To try to have a baby at 43 with a big age gap

[whysh]

1 dc. Would love another but very worried about

Being too old (have had one miscarriage already last year which was horrible)
Too much of age gap between dcs
Would be like having 2 onlies if it happens
Baby could end up with health problems
Would be 61 at dc2 18th birthday!

On paper ( head) I know AIBU but my heart says please try ...

Could you cope with worse case scenario? I couldn’t

You'll only regret not trying! Good luck :)

How big an age gap

YANBU but make sure it's truly your heart and not your hormones... Things can go a little bonkers at this age.

Similar age and can't think of anything worse than sleepless nights, backache and little one perpetually bringing home bugs all over again!

I had a 23years age gap between my Dd's.
I was 38 when I had Dd2.

Big age gap had been great here!

Go for it

7 years@Pagwatch

Good point @ThreeLittleDots I think my hormones are playing a large part in this!

15 year age gap

Loving it! Makes me appreciate every step so much this time round

7 years is not massive. We have 11 years and they are definitely siblings. Not only dc. Do whatever works for you and your family. Good luck.

Are you around ovulation time by any chance when having these thoughts?!

7 years is just beyond the average age gap. Enough to establish a sibling relationship without the rivalry of the preschoolers. My brothers are 11 and 13 years younger than me.

As long as you are aware of the potential risks and willing to take them on, then good luck.

Had my youngest at 40. They're now 1, 7 and 12. She's the apple of all our eyes and worth every bit of missed sleep

Go for it!! And definitely not too old.

Good luck

Friend of mine has just done this. Her DDs are aged 13, 11 and 6 weeks. Actually, DD’s teacher has just come back from mat leave. Her DC are 16, 14 and 1.

Gordon Ramsay is in Jonathan Ross Dhoe just now, he and his wife are having their 5th after a 16 year gap.

Id be too nervous to have a child with additional needs and the impact that would then have on your first child. I think the risks out weigh the benefits at that age with children already in the mix. If you didn't have children already I'd say go for it.

“Dhoe” - Show!

Anyway, YANBU at all!

28 year age gap

I’ve got two age gaps of about that between my four (plus a very small age gap). I wouldn’t concern yourself about that aspect at all.

You don’t have much time to deliberate, though.

Choose head over heart every, single, time!

Too many people have babies because they feel broody or just because they want one! They’re not good enough reasons by themselves!

Too many people have babies because they feel broody or just because they want one! They’re not good enough reasons by themselves!

What would you consider a good reason?

I had a baby at 40 - 10 years after my eldest and six half after my second.

It worked fine
My youngest struggled a bit when the biggest went to uni but that it.
Yes, they have had to work to find things in common at times but now go to concerts together etc
60 isn’t as old as you think either - as long as you don’t want to do that ‘best friend’ thing it’s not a problem. If you are unfit it’s harder but if not there’s not much difference from being a parent a decade younger

We seem ancient to everyone under 20 as soon as we pass 30

I'm 42. My dd is 5. Dp and I are just deciding whether to take the plunge. The age gap wouldn't stop me. Yes it would be nice to have them close together but I don't have a time machine. The thing that's stopping me is whether I can handle working full time with 2 kids.

The 61 and 18 would be the biggest issue for me.

Menopause and a teenager!

No thanks

I don't think 61 and 18 would be an issue at all, or the age gap - just make sure you're clear in your head for the reasons you're doing it