hell.
Give me the edge of a B road/ end of a field with lovely countryside anytime.
We park where we like, never have any trouble but are usually only there a couple of days.
Get moved on, just drive 500 metres down the road.

Oh I see that he refused to pay rather than you couldn’t find anywhere. I’d suggest to him that if you are parking in warehouse carparks, that you aren’t actually on holiday, you are just sleeping on the roadside and you are in danger of getting a PCN. A lot of the estates here register when your car goes in and come out, and have barriers to stop gypsies.

lesson learnt,dont let the husband take control next time

i dont understand how people live sometimes

so many women on here seem to be doormats and let the man take over everything and the wife/girlfriend just goes with the flow

Home safely and all settled in my super king size Simba... feeling much happier than I did at this time last night!

I love Mumsnet.... great to read everyone’s perspective and had a few laughs along the way... cheered me up no end.

Yes, I have to agree..... I was a pushover on this particular trip.... I think I was more shocked by this ‘wild Screwfix camping’ plan than I thought and perhaps panicked a little.

Lesson learned and feeling a new found love for my little house tonight.