To think this was just down right nasty?

[ICareEvenIfYoudont]

I put a 20 second video on my social media story, of my baby kicking as I haven’t managed to get it on camera yet and this kick was huge and shocked the life out of me! I was chuffed to bits as I have anterior placenta and didn’t think I’d see or feel much.

Last week I had my 25 week appointment and again recorded the heartbeat which was lovely to hear.

I understand it doesn’t interest everybody, but family and close friends have mentioned them and said it’s wonderful, can’t wait to meet them etc. But I mainly put them in a story for me and family/friends who don’t mind or want to see. I don’t expect everyone to take an interest by any means and watching stories is totally optional, you don’t have to view someone’s story if you don’t want to!

But today at work a girl mentioned my story and said she doesn’t think anyone wants to see my belly or care about her kicking.

I know people think like that, but I would never actually say that to someone’s face and it really did get to me. I usually get along with this girl and she’s pregnant herself with her second baby so I would have thought she would understand my excitement for my first?

It’s been really bugging me all evening and I keep relaying what she said and how she said it and it’s just making me feel more humiliated and shite. I suffer quite badly with anxiety as it is and now I feel embarrassed that I have to work with her everyday and act like what she said didn’t upset me. I’ve seen pregnant women put up picture and videos and I’ve never though to myself ‘I don’t want to see that’.. and if I wasn’t interested I definitely wouldn’t say to their face that nobody cares. I think it’s just spiteful.

AIBU in thinking if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say nothin’ at all? -insert mental imagine of thumper here-

I wouldn't let it worry me. If she says something similar again, just casually respond "Stuff I put on my Story is actually intended for my family and close friends. You don't have to click on it you know. If it's a problem for you, you can unfriend me if you like, it won't bother me".

Let her know she's not that important to you.

Jeez, what a misery,!
OP if you were my daughter, sister, friend, cousin, whatever... I'd be delighted and excited to see your pregnancy pics and posts! It's a wonderful exciting time and so nice that SM means it it can be shared with those we care about.

Ignore/block this killjoy.

I wouldn't have a friend or follower of SM that judged me and was unkind about my posts.

Delete her OP, no hesitation.

She was being insensitive at best and bitchy at worst. Block her. She will know why and it may help her learn to keep her views to herself.

Sod being understanding, putting up "I am so sorry but..." messages on your fb feed. Bollocks to her and any other dim fucker who has anything negative to say.

It doesn't matter who, if anyone, has had any previous bereavement. YOU ARE HAVING A BABY and your world is full of joy and not a few of your own fears.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE people who try to use or excuse such shitty behaviour with the "Oh, but they had their own sad story to tell"

It is essentially, and often forcefully, emotionally blackmailing and denigrating.

OP - yuou have every right to enjoy being pregnant WITHOUT having to hide it for some unknown other's unknown to you past. Your colleague is a bitch and you just block her. If she mentions it just say "Are you surprised after your last comment about it?" and walk on. Report to your line manager if she persists.

Unfriend. Easy

Remove her. I was at my last job 8 years and had everyone from work on my social media. It caused so much hassle and drama.

Moved to my new job and havent added anyone. My private life is private, its so much better.

It’s YOUR FB wall. You can put what you like on it just as she can on hers (and I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of trying to tell her what she can and can’t post). It’s Tell her that if she doesn’t like it she can unfollow you -you’ll still be FB friends but she won’t see all your posts in her feed (or even unfriend you if she feels that strongly).

It’s her responsibility, not yours, to filter her FB feed.

Do you class her as a friend? If not, delete her. If you do, put it down to hormones.

I personally wouldn't post a video like that and don't 'get' people who post pictures of their bump each week, but I'd just scroll past. We're all different and if that's what you want to post then good for you!

Congratulations on the baby 💕

I wouldn't overthink this, she sounds like a twat. Just block her and if she mentions why (which she won't), just say 'I appreciated you telling me that my status' don't interest you so made sure no more would offend you'

"Next time I want your opinion I'll ask for it"

Is she perhaps undergoing fertility treatment unknown to you? Has she had multiple miscarriages that you don't know about?

I wouldn't say she was just being nasty. You may, unwittingly, have caused her a good deal of pain and anguish.

Simply block her, and do both of you a favour?

Shes very rude.I think that it's either

1.Struggling to conceive/wants a baby and is jealous

2.Doesnt like you and cant resist being a cow

Whichever it is dont give it another thought,its non of her business what you share on social media.Block her.

WhateverHappenedToMe PrincessHoneysuckle

It’s literally in the very first post that she’s currently pregnant with her second child. Why even bother replying if you cba to read even just the OP?

Just unfriend her, and if she asks tell her why.

@18895168a ok so I was multitasking whilst reading,calm the fuck down

Do you not have your close friends and families mobile numbers? You could have sent them the video on whatsapp - obviously you wanted it to go to everyone on Facebook - and to do so on baby loss awareness week shows a complete lack of tact and understanding of others. In fact you don’t even seem to have considered that maybe this girl has lost a baby or other friends of yours might be struggling - you’ve just come on to rant about how mean she is. If you post something on Facebook you know it’s going to lots of people.

In my family we have a baby news group and that’s where all the baby news is posted and excitement generated. No need to put things online for all to see - unless of course you like the attention.

Block her and don't worry about it, some people will moan about anything you post yet still they look.

She is not your friend. She is your colleague and doesn't need to know what goes on your life. Unfriend her. This will send a message to others as well. Well..tbh after seeing so many fall outs amongst colleagues on MN I would say always keep your colleagues at an arms length. I personally never saw the reason to make friends at work.There is a difference between being friendly and being friends. It's hard to maintain a professional environment if you are friends. You already spend too much time with them at work, you don't need to share every detail of your life with them.

What she said to you was just unnecessary and rude. I don’t understand some people.

If I were you, I wouldn’t block her, I’d carry on posting whatever makes you happy. There’s lots of people that love seeing it, don’t worry about the negative one. If she says anything else, point out to her that if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to look at it.

It’s literally in the very first post that she’s currently pregnant with her second child. Why even bother replying if you cba to read even just the OP?

I'm with @18995168a on this. I get that people don't want to read everyone's responses, and it's difficult to do so when a thread runs into lots of pages, but at least have the decency to ready the OP's first post in full (and preferably any updates they give). It's one of my pet peeves on MN when someone contributes and immediately contradicts something that was clear in the opening post.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

I ABSOLUTELY HATE people who try to use or excuse such shitty behaviour with the "Oh, but they had their own sad story to tell"

This. ^

This does my head in too. It's like when someone says their DH is doing their head in, someone ALWAYS comes onto the thread and says 'my dear, darling hubby lost his long battle with cancer in 2017, do you know how much I would like to come here and complain about him, you ungrateful, entitled t**t.'

Or when someone comes on saying their mother is being a bitch, someone comes along and says 'I lost my dear mother 3 years ago. Be bloody grateful you HAVE a mother.' Or if someone says their son and daughter are giving them grief fighting all the time, someone comes along and says 'I have THREE children, you don't KNOW hard work unless you have three! How DARE you complain about your TWO kids?'

Of course it's a shame, and quite sad that people have lost their husband or mother, (or if someone is struggling with 3 kids and finds it much harder than they did with two...etc etc...) but to try and minimise the way other people feel, but 'top-trumping' their grief and suffering is just horrible.

Does my head in. This 'how dare you complain, when I have had a worse experience than you,' attitude really boils my piss.

*BY top trumping their grief.

I didn’t do this while pregnant, I definitely have no interest in watching this stuff, but I know lots of people do. She was being unreasonable and unkind for no reason.

What a strange person she is. The whole of social media is fundamentally people posting stuff about themselves. That's the point. Why is she thinking she has any say in what you post about your life?