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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was just down right nasty?

127 replies

ICareEvenIfYoudont · 15/10/2019 21:12

I put a 20 second video on my social media story, of my baby kicking as I haven’t managed to get it on camera yet and this kick was huge and shocked the life out of me! I was chuffed to bits as I have anterior placenta and didn’t think I’d see or feel much.

Last week I had my 25 week appointment and again recorded the heartbeat which was lovely to hear.

I understand it doesn’t interest everybody, but family and close friends have mentioned them and said it’s wonderful, can’t wait to meet them etc. But I mainly put them in a story for me and family/friends who don’t mind or want to see. I don’t expect everyone to take an interest by any means and watching stories is totally optional, you don’t have to view someone’s story if you don’t want to!

But today at work a girl mentioned my story and said she doesn’t think anyone wants to see my belly or care about her kicking.

I know people think like that, but I would never actually say that to someone’s face and it really did get to me. I usually get along with this girl and she’s pregnant herself with her second baby so I would have thought she would understand my excitement for my first?

It’s been really bugging me all evening and I keep relaying what she said and how she said it and it’s just making me feel more humiliated and shite. I suffer quite badly with anxiety as it is and now I feel embarrassed that I have to work with her everyday and act like what she said didn’t upset me. I’ve seen pregnant women put up picture and videos and I’ve never though to myself ‘I don’t want to see that’.. and if I wasn’t interested I definitely wouldn’t say to their face that nobody cares. I think it’s just spiteful.

AIBU in thinking if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say nothin’ at all? -insert mental imagine of thumper here-

OP posts:
MrsGarethSouthgate · 15/10/2019 21:14

Unfriend her. Problem solved from both sides then, she can hardly complain.

Original poster
ICareEvenIfYoudont · 15/10/2019 21:17

I did say to DP when I came home that maybe I should block her from seeing my stories. But then I don’t want to be confronted if another colleague mentions anything else I put and she can’t see it and realises I’ve stopped her viewing them.

I wouldn’t want it to look bitchy or to cause tension by blocking her. I just think she has no filter to what she can say sometimes. That or she’s just as full as hormones as I am!

OP posts:
18995168a · 15/10/2019 21:17

Yeah, she was being shitty. Of course a random workmate you’re friends with on fb wasn’t the reason you posted it! It’s just a quick easy way of sharing it with those who do care, and the ones who don’t can walk on by. You choose whether to click on someone’s story, it doesn’t just happen automatically.

Rest assured people who love you and are interested in your pregnancy are probably delighted to see the kick, I know if any friend of mine shared that on social media I’d find it beautiful and love to see it. And when someone shares something I’m not bothered about I just ignore it.

She’s definitely out of line. Who knows what her motivations are though, they’re not your problem. I admit my first thought was maybe jealousy that you have people interested in your baby and maybe she doesn’t feel she does, but really who knows.

Enjoy your little one kicking!

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/10/2019 21:18

It wasn’t the nicest thing to say and as she’s clearly not interested in your life I’d just unfriend / remove her from your social media profiles. As to feeling humiliated and embarrassed, don’t give it another thought. She won’t. She’ll have forgotten what she said within minutes of having said it. It’s really nothing to work yourself up over and dwell on.

GettingABitDesperateNow · 15/10/2019 21:18

Well firstly she is wrong as plenty of people have expressed interest.

Maybe she feels a bit jealous as nobody is ever as interested in someones second pregnancy, it's all 'you're an old hand at this' while everyone gushes over peoples first pregnancy so maybe she feels left out of the attention

Lastly I'd say pretty much that 90pc of people in general don't care or arent interested in anyone's Facebook updates, about anything, unless it affects them directly. Most people ignore most posts. So she technically may have a point but to say so was nasty

earlynightneeded · 15/10/2019 21:18

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Singlenotsingle · 15/10/2019 21:21

Have to agree with everyone else. Block her. She's made it quite clear that she's not interested, so you'd be doing her a favour.

Cherrysoup · 15/10/2019 21:21

Block, ffs. Why put up with this shit in your life? Do you need the extra hassle of her horrible comments? If anyone says anything, I’d tell them you didn’t appreciate the spiteful comments. Easy.

HT85 · 15/10/2019 21:22

She sounds like a really dreadful person.

Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark · 15/10/2019 21:22

She's not acting like a friend. If anyone on my FB put up something like that I'd be really happy for them.
I would block also. If she can't cope with that how is she going to be when you put up newborn pics? Her problem not yours.

Jollitwiglet · 15/10/2019 21:23

I would block her.

If she mentions being unable to see your stories you can explain that as she's been so vocal previously about disliking your content, you thought you would prefer it if she didn't see it anymore

fedup21 · 15/10/2019 21:24

I would block her.If she mentions being unable to see your stories you can explain that as she's been so vocal previously about disliking your content, you thought you would prefer it if she didn't see it anymore

This

cacklingmags · 15/10/2019 21:35

She was nasty - who knows what her insecurities are - but you can bet that it was insecurity that caused her to be nasty. You have to work with her so the best thing to do is to forgive her and feel a bit sorry for her - no one who is happy has a go at people like that.

HoppingPavlova · 15/10/2019 21:38

Most people would think this but smile politely and not say anything.

ashtrayheart · 15/10/2019 21:38

Agree with PP just block her grumpy arse

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 15/10/2019 21:40

‘You don’t like it? Don’t look at it then’

Weedinosaurus · 15/10/2019 21:42

She was nasty.
Don’t give her a second thought.
Enjoy your excitement over your baby and capture every precious second. It’s an amazing time. Don’t let anyone spoil it.

And if I was your friend, I’d genuinely enjoy seeing your updates.

Leflic · 15/10/2019 21:46

On the other side are you a bit gushy? Do people feel uncomfortable that you are posting all this in a “ proud” sort of way? Most women will have had a miscarriage at some point.
Not saying this is why you posted it at all but Facebook rules are “don’t show off”.

Fantababy · 15/10/2019 21:47

I would definitely defriend her. If she expresses surprise that she can't see your profile any more explain why.

BumbleBeee69 · 15/10/2019 21:48

She doesn't get to tell YOU what you can and cannot post on YOUR page OP, tell this bore to go fuck herself, and then Block her.. I bet your anxiety is sorted instantly.

Gonetoget · 15/10/2019 21:49

It clearly isn’t true as some people have liked, commented on it.
She sounds jealous tbh. I would just explain that no one is forcing her to look at your feed and leave her to it.

Smelborp · 15/10/2019 21:49

Block her. No need for that comment. She should be the one feeling embarrassed.

BreatheAndFocus · 15/10/2019 21:50

Block her and forget about her. She’s nasty and probably jealous so said that to upset you.

Don’t waste another second’s thought on her.

And congratulations Smile

Horehound · 15/10/2019 21:53

Fucking hell what a bitch. She could just have unfollowed you or turned off stories but she didn't have to say anything to you. She chose to say it and she chose to hurt you.

amysaurus87 · 15/10/2019 21:54

I'd block her as she clearly doesn't care. I know you said shes pregnant with baby number 2 but could there be an underlying reason she had such a strong reaction...today is the last day of Baby Loss Awareness Week after all?