You can just go chong a dong you lil charmer you (Lunch Dramas)

[Amelia2000]

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3714806-AIBU-over-non-paying-colleague-Lunch-dramas

As yet, still waiting for B to pay the remaining £11.

I have commandeered it as my new phrase. I think it's quite versatile, can be used in pretty much all situations, so I've taken it on into my vocabulary.

So the remaining £11 is for October's lunches and will be paid at the end of the month 'as normal' (or whatever she said on your last thread)? She is really messing you about now...

She's such a bitch. Can't believe how she's being about this - so passive aggressive and demanding things her way. Be firm Op!

Agree the text you have drafted is too waffly and fluffy.

Direct short sentences!!!

Are there really people out there living normal lives who don't have online banking / can't transfer money into an account? I get that there are people who don't want to, for whatever reason, but can't? Really? There's always loads of them on CF threads on here.

She really is a spectacular cunt, isn't she?

Shocked that she hasn't paid the full debt.

@Amelia2000 I agree your text is too nice, id with @DarlingNikita response. I can’t believe she didn’t send the full amount...cheeky bitch

I would prepare yourself for another flounce from her when you ask for the £11 OP!

Everyone needs to stop saying ‘chong a dong’ or my sniggering is going to wake the baby!

I am going to send a text to her in a minute. Along the lines of "Hi B, hope all is OK today, we didn't know you were off? Thanks for sending over last months £24 for lunch, but as I mentioned on Friday, all lunches will need to be paid upfront from now on. So please can you bring in/transfer the remaining £11 and then make sure you bring some ££ for this Fridays order if you still wish to participate! Thanks x"

Sappy AF! The 'thanks' 'hope you're okay' and 'please'. What the fuck? This person has effectively stolen from you! She owes you money! She is not doing you a favour by paying it back (two weeks late, after you've had to chase and chase her!). Stop pandering to her. It's not rude or confrontational or unkind to be factual. Stop sending her private texts, etc.

Quite honestly, since you know she's going to make a fuss on Friday if you don't buy her a fucking lunch, and you know now she has no intention of settling up her full debt and has basically told you that you will do things her way and pay for her as she is more special than the others, I'd stop doing them altogether because you're a total mug to allow her to pitch a fit so you buy her lunch when she's a cunt who knows exactly what she's playing at.

And HR have advised you to stop them. I think it's really prudent having heard that from them that you stop placing them.

They'll all know it's her, but well, she comes out looking like the twat she is.

'Hi, B. Received £24 from you today. There is, however, still £11 outstanding with is due immediately, I am not in a position to buy lunches for others. As you have my details, I await payment.x'

And then tell the rest of the group there will be no more lunches.

It needs to stop because you know she's going to try to bully you and cause a scene in front of the directors and you have been advised to cut them out.

Wow! B- iatch is a calculating CF for sure. She arranged her leave for today and cheekily snuck another lunch that day so she can just fuck off today ir this week on her leave, eh?

She knows what she is doing. Please do yourself a favour OP and don8send her the text you wrote. Take one of the other PP's format instead. Why are you thanking someone for paying you YOUR money AFTER so much angst has gone into it, YET didn't pay you fully!

Arrrgh! The CFuckery is too dammed high and will continue to be if you keep on being too flowery nice!

Have you given her a time limit of when to pay the remaining balance or just sometime before Friday? I have a horrible feeling she's going to ask to pay that £11 and this Friday's money at the end of the month with the remaining month's lunch fee. I wouldn't be surprised at least, she seems to not grasp how much this puts you out.

Its difficult to be abrupt when it's a close colleague though, isn't it?

I thought OP's text was nicely balanced. But I'm a sap too....

And in the future, never, ever, ever place an order in a setting like this without getting the payment first. It's just a hornet's nest in a work setting and different from personal among friends. If you start something like this again, and I'd advise against that, then you state clearly from the outset that you can only order for those who pay at the time of ordering, no exceptions.

She is a CF and so petty!!

Why does she think you will still involve her?!

I thought the text was fine as well. She’s being a cow, but it’s always better to be the bigger person. OP is right to not want conflict with a colleague; it’s horrible if there’s issues with someone you work with.

There’s a big difference between being nice, and letting someone get away with murder. You can be nice AND firm. The proposed message still sets out the boundaries. She’s not Rambo.

.

@Amelia2000 as per @CurlyWurlyTwirly’s post, please tell us what it is you actually all have to eat. Do you have the same every week or do you change it up a bit? Now that the money side of things has been (partially) resolves, this is the next big question!

OP, firstly, well done for taking MadameTwatFace's ridiculously pathetic comments so well. I think it's best if we all collectively ignore her hereafter as clearly she has nothing of value to say.

As for this situation, CF's have no limits. I have been in a position like this before, you give someone a hand and they want the whole arm and then some.

Even if she gives the further £11 I would honestly advise you disregard her from the lunches hereafter. You can make it clear to her that because of the past experience you have no confidence in her and do not need the hassle. I don't think the rest of you should miss out because of her entitled behaviour.

Its difficult to be abrupt when it's a close colleague though, isn't it?
Not when they've shown you who they really are, no.

Osirus, the text I and others suggest is firm but not unpleasant. The OP's is a bit crawling ('hope all is OK') and the 'thanks for sending the money' thing she'll just take as carte blanche to keep underpaying or paying late.

Thread 2 ...this is so addictive...

Personally I would just say received £x today - thanks, but the amount owed was £y. Please can you forward the difference ASAP.

I would keep it ultra polite and factual.

I wouldn't get into 'or no lunch'. You've made that plain on Friday. You just need to stick to it 😀

If she doesn't pay up she will have to face being excluded on a Friday which she desperately doesn't want.

She is going to bitch, moan and sulk but she will pay up unless she is going to take every Friday off from now on!

I would encourage people to be kind to her, - why do I never meet people like this? People who actively like to lend money, don't mind never getting it back, and in fact (as evidenced on the pregnant-drink-thief thread) will actually buy me a present for being pregnant/ being a thief being a CF.

Maybe, because I am not a fucking thief/brass bollocked CF, I wouldn't notice them if I fell over them?

OP don’t send any text. You’re coming across as a pushover and that’s exactly why she has pushed it so far already.

She knows the score. She knows she needs to pay £11. Don’t send her any more begging texts. Don’t give her any more reminders. (You don’t need the £11 urgently right?) On Friday you do the food order (you do it- no-one else) for everyone else who has paid. If she pipes up you remind her that she still owes £11 and can’t order until she is up to date including what she is ordering now. Make no apologies, give no reasons as to why you need the money up front. Thems the rules now- you don’t need to justify them to anyone. She can like it or lump it but she’s getting no food until it’s all paid for.