To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

[ParkLife123]

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

you should be in the same room until six months.

Glad I didn't know that when my daughter was that age. I wouldn't have got anything done!

What would you tell the police if something happened?

Noway.

I think it sounds fine, but no way would I risk it.
I know, you could be outside in a large garden and be as close as the play area, but I still wouldn't risk it.

What if there’s a problem with the internet/phone signal and you don’t get alerts about your little ones moving? I wouldn’t.

Surely everyone who is saying this is fine is just trying to go against the grain? I can’t believe anybody would agree this is okay? And I’m normally considered very laidback !!!

Thank you so much! I now know from your replies I must be mental for even thinking it!

To answer some of the questions, it is a cup-de-sac. Should have said that before instead of street but I doubt this makes any difference because of the strength of feeling here. Yes I can see my driveway and front door from the playground. I could have a full on conversation with someone standing on my driveway the entire time from the playground (one of the reasons we bought this house before having DCs was the lovely playground directly in front!)

It is pretty much like being in the back garden, yes. The street is highly unlikely to ever be blocked - it hasn’t been blocked in the 7 or so years we’ve lived here apart from for a few minutes because of the garbage truck for example! But I know what day and time they come - and they wouldn’t stop me crossing! However yes that would obstruct view. I wouldn’t have even considered taking him at that time of the morning anyway. Only when the other two have their afternoon nap.

An interesting point someone mentioned was that the baby should be in our room until six months. We do co-sleep with her. But surely that doesn’t mean you have to be in the same room as your baby at all times. My gosh when would you ever get anything done! The laundry alone is a full time job with three children

I’m really grateful for the replies. It’s given me a real sense check. It frightens me to think what would I tell the police, or to think a neighbour might report me. So I won’t risk it!

MN is so useful for sense checking things like this so thank you!!

My next question...if anyone has the time...is at what age would you allow a child to go across to the playground by themselves? Personally I don’t feel comfortable letting the eldest go until he’s well into double figures. But I’ve seen younger looking children walking alone home from school and it confuses me.

I know answers will vary massively, but at what age do you all let your children out alone, for example to play in front gardens or on the street or like in my case - a playground across from the house? And I should repeat I am not considering this for one second any time soon!

What on earth is a cup-de-sac autocorrect??

What are you thinking OP??!! Has motherhood scrambled your brain?

It's not just a terrible idea, it's a fucking godawful dreadful idea and you could easily find yourself facing child abandonment and/or neglect charges.

Spend 'quality 1:1' time with your ds playing games or reading with him while the little ones sleep and invest in a swing, seesaw, or other activity equipment for your garden so that you have no need to consider such a ludicrous idea again.

themuppetshow

Apt name! Can you read?! The link soupdragon posted AGREED with bluntness - it’s there, at the bottom, “BABIES AND TODDLERS SHOULD NEVER BE LEFT ALONE”.

Fucking Christ.

Not RTFT but no way would I do that.
Far too young to be left alone for any amount of time, sorry.

An interesting point someone mentioned was that the baby should be in our room until six months. We do co-sleep with her. But surely that doesn’t mean you have to be in the same room as your baby at all times.
I think it’s just when napping/sleeping not when awake. Baby regulates their breathing to yours, so following those guidelines helps prevent cot death.

Oh to answer another question my 4yo is quite sensible and always comes home as soon as I tell him it’s time to go. Evidently much more sensible than his mother

Yes I think motherhood has scrambled my brain.

No I definitely have not stayed in the room every time the babies have been sleeping for six months. Has anyone??

Don’t worry everyone! Message received loud and clear. Phew, so very glad I posted this today!

They're are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. I'll give you I've example: There's croup going around at the moment and three people I know have happened to hear their sleeping child suddenly being unable to breathe, with absolutely no prior warning whatsoever, not even a cough or a temperature. All three had to be taken by ambulance to A&E. Just imagine if they hadn't been there to hear it.

Nope. What if your other kid falls off the swing, breaks his leg, do you wait with him and comfort him or leave him while you go home to collect your other kids and head to the hospital? One of many risky situations that can arise. It's not worth it.

MN is so useful for sense checking things like this so thank you!!

And thank goodness for MN at times when people cant even use their common sense. Seriously this was something you needed to verify on the internet from strangers??

Nope. That’s a terrible idea. I wouldn’t go further than the back garden and even then only to bring the laundry in.

Double figures before you'd let him out to play without you? I must be insane because I left my 7 year old out to play with his friends. They knew how far they could go and they stay on the grassy area. We can see them. I did the same as a child, but we went out of sight as the park I grew up near was around the block.

Things like this always make me think what if something happened to you? Or your son had an accident and you couldn't leave him? How would you get back to your children then?

Don’t do it.
Going across the road to play with your DS in the park is very different to hanging the washing out, getting something from the freezer in the garage and watering the hanging baskets (all the type of things I’ve done with a sleeping baby in the house). Once you leave your ‘property’ it just feels wrong.

at what age would you allow a child to go across to the playground by themselves? Personally I don’t feel comfortable letting the eldest go until he’s well into double figures.

On the basis that you were thinking about leaving your baby and toddler at home on their own, this is rather strangely too much the other way!
If the playground is as literally across the road as you say, I'd suggest from age 7 or 8 would be fine. Possibly even younger depending on the local area and how busy the playground is etc.

This is how quickly a standard house fire takes hold. So the answer is no. The answer to going to the bottom of a big garden should also be no.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=fsaLCdC3iWw

I am a childminder. I have pre school children who don’t nap and one that does . During nap time we do the activities too old for baby , get out the small parts etc.

Can you imagine if your children were napping and I took one to the park . I would be suspended and rightly so.

If your motive is to have 1 to 1 time with your eldest then why can't you do that in your home whilst they nap? Get out the paints, decorate biscuits, make fairy cakes, read books, do jigsaws, junk modelling no need to leave your little ones.

Yes @Applesanbananas because I believed my situation to be somewhat unique and if you saw my house you would probably think oh the playground is basically your front garden...

But like I said, I won’t risk it.

There are so many risky scenarios so it’s just not worth it. I think the most worrying being if my WiFi drops and I don’t actually get the notification that the baby is crying/choking.

That alone has scared me enough to never dream of doing this!