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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was just down right nasty?

127 replies

ICareEvenIfYoudont · 15/10/2019 21:12

I put a 20 second video on my social media story, of my baby kicking as I haven’t managed to get it on camera yet and this kick was huge and shocked the life out of me! I was chuffed to bits as I have anterior placenta and didn’t think I’d see or feel much.

Last week I had my 25 week appointment and again recorded the heartbeat which was lovely to hear.

I understand it doesn’t interest everybody, but family and close friends have mentioned them and said it’s wonderful, can’t wait to meet them etc. But I mainly put them in a story for me and family/friends who don’t mind or want to see. I don’t expect everyone to take an interest by any means and watching stories is totally optional, you don’t have to view someone’s story if you don’t want to!

But today at work a girl mentioned my story and said she doesn’t think anyone wants to see my belly or care about her kicking.

I know people think like that, but I would never actually say that to someone’s face and it really did get to me. I usually get along with this girl and she’s pregnant herself with her second baby so I would have thought she would understand my excitement for my first?

It’s been really bugging me all evening and I keep relaying what she said and how she said it and it’s just making me feel more humiliated and shite. I suffer quite badly with anxiety as it is and now I feel embarrassed that I have to work with her everyday and act like what she said didn’t upset me. I’ve seen pregnant women put up picture and videos and I’ve never though to myself ‘I don’t want to see that’.. and if I wasn’t interested I definitely wouldn’t say to their face that nobody cares. I think it’s just spiteful.

AIBU in thinking if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say nothin’ at all? -insert mental imagine of thumper here-

OP posts:
SomeonesSomeone · 15/10/2019 21:54

I suggest telling her this.

I know my story bored you but I posted it for family and friends who love me and I care about to see. I didn't post it with random nobodies in mind but never mind, I've blocked you now so you won't have to put up with any more of it.

Justmuddlingalong · 15/10/2019 21:55

Why are you worried about appearing bitchy if you block her. She's obviously not. Block her and if she asks why just Hmm at her.

leafyskyline · 15/10/2019 21:58

Unfriend her. If she asks you about it just calmly say that since she commented 'no one wants to see what you post' you thought it best to ensure she didn't. No need for drama. It's very clear cut.

Aaarrgghhh · 15/10/2019 21:59

Ignore her. I might not be interested in everyone’s entire pregnancy online but I can easily scroll by, it doesn’t affect my life. I put stuff up about my kids sometimes and if people don’t like it that’s fine, they can unfollow at the very least or hide my posts. To complain would be silly.

MustShowDH · 15/10/2019 21:59

YANBU.
She could always scroll past.

Did you do it today? It's baby loss awareness week and today was the Wave Of Light event. Maybe her, or someone close to her is hurting over a baby loss and feeling a bit sensitive.

Sedlescombe · 15/10/2019 22:00

I have never understood the mentality of people going on social media complaining about what people post on social media. Perhaps suggest she isn’t obliged to read it

Sallyseagull · 15/10/2019 22:02

My initial thought was that she may have suffered a loss and thats why she has such a sharp, negative reaction to posts like you put up, however, it doesn't give people the right to be deliberately nasty.

Block her so theres no chance of her being upset by your posts ane stories and vice versa.

BlueJava · 15/10/2019 22:03

I'd block her tbh. I only have true friends and family on facebook (i.e. those that I know close enough and who would be genuinely pleased at such an event). Have a "cull" of "friends" and problem solved.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 15/10/2019 22:04

You don't want to be bitchy, but that's exactly what she's being. If she is going to make you second guess the news you share with your real friends and family at this exciting time in your life then blocking her will be easiest all around. You don't have to be friends with everyone you work with.

HEMammajamma · 15/10/2019 22:05

Wow! That was nasty and uncalled for, what she said and to a fellow pregnant lady and first time mum. I rarely use this word to describe people but 'jealous' much?

rainingallday · 15/10/2019 22:09

@ICareEvenIfYoudont

What a nasty fucking cow she is.

Unfortunately you do encounter some catty bitchy spiteful cowbags when you're having a baby, and it gets worse!!! So brace yerself! Hmm

For some reason, some people (women mostly) are nasty to pregnant women, and women who have babies/young kids. It's mostly child free women who are mean. (Not ALL child free women of course, and many are lovely, but if anyone is going to be spiteful, it is often a child free woman.)

I think it's lovely to see/read stuff like this on FB, and even if I COULDN'T be arsed with it, I would just scroll by, or unfollow that person. Not post spiteful shit.

As some others have said, BLOCK her. And when she asks why, tell her because your posts seemed to be offending her, so you decided to prevent her from seeing them.

Congrats on your forthcoming baby!!! Grin

YellWat · 15/10/2019 22:17

Can I just suggest that maybe seeing this as extreme and bitchy etc may be missing something? Maybe she's worried about her baby not kicking much - my second didn't, following a loss, and it was hugely worrying. I was so stressed. Or maybe she's had a loss and is anxious about that and about people being too out there. Or maybe it's something else because when we are pregnant we are not always kind or rational or thoughtful as it's hard fricking work making a person.

I know she hadn't been kind, but could you just try to be kind anyway? Maybe ask her if she's ok or just generally try not to see this as about you as it's most likely not.

If everyone cut off everyone else the moment they made a mistake this would be one heck of a lonely world.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 15/10/2019 22:20

She was being nasty! I love seeing pregnant bumps moving and have felt it a privilege when I’ve been allowed to touch a friends bump.

Mephisto · 15/10/2019 22:20

This reply has been deleted

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Drum2018 · 15/10/2019 22:20

Maybe it's the day that's in it given its Baby Loss Awareness week and on 15th October each year there is a wave of light across the world to honour all our deceased babies. She may have suffered a loss or felt it was insensitive towards others who may have lost a baby.

Babybel90 · 15/10/2019 22:21

I’d say to her that perhaps social media isn’t for her...

I’ve got a friend who constantly post pics of her toddler gushing about how he’s the most gorgeous boy and all the girls love him, personally I think he’s a bit weird looking but I wouldn’t tell her that, I just click like and scroll on because I know it will make her happy to get a like.

sarahjconnor · 15/10/2019 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mankyfourthtoe · 15/10/2019 22:26

She doesn't want to see the things you want to post. She made that clear.
So you're doing her a favour by unfriending her.

NoSauce · 15/10/2019 22:29

Tell her good!!! And go fuck herself up the ass sideways. What a nasty bitch she is!!!!

Jesus wept are you always prone to be this dramatic. You’d think she’d said the OPs baby is going to be ugly or something similarly awful.

OP it wasn’t very tactful of her but honestly don’t get yourself wound up over it, just block her.

nettie434 · 15/10/2019 22:30

Please don’t feel humiliated or anxious, ICareIfYouDont. I think it is lovely that you have shared your baby’s kick and heartbeat. Maybe she feels upset that she is not getting the same attention but that is no excuse for saying something so hurtful.

Almost everyone will be excited for you and your baby and will want to see updates. Just carry on doing them. Try not to let her upset you.

ddl1 · 15/10/2019 22:31

Nasty behaviour. The only excuse that occurs to me is that maybe she is having problems or worries with her own pregnancy, so can't cope with your enthusiastic reporting of yours. Still, she could unfollow or unfriend you without making such an issue of it. I would just ignore it.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 15/10/2019 22:31

I'd unfriend her. Baby loss awareness week isn't an excuse to be a cat to pregnant women

GrumpyHoonMain · 15/10/2019 22:32

I’m guessing other people at work might have said something and that’s why she told you.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 15/10/2019 22:32

Cow or cat as the case may be, mine can be quite evil

HunterAngel · 15/10/2019 22:32

Jesus, just scroll on past if you don’t want to watch it! Why are people so mean?