To want to give it one more go having a baby at 40 after 2 miscarriages?

[Jojowash]

Hi guys,

Really want your opinions on this..

AIBU..

I am 40 and I have two boys 14 and 16.

We decided to try for another baby fell pregnant easily but lost first at 9 weeks and second at 6 weeks.

The trauma is quite horrific going through the miscarriage itself as well as a complete shock and feelings of loss and failure.

But the urge has grown. They told me i basically have a 50/50 chance of mc.

Would you try just one more time?

Yes

Wishing you every possible luck.

No I wouldn't try one more time. I would decide how much I could take and try that many more times - if you have been told it's 50:50, could you bear another two, three mcs to get the baby? I think going back to baby times when you've got older dcs is mad, but I assume you have your reasons! I had a baby at 42 after 4 mcs.
Lots of vitamins, baby aspirin.

I would definitely try it...good luck!!

No, personally I wouldn't, but I really wouldn't wish a baby at forty with teenagers, but as you do, then yes, maybe you should try.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Thank you. X

@Pandaintheporridge

Was your baby your first at 42 x

You wouldn't if you already had some you mean? X

I would, but I wouldn’t say just once more- no need to put that pressure on the pregnancy.

Yes.
If you do, I really hope it works out

Yes I think it's worth another try

I had 2 miscarriages then DD2 came along. I gave birth at 39.

Yes I think you should if you feel you can. We tried again after two miscarriages at 41 and 42 and had our beautiful DD2 at 43. Good luck to you

Thanks guys x

Its quite interesting seeing the difference of opinion, some people cringe at the idea lol

I wouldn’t, the whole experiences you’ve been through has an impact on the whole family. It’s just a last surge of hormones making you broody. You have beautiful children. Do you really want to put you and the whole family through it.

I wouldn’t. You have two boys. The urge to have a baby isn’t enough reason to have one. If I were you I’d just concentrate on enjoying my life and looking to the future.

@Backhometothenorth

Aww really! ❤️ Does give hope. Did you have anything extra to help you? Been researching found some people were put on progesterone and some aspirin for clotting disorders.

@Weedinosaurus

Aww so sweet.. thank you 😊

I personally wouldn't.
But nobody else can make that decision, only you

I wouldn't. You're feeling broody because your hormones are changing. You have two teens and almost at the point of getting your life back, and you really want to start all over at 40? You're very lucky to have two healthy children, be happy with the life you have.

Yes.

Do it.

I personally wouldn’t but it’s your decision to make

@SprinkleDash

Yes that's true although the second time they were blissfully unaware.

I wonder to if it's a panic that I soon really won't be able too. They are growing older and do their own thing, don't need mum anymore. I miss the the craziness of it all, the nurturing.

If only we could see the future 🤷‍♀️

I have a 32YO and an 11yo. The 11yo was at 42 after 3 late miscarriages and a couple of early ones. Apparently I needed to be injecting anti-coagulants to carry to term. You can only ask to be referred to a recurrent M/c unit after 3 losses.

It's very hard. But it can be done.

Hi,
Yes i think its worth trying again if thats what you really want,i have teenage children and decided to try for a baby at 39,im now 42 and have had two 3 miscarriages at 6,8 and 11 weeks which were pretty devastating but after miscarriages i researched vitamins and supplements that might help,i took ubiquinol and conception vitamins (me and husband} and now i am 30 weeks pregnant,so please dont give up if its something you really want,good luck.x

If you feel you can try again I would, it doesn’t matter what other people did/would do as you aren’t them. Am so sorry for your losses - can’t imagine going through that,

My sister had 3 miscarriages before her first daughter and seeing what she went through was heartbreaking. It’ll be a big jump having a new baby with the ages of your older boys but lovely too. (I couldn’t - am 40 and have 4 boys so no more for me - thought about it as boyfriend has none and he’s a wonderful person and lovely with my kids)

You also need to think about how you would cope if this baby was born with severe disabilities, which you are a much greater risk for due to your age. How would that impact your family? What if you couldn't work anymore because of it?