To think this was just down right nasty?

[ICareEvenIfYoudont]

I put a 20 second video on my social media story, of my baby kicking as I haven’t managed to get it on camera yet and this kick was huge and shocked the life out of me! I was chuffed to bits as I have anterior placenta and didn’t think I’d see or feel much.

Last week I had my 25 week appointment and again recorded the heartbeat which was lovely to hear.

I understand it doesn’t interest everybody, but family and close friends have mentioned them and said it’s wonderful, can’t wait to meet them etc. But I mainly put them in a story for me and family/friends who don’t mind or want to see. I don’t expect everyone to take an interest by any means and watching stories is totally optional, you don’t have to view someone’s story if you don’t want to!

But today at work a girl mentioned my story and said she doesn’t think anyone wants to see my belly or care about her kicking.

I know people think like that, but I would never actually say that to someone’s face and it really did get to me. I usually get along with this girl and she’s pregnant herself with her second baby so I would have thought she would understand my excitement for my first?

It’s been really bugging me all evening and I keep relaying what she said and how she said it and it’s just making me feel more humiliated and shite. I suffer quite badly with anxiety as it is and now I feel embarrassed that I have to work with her everyday and act like what she said didn’t upset me. I’ve seen pregnant women put up picture and videos and I’ve never though to myself ‘I don’t want to see that’.. and if I wasn’t interested I definitely wouldn’t say to their face that nobody cares. I think it’s just spiteful.

AIBU in thinking if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say nothin’ at all? -insert mental imagine of thumper here-

Your colleague's comment isn't very nice, OP. That said, who knows what happened to her to make her say something like that? I'd just let it wash over me if I were you.

However, I don't have any social media, so I don't know what you mean about stories. I also dislike all this advice to 'block' people. Why would anyone be friends on social media with someone they weren't friends with in real life? And when did 'blocking' someone become a substitute for real interaction? Not aimed at you, OP - just generally. I often see 'block her/him' on here as a suggestion, and never understand why it's such a thing. I have lovely friends in real life, and I also encounter people whom I don't like and who probably don't like me. However, I don't do all this 'blocking' stuff, because I see a lot of the people I like, and try to avoid the people I find less appealing.

On a related note.. I just wonder why anyone needs to put these kinds of pictures on social media at all? There's a sense that everyone's life is a kind of social-media-"curated" Story. In fact, things were probably better when everyone just got on with living their lives, rather than turning them into social media posts. Our lives are not "stories". We are all just getting on with trundling through the days in the best way we can.

I do appreciate, though, that I'm a dinosaur in this regard.

You don't want to look bitchy, but she's happy to do so! Just unfriendly her. If anyone says anything, just tell them what you said

She’s prob hormonal being like a bitch don’t let your anxiety take over.
Let her go

I would just let it be.
There is clearly a back reason with her.
Enjoy your pregnancy and accept that not everyone is having the same.

There is no need for her nastiness.

Baby loss awareness or not, it doesn't give her the right or reason to put you down and humiliate you. I've had a miscarriage. Doesn't give me the right to be a nasty bit of work to a pregnant woman.

She didn't caution against being too public, you are very far along, she was nasty.

I want you to pay attention to the next bit:
IT ISNT BITCHY TO PROTECT YOURSELF
IT ISNT BITCHY TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO IS NASTY TO YOU
IT ISNT BITCHY TO STOP ALLOWING SOMEONE ACCESS TO YOUR LIFE IF THEY HURT YOU
IT ISNT BITCHY TO BE HURT BY THIS AND TELL HER SO

I understand you are anxious and find social issues hard, but p,ease be assured that blocking her is not an act of bitchiness.

Hers was an act of bitchiness.

I love cooing over pregnant friends. I loved feeling my nieces kick. I've been a birth partner 4 times and have found it amazing and an honour each time.

Your family and actual friends will share your happiness even if they've had babies too.

She ISNT your friend. I'd cull your Facebook friends and be a little more selective if I were you.

Unfriend her. If she asks why say you'll be writing more about baby and ( as she's so bloody rude and ignorant) she said she's not interested so she won't want to read it. Don't invite her back, she's a cow.

Block her.

She may not be interested in your baby, as is her absolute right, but there is no need to be nasty about it.

Congratulations OP!

Echo what most people ace said - block / unfriend her - I doubt she will mention it.

A lot of people on here has said that perhaps it's something to do with her experiencing a loss in the past. I've lost a baby and whilst it was tough seeing pregnancy announcements / updates on social media, I never made any nasty comments to those posting. I've since had a baby and I proudly posted pictures of my bump. I had waited a long time to do it. You're entitled to share what you like and what makes you happy.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and being a mummy xx

@ICareEvenIfYoudont

This lady cannot speak for everyone who views your stories. If it was me I would continue to share and next time, call her out.

I would share a story and say that someone told you that you shouldny be sharing pregnancy stories and that no one will care but that you wont let the non-revelent opinions of some spoil the many who do care from seeing your pregnancy updates!

Well thats what I would do, she has not right.

I’d most definitely tell her she was out of order. How a bitchy thing to say

I have to work with her everyday and act like what she said didn’t upset me.

Don't feel as though you have to act as if you weren't upset. She made quite a thoughtless, mean, uncalled for remark and there's no harm in her knowing that. It doesn't have to to be confrontational or dramatic, you cut back on contact and if she were to enquire why you can tell her. If she doesn't ask then you go about your business but don't engage with her any more than is professional/polite.

I would also consider just blocking her on Facebook. Again, if she were to ask, you can give her previous remarks as a reason.

You enjoy your pregnancy! X

Well she obviously cared enough to watch it and make a bitchy comment.

I'd ignore it from now, don't react or let her know she's got to you. Lots of people post baby news/progress on Facebook, but nobody is forced to interact with it.

She couldve just skipped past it and kept her mouth shut.

yes shes nasty. The entire point of social media is so your friends and family can share the joy in stuff like this. Noones forcing her to be your mate, and shes gone and looked at your actual story herself, not even in her news feed. Shes clearly snippy and bitchy. Please dont feel insecure because of the likes of her

Block her. She will most definitely know that it's from the comments she made today and wont have the bottle to ask you about it.
Don't take it personally though. She's right that a lot of people outside family don't care. However, you were doing no harm and its lovely to see people excited about things!

@early hahahahaha

Yes OP listen to early!! Tell her she's BORING.

Wow, she sounds like a sweet, caring mother and friend... Hope she softens that attitude when talking to her own kids.

She's horrible. Block her and make sure she knows she blocked.
Lots of things on social media are dull. Most of us manage to scroll politely past without being rude.

Baby kicks videos are really special and heart warming though imo

Imagine when she attends her own ultrasound...

Nurse: And here's baby; there's the head, arms, feet... Can you see?
Rude Colleague: Ugh. Nobody wants to see those kinds of images.

you should have replied with "well scroll on down then phyliss,scroll on by,its MY page where i put on what I want to share,you can alway unfriend me you know ir just IGNORE it if it dont intrest you"

i would have then defriended her,im a mouthy bitch though

OP, fuck her.

Enjoy your pregnancy and post whatever you like, it was rude of her to say. Many times I have clicked "like" on fb of the 100th dog picture that week, newborn baby, new house etc not everything is of interest to me but If it is to my friend, then I will go along with it

I wouldn’t want it to look bitchy or to cause tension by blocking her. I just think she has no filter to what she can say sometimes. That or she’s just as full as hormones as I am!

The only person responsible for tension, or being petty, is her

'Most people would think this but smile politely and not say anything.'

Quite

I've had two miscarriages and I love seeing others baby pics, stories, pics of their kids etc.

Some people seem less capable of warm emotions for other people than others.

I don't think I would block her as that would be to escalate the disagreement /bad feeling/awkwardness with someone you have to see regularly (I suffer from anxiety myself, so I completely understand), but you can set facebook so certain 'friends' cannot view certain posts.

When you make a post, click near the bottom right of the post where it says 'friends' opposite newsfeed or story, depending which you've posted.
Scroll down the few options until you get to 'friends except.'

Put in the person's name.
I think once you've done it once it stays like that for every post unless you change the setting back on a post.

So to her, it will forever more look like you haven't made any new posts. Hope this helps!
blog.trendmicro.com/i-want-to-hide-my-next-facebook-post-from-certain-friends-on-my-list-how-do-i-do-that/

But today at work a girl mentioned my story and said she doesn’t think anyone wants to see my belly or care about her kicking

You should have quipped back "Well YOU are giving it a lot of attention.....i'm glad i entertained you when you had nothing better to do with yourself"

but Facebook rules are “don’t show off”

Where exactly is this Facebook rule written?

At least 90% of all social media is people showing off.