To want to give it one more go having a baby at 40 after 2 miscarriages?

[Jojowash]

Hi guys,

Really want your opinions on this..

AIBU..

I am 40 and I have two boys 14 and 16.

We decided to try for another baby fell pregnant easily but lost first at 9 weeks and second at 6 weeks.

The trauma is quite horrific going through the miscarriage itself as well as a complete shock and feelings of loss and failure.

But the urge has grown. They told me i basically have a 50/50 chance of mc.

Would you try just one more time?

But in my school of 85 students there are only 6 kids with downs.

It doesn't meant is rare though. You know that the abortion rate is about 90% for DS in the UK - so it's no wonder that there aren't many children in school with this dx as most pregnancies get terminated.

Thank you xxx if you do Facebook have a search for a great group called we are geriatric mums. Lots of tips, advice and support there xxx

*I look in my garden and I remember my babies playing in it, making mud pies and sand castles. I miss that. I miss rolling out a huge piece of paper and covering them in paint, letting them jump, roll and handprint to their little hearts content.

I miss breast feeding them and hearing their little content suckles, I miss waking up to their sleepy little faces and their big nappy butts. It's what I want and I can't get it out of my head. To never have that again I can't take in my head. I crave it, I long for it.*

OP I get it I really do- I have the two at older ages also and feeling the missing them being small as well- (especially wondering how it will feel when my youngest hits secondary also where yours are at) but here's the thing-

They are only like that for a short while and it changes so fast. They will always grow up and not need you as much, it is just delaying that time..

I worked with children and wondering about going back to that perhaps. it is the oxytocin you miss - the feeling you get while feeding or cuddling them. It is like a drug. Just be aware of that and maybe have a think, that feeling of being needed and how to tackle that.

@Jojowash...i just wanted to say i think it's lovely the way you have answered everyone's msg's individually. A rare quality.
Also wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't realise what had happened and i can see why you didn't tell them on that thread.
Good luck whatever happens x

Thank you x

@nopenotplaying

Thank you beaut.. will join x

@ibanez0815

I didn't say they didn't happen. I said that we don't see it. I know people find out early and terminate. I would not do that.

Sorry hope you don’t mind me asking what vitamins where you taking?

YNBU as long as you don’t expect your older children to look after your baby