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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?

453 replies

ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 16:43

Please hear me out.

House has a driveway outside, and then the street. On the other side of the street is a playground which my DS aged 4 loves. We go out there to play as often as we can but usually all four of us (me, DS, his younger brother aged 2, and newest addition our 5 month old baby).

I’m considering, in order to be able to spend a little quality 1:1 time with DS, taking him occasionally across the street while the other two nap. House is alarmed. I have baby monitors looking into their cots - the two year old cannot get out of his cot yet and in any case there’s also a baby gate at the door.

But really any sign of movement or noise from either of them and I get an alert on my phone.

The time it takes to get back home from the playground realistically is around 1 minute.

Is this a terrible idea? I’ve thought about the risks of them choking or something but also think that I would be able to get back home in the same time as it would take me to get to them if I was for example in the shower!

Does it sound fine or is it a risk no one else would take?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Kia123456 · 17/10/2019 20:05

Sorry but this is a really bad idea.

MsNic · 17/10/2019 20:09

please don't do this. What if something happened to you crossing the road? Or the child you have with you? What if your child had an accident in the playground and then the alarm when off at home. What do you do then? Children fall all the time in playgrounds. Or what if you forgot your phone or keys or anything else?

BeeBops · 17/10/2019 20:10

Seriously, the best thing you did was ask this question. It wasn't a stupid question because it's potentially stopped something devastating happening.

Me and DD live in a small cul de sac too, sounds a similar set up. Just a thought, do you have a neighbour you chat to that would be willing to sit in your home whilst they nap?

Instatwat · 17/10/2019 20:10

When are people going to RTFT? OP has been back and said she’s seen sense and won’t be doing it. No need for a zillion echos of the same sentiment.

crispysausagerolls · 17/10/2019 20:11

No I definitely have not stayed in the room every time the babies have been sleeping for six months. Has anyone??

Yes.

themuppetshow

Are you conveniently ignoring the quote I gave where it explicitly states to never leave a baby or toddler alone? It’s probably not entrenched in law because it’s such a fucking stupid thing to do that only a moron would do it. And, by the way; there are plenty of things which aren’t illegal but which are morally abhorrent, not just leaving your young children alone in a locked house. eg you can walk past someone drowning and just decide not to help them, even if they die you are not legally responsible for that 🤷🏻‍♀️ But sure, the law is what’s important here 😁

N.B, just because it’s legal, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t get done for negligence (and rightly so).

CornishCreation · 17/10/2019 20:20

I wouldn't, what if someone reports you? You would have social services all over you. It's not worth it you'd never forgive yourself if anything happened.

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 20:24

crispysausagerolls
it's idiotic to pretend you can never leave a child alone.
So what, you co-sleep for 3 years, you never go to the loos, take a shower, take the bin out, go in the garden?

Give it a rest. It's such a stupid thing to pretend that I won't bother reply to you further. Only a moron would think they have to be glued to a child for the first 4 or 5 years of their life.

dappledsunshine · 17/10/2019 20:25

Why are people still posting and saying no don't do it when the op has acknowledged multiple times that her judgement was off and she won't be doing it!

IncrediblySadToo · 17/10/2019 20:28

There’s some utter shite on this thread, but this...thus is bonkers!...

2 year old can get into trouble or bite the baby,

Yep, the 2 year old is going to get out of their cot, instantly work out how to open at least one baby gate, climb into the baby’s cot, just for a chomp.

Little cannibal

@ThatMuppetShow you’re wasting your breath, risk assessment & logic is not prevalent on MN And fires & aliens are lurking waiting to pounce...

People bringing up ‘that child’ bred to guve their heads a wobble, there’s nothing at all similar about what happened to her and this situation. Leave her out if it. Stop using a little girl in this way, it’s pathetic.

Waiting4Sprogo · 17/10/2019 20:36

I agree with the consensus that it isn’t safe and it’s very risky but also I think that if you were to do it, you’d be so worried about the ‘what ifs’ and checking on your babies so often that you wouldn’t really enjoy yourself at the park and your eldest would see this and be disappointed by your lack of emotional presence in that moment. It must be really hard having lots of young children and it sounds like you just want to do your best but your eldest will love any time spent with you and he won’t mind where. Consider 1:1 indoor activities whilst the babies nap, he will still enjoy it.

ChooChooItsAllAboutYou · 17/10/2019 20:38

Shocked that any parent would consider doing this. If you were at home and something happened you would at least be able to call an ambulance while tending to a sick child while your children were kept safe. If you were in the park and your 4 year old started mucking around and wouldn't walk to the house or he was on the other side of the park and couldn't hear you shouting for him - then what would you do?

Excited101 · 17/10/2019 20:40

You can hold a full on conversation with someone on your drive from the playground,? I don’t really see a problem then tbh...

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 20:42

IncrediblySadToo

I have to admit that the cannibalism risk is an entirely new one.

This is exactly why I stay on MN Grin

Sportinggirl · 17/10/2019 20:43

Don't jump down my throat, I haven't read the whole thread, 10 pages is too long when I've two sick kiddos... Anyway I know of a woman who left her 10 y/o to go to the pub a street away while he was asleep, he woke up freaked out, called his granny and the police, long story short his dad now has full custody. Tbh his mum was a complete dick anyway. I'm sure there's other things to do to spend a bit of quality time together, swimming pool when their dad has the other two? Or a few jigsaws, arts and crafts when the other kids are alseep.

crispysausagerolls · 17/10/2019 20:44

As a PP said, huge difference between stuff you HAVE to do, eg going to the loo, and stuff you just do for kicks. Eg going to the playground.

ThatMuppetShow · 17/10/2019 20:45

there's playground and playground...

To leave the children at home while they’re napping?
Rhi11 · 17/10/2019 20:50

Think it's irresponsible what other crazy ideas have you thought off or acted on ....

IncrediblySadToo · 17/10/2019 20:52

@Sportinggirl. & how exactly is that even remotely the same?

WTFdidwedo · 17/10/2019 20:52

Sportinggirl cool story.

WMPAGL · 17/10/2019 20:54

@INeedNewShoes I didn't know that SIDS peaks at 4-5 months - how terrifying! Do you know if white noise is supposed to help?

Just off to hover over my DS's cot!

RainbowBlanket · 17/10/2019 20:58

Is there anything else you can do for quality time OP?

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 21:02

@ThatMuppetShow that is pretty much our set up except the swings, slides, monkeybars and roundabout are even closer to the houses than in your pic Smile So I still don’t think my judgement was way off as some are suggesting. But as I’ve said a million times, I won’t take the risk!

@Rhi11 gosh I’ve had so many silly ideas it would take too long to post them all and besides, I’m a little busy right now tending to my newborn who has just been bitten by my toddler who miraculously learned how to jump out of his cot and climb two stair gates, climb into his baby sister’s cot and bite a person for the very first time, while the house has spontaneously combusted of course. So much to do!

I officially love Mumsnet!

OP posts:
Passthewipes · 17/10/2019 21:06

Do you not have a double buggy? Could the little ones not nap in a buggy while you're at the park?
Or just save park for a family event, as 2yo will enjoy park too, and find something only suitable for your eldest to do as your 1:1 thing, so it's a bit more special as it's something the others are too young for?

Original poster
ParkLife123 · 17/10/2019 21:06

@RainbowBlanket Yes, thank you for asking, we do lots of other things while the younger two sleep. Bake together, read, play games, and sometimes (and this is going to shock some of the more judgmental people on here) cuddle on the sofa and watch some telly. The horror!

Dear me, I really shouldn’t have said that. Cue the “four year old kids should not be watching any television at all” comments!

On a very serious note, I didn’t know about SIDS peaking at 4-5months either! So I will now be going to bed with my newborn! Night all and thank you for the much needed perspective!

OP posts:
raspberryk · 17/10/2019 21:06

@WMPAGL
@INeedNewShoes I didn't know that SIDS peaks at 4-5 months - how terrifying!

That is because it doesnt'! it is 2-3 or 2-4 months not 4-5!