To have handed these clothes back?

[CymaticPrincess88]

Basically the other day school phoned me to inform me that my DD had a stain on her top, I was aware, it had been washed. It was a rather stubborn stain but it seems a shame to chuck it away when it still has use?

Anyway she offered to give DD a spare top to wear and asked if this was okay to do so. I said if it was an issue then to carry on (in a much politer way than that of course)

Anyway later on that day DD arrives home still in the clearly cursed stained top. Has no idea about any spare tops. the following day she is sent home with a shirt she is told she can keep. I'm a bit at this point, but think no more of it.

Yesterday, she comes home with a bag of uniform bits. It seems that the teachers now think we are some sort of charity case who can't dress their kids. The joke of it is even if I did need these clothes, they're too small.

I'm more upset about the fact that my daughter was handed this bag of clothes in front of the whole class. No subtlety involved at all.

I seethed all night about it and then took them back this morning and handed them over to one of the staff, explaining my reasons above especially being handed them in front of the whole class and I'm now answering questions an 8 year old shouldn't be asking really, or shouldn't have to be asking, such as "Are we poor, mommy?"

Was I unreasonable to hand them back?

[MyDcAreMarvel]

@Wilmalovescake We have to buy school branded polos
No if you have girls you don’t , just put them in pinafores.

[Candymay]

I let my daughter wear a stained uniform shirt. She stains all the pockets with pens as soon as they are opened. She has 10 shirts. Mostly stained. It really doesn’t bother me at all and I don’t think it’s BU to send a child to school like that. Ridiculous to throw shirts away after one wear. My daughter’s teacher was very rude about it too. Not as bad as your one. I’d be livid if I was you. I advise you to write a long email. Let it all out. Then edit it down so it’s not as emotional. Then bloody send it. They’ve got no right to do that to your family and ignore people here who think you’ve done anything wrong.

I think people who desperately want to be seen in a certain way would be horrified by a stained shirt on their child. I would think nothing of a clean shirt stained with pen or paint. Different if it was food or an unwashed garment. My daughter also got permanent paint on her new school cardigan. It now is stained. She wears it just the same. Couldn’t care less and neither could she.

[motortroll]

I would send my child in a stained polo shirt. All their clothes get wrecked at some point! If it's not ripped they can wear it!

[IdentifyasTired]

Mine have sometimes gone to school in lightly stained clothes. It has never worried me. I am also more than happy to be offered second hand uniform!
DD1’s teacher once sent her home in a spare cardigan as hers was wet. When I handed it back she told me to keep it. I was glad to accept!
(We’re not poor or struggling. But why pay out if you don’t have to?) 🤷‍♀️

[LoyaltyBonus]

FWIW tomato based stains disappear in sunlight, even if you have to hang them in front of a window because the sun is being intermittent. It's like magic

[aspoonfulofyourownmedicine]

I haven't RTFT, but try Elbow Grease spray from Home Bargains, it took suncream stains out of my sons clothes that normal washing/stain remover wouldn't shift.

YANBU to hand back the clothing.

[cansu]

Perhaps they were clumsy about it, but the intention was to help. The stain must have looked pretty awful for them to have rang you. I quite often see kids where I work whose parents clearly are struggling or I think so when I see the kids in shoes with holes or no winter coat when it is freezing or tights with enormous holes in them. I also sometimes think of stuff I have at home that would fit the child. I am though more subtle and sometimes claim that it is lost property that hasn't been claimed before the deadline. I think you need to be less cross with school and maybe pay a bit more attention to your kids' uniform.

[FreddyFazbear]

My youngest comes home every day looking as if he's had a fight with ink, yoghurt, paint, glue - and lost. I try to remove stains as much as possible, but no way would I constantly replace pieces of stained uniform. I'd be out a fortune. I already have to replace multiple lost jumpers and then there are all the new trousers because he appears to walk on his knees all day.

I would be really pissed off if his school rang to tell me he had a stain on his shirt. So what? He's seven and he's not in the flipping army.

[Zoflorabore]

I have an 8yr is dd. She is a total scruff at times but her uniform is impeccable. I would be horrified if this happened to us but honesty i wouldn’t send her in with a stained top. Some dc do look scruffy, it’s very sad. My neighbour has 2 dd’s who wear the same clothes all week, greasy hair, dirty etc. She is an alcoholic and a drug user. Everyone has tried to help her.

The school clearly think there is an issue.

[CymaticPrincess88]

I've dug it out of the bin, as I realised I was being short sighted, and started by washing it, then I am going to try the lemon juice tricks etc, so thanks for those.

I apologise sincerely to those I have caused offence to with my choice of words, I was really upset, and while that is no excuse, it doesn't condone what I have said and how I have spoken to people.

Thanks again guys.

[Runningonempty84]

My DDs pinafores hide a multitude of sins. As for DS (6), I try my best, but there seems to be no chance of getting school paint out. Specifically green paint; it's particularly clingy.

[Codywolf]

My DC has some bad stains on their polo tops once ink I think but it was a month before school breaking up for summer
so sent them in those stained tops not a word said I buy new polo tops if needed at the beginning of term

[Eminybob]

When school stops serving tomato sauce based school dinners every bloody day, I’ll stop sending ds in in stained shirts.

[Abracad]

Crikey. If I ditched every top which had a stain on it, I’d be broke. Clothes get stained. So what? Most of the stains are because the children in our school don’t wear overalls for art. Children’s clothes are’t meant to be pristine.

[ny20005]

I would be furious ! My school insist on using cheap markers that stain clothes.

I put my ds in a brand new school branded polo shirt (not supermarket brand) & he came home with 2 black marker stains.

I continue to send him in wearing it. I'm not replacing every T-shirt that he gets permanent marker on.

If they were concerned that you couldn't afford to replace uniform, they should have discreetly discussed with you not handed the child a bag of clothes in front of the whole class

[sturdywiththewordyshakespear]

YANBU OP. Good to see your dds school is hot on the reuse, recycle message (eyeroll). I would absolutely send my dd to school in a clean top that also happens to have a stain on it. I would certainly not replace her top with a new one when she'll be growing out of it in 5 minutes anyway. SO wasteful. Having said all that I'd probably use the stained one slightly in reserve for when she didn't have an unstained one ready but even so, ridiculous.

[WoollyMollyMonkey]

My two often had stains on their shirts in primary school - teachers weren’t good about making the children wear aprons when painting etc and the red and black paint just didn’t wash out, leaving stains. There was no way I was buying new shirts every other week, they’d have to wear what they had, stains or not! Tough.

[Justontherightsideofnormal]

Wow! I work in a school and you would be shocked how some children turn up in the morning. A 50p size stain is no problem at all on a child who is normally presentable.

[wildchild554]

To me theres no problem with a stained shirt, especially at that age, my kids shirts didn't look new for more than a week cause of stains that don't come out and can't be bleached and I certainly won't by new shirts every week for a stain, they're still clean and the teachers know it. But I wouldn't be offended by it as they were trying to help but my kids knows we do struggle anyway.

[jwpetal]

All my kids clothes are gifted and we could buy new, but why? They are fine. White shirts are so impractical and we wash but the school gives black pens non washable to 6 year olds, ridiculous

[Allycat1989]

I'd be fuming if my kids school did this, kids are always getting stains on clothes, especially at their school, they use permanent markers for the white board, if its a really obvious stain in a prominent place I'll chuck it but my dd wears a pinifor dress so only the sleeves and collar are visible on her, even my sons if it's the winter they rarely take their jumper off so a wee stain on the t-shirt under it is no bother. If we had to replace the uniform every time there's a mark on it, it would cost a fortune. I can't believe the school took the time to phone u over a stain, seems like an overreaction. If u don't mind me asking is it a particularly posh school where they are overly sensitive on the uniform? I would ask to see the head and explain how ridiculous they are acting.

[alphajuliet123]

You all need HG mould spray, it's about a fiver. It's the only thing I've found that gets stains out of white tops without the risk of them going yellow or pink as with normal bleach.

[Aunaturalmama]

I would have handed them back and say that we are capable of buying clothing, but didn’t realize a stain was out of the question. That you’ll make sure you buy new clothing regularly if stained are against the rule book. How big was the stain? How fancy is the school? Can you guys afford new clothing?

[Aunaturalmama]

The situation totally seems unreasonable on the schools part. To not even ask you if you needed help or your kids size?

[Ginburee]

I send my children in with stained clothes, the stains are from school products in the first place and it is not friendly to the environment to replace constantly.