To have handed these clothes back?

[CymaticPrincess88]

Basically the other day school phoned me to inform me that my DD had a stain on her top, I was aware, it had been washed. It was a rather stubborn stain but it seems a shame to chuck it away when it still has use?

Anyway she offered to give DD a spare top to wear and asked if this was okay to do so. I said if it was an issue then to carry on (in a much politer way than that of course)

Anyway later on that day DD arrives home still in the clearly cursed stained top. Has no idea about any spare tops. the following day she is sent home with a shirt she is told she can keep. I'm a bit at this point, but think no more of it.

Yesterday, she comes home with a bag of uniform bits. It seems that the teachers now think we are some sort of charity case who can't dress their kids. The joke of it is even if I did need these clothes, they're too small.

I'm more upset about the fact that my daughter was handed this bag of clothes in front of the whole class. No subtlety involved at all.

I seethed all night about it and then took them back this morning and handed them over to one of the staff, explaining my reasons above especially being handed them in front of the whole class and I'm now answering questions an 8 year old shouldn't be asking really, or shouldn't have to be asking, such as "Are we poor, mommy?"

Was I unreasonable to hand them back?

[CottonSock]

Kids clothes stain..mine still wear them. They don't care, neither do I.
The planet will thank us for less bleach and buying of more stuff.

[diddl]

It seems rather an overreaction for one time of wearing a stained top!

I remember having to wear a stained top as nothing else was ready, but it was hidden under my jumper, fortunately!

[beckyvardy]

I used to work for surf and when we were patch testing for bleach damage from the product, we used to make a paste of the powder detergent with water and leave it on a part of the clothing to see it if did create the bleach damage.

Works a treat on stains on white polos but it has to be the biological powder to get the best results.

[NearlyGranny]

OP, don't miss the chance to do some green virtue-signalling unless you drive a tank! 😉

[SimonJT]

I would have done exactly the same.

My son is in reception, every single one of his blue shirts already has some sort of stain. If I replaced them each time they became stained I might as well draw money out the bank and set it on fire.

It would also be helpful if his school used washable pens and paints.

[Timeywimey10]

It’s very easy to get stains out of white clothing, you just bleach it! That’s the best thing about white clothes

If only. I have a white top with a small stain on it (which I am wearing today, slattern that I am, but with a scarf over the offending bit). I have tried getting rid of the stain about four times.

I think there are stains and stains, but it's not very eco-friendly to throw out a perfectly decent item of clothing because it has a stain on it.

[diddl]

If it was ketchup, was it from a meal at school?

Obviously that can't be avoided, although stains from food at home can!

[TurkeyDoubts]

My daughter has an ink stain all down her school shirt.
She has 3 of them and I'm not taking it out of rotation. Her cardigan covers it and it happened during school hours in art!

She will be wearing it till she finishes with the whole set. Doesn't bother her a bit.

[Wilmalovescake]

Wel jel of those of you who can just buy a £2 polo or jumper from Sainsbury’s. We have to buy school branded polos, cardigans and jumpers. So basically mine are wearing them till they fall off. Sod a small stubborn stain!

[Ihateedmundelephant]

You were unreasonable to be angry with them for trying to do a nice thing. I hope you were polite and not stroppy about it.

[Mephisto]

@Timeywimey10 have you tried a hot wash with a bit of bleach added to the washing machine?

Have you tried spraying on Dettol Mould and Mildew remover on the stain?

Those methods have always worked for me!

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

I send my DS to school in uniform with stubborn stains like ink, paint and so on.
It's all clean uniform, he's one of those children who comes home dirty every day. There's no way I am wasting money and resources on new uniform until it is really beyond passable.
I'd say thanks but no thanks to the school, and hae a laugh about it with DD.

[Notgoodatchoosingnames]

Wow. I am clearly a bad mum. My DS spent a lot of time last term with a stained polo as he'd got something green on it (at school!) and it wouldn't come out. I only sent him in it when the weather was rubbish and hopefully he'd keep his jumper on but school polos get stained all the time at school and no one bats an eyelid at our school when kids keep wearing them!
I'd be annoyed if our school did this.

[Stravapalava]

This is the joys of girls - if the stain can be hidden by a pinafore dress, damn right I'm not chucking it!

[miaCara]

You are right .They do see you as being in need and if you are not you should have the conversation with them to out them right. If they have stuff to give away it should be properly targeted

I remember being about the same age and being handed a box of 'charitable items' by the head nun of our school. It was because we were poor and another baby meant more mouths to feed. I understood that but was still absolutely mortified to have to leave school holding the box. Plus what was in it was less quality than we would normally have bought. This was long before food banks or anything like it .It still rankles.

Your childs school should not have sent anything home with the child. They should have approached you and sensitively asked if you need help and only then provided some extra uniform suitable for your child.
When I was working in a school we were told not do assume anything about a childs home circumstances and certainly never do anything against the home culture or that would call that culture into question. I wonder whats changed?

Oh - and yes sunlight gets a lot of biological stains out given time.

[gingersausage]

I can’t believe people are chucking out endless polo shirts or wasting time and money buying stain removers in case their kids look “poor”. You must have more money than sense! Mind you, schools who insist on white tops are daft anyway. Mine wore burgundy in the infants and navy in the juniors. Much more serviceable colours.

[SallyWD]

Blimey! My kids uniforms are covered in pen marks and stains. I used to worry until I saw it was the same for all the other kids. I've worked in a school (in a wealthy area) and the kids clothes were absolutely covered in stains. I'm really surprised your school noticed and felt it was a problem. I used to buy my kids new uniform when they got stained but within in a few days they'd be stained again.

[gerbo]

How strange of the school to do that! I'd feel the same, OP.

My ds is 9 and by summer term his polos have picked up the odd pen/paint/marker stain. Really no big deal! His clothes are washed after each wear and he goes to school clean each day. A tiny polo shirt stain is certainly not going to affect his school work or happiness!

If the stain was huge, I'd replace.

However, I think it would be silly and environmentally careless to start bathing everything in bleach or chucking it away for a tiny stain!

Do people really do this? Are their children so very pristine?! Bizarre. Better to focus on their actual learning.

I agree with you OP. I'm also a teacher and wouldn't hand out 'free' clothes so thoughtlessly, very tactlessly done by your school.

[StarlingsInSummer]

beckyvardy are you being serious. Day 2 back at school after the six weeks holiday. My dd had permanent marker on the back of her tshirt. If I replaced her tshirt everytime they got stained, I'd be buying them every few days!

This! DS started reception this September and has already got stubborn felt tip marks on two of his sweatshirts. I could afford to replace them but I’m not going to, he’s bound to do it again! And there’s nothing wrong with them aside from a bit of felt tip. How wasteful to chuck them away!

[Londonmummy66]

A few years ago DD's class did those night sky silhouette pictures in art. They all got the black paint on their pastel candy-striped uniform dresses. It didn't wash out - there was some very strategic juggling around before the school photo to hide the mess their uniforms were in.

[LushyMcLushFace]

DS2's polo shirts are a disgrace already. I refuse to buy any more until half term.

[ColdRainAgain]

If I binned every shirt that came hone with a stain that didnt wash out, I need to buy about 100 for the year!

Marker pen, tomato based sauces, "washable paint" are all fair game imo.

The clothes are no use to you. Handing them back means they can go to someone who might really need them.

YWNBU

[StarlingsInSummer]

And his uniform tops are red so bleach isn’t going to work! I must admit, I’m not too impressed that they have felt tips that can make permanent marks, when they’re in reception.

[ALemonyPea]

I'd send them back and speak to the teacher about how you don't need them.

Have you tried soaking them in diluted Milton sterilising fluid? Gets any stain right out and whitens them back up. Only works on plain white tops though, strips the colour right out of badges if they're on on the top (speaking through bitter experience)

[ColdRainAgain]

@Mephisto those methods only work on white shirts!!
Sunshine was my best weapon. A bit lacking currently!