To feel irritated by this Facebook post?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I know, people can post what they want and I can just scroll past. But this has really annoyed me today.

I think it's safe to say people are very aware of the benefits of breast feeding, but sometimes it just isn't possible to do.

In my case, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and I physically couldn't feed her. Then I read crap like this and it just reminds me of my failure to do something I really wanted to.

So, I guess my AIBU is does this kind of virtue signalling rubbish posted on Facebook actually have any benefit, or is it just there to make the poster feel good and people like me feel bad?

It's a pile of old shit

I wish some people would put as much effort into what and how much they feed their kids from weaning stage onwards.

Perhaps then childhood obesity wouldn't be such a problem.

Not much point in feeding them 'liquid gold' and then letting them get fat by the time they start/leave primary school.

There’s a lot of projection on this thread... Also that article for pharmacists is a really good one so not sure what the problem is there.
I live in Ireland and we have a very strong formula lobby here as a lot of formula is produced in Ireland.
In the hospital where I had my second child I was encouraged by a nurse to give my child some formula a few hours old to get his bowels moving and they actually gave out bottles.!!
The level of ignorance about breastfeeding here is staggering, I never see women breastfeed here, at any baby weigh clinics the babies were all bottle fed and it didn’t look like expressed milk. The fact is even on sight there is a physical difference between breastfed and formula babies, the latter generally being a lot bigger as it’s a fact they put on weight quicker on formula.
Human milk for a human baby is obviously a lot better than highly processed cow milk. The fact is some people can’t breastfeed due to medical issues and some people don’t want to but if the amount of people who say they can’t breastfeed was actually true the human race would have died out a long time ago. Apart from rare medical reasons to stop someone naturally feeding a baby there’s obviously a lack of support and basic education about breastfeeding. The common thing here for women to say is that they didn’t make enough milk and the baby was too hungry , I have heard this so many times in Ireland. Unless you are malnourished or a much older mother it’s highly unlikely that you won’t make enough milk for your baby.
I don’t judge people for how they feed their babies but I do judge people who can’t handle hearing some facts about breastfeeding and it’s benefits.
All these anecdotes mean absolutely nothing , lots of my family smoked heavily and lived to a great age without ever having even a slight cough, do I deduct from that the connection between smoking and lung cancer is all crap, of course not .
A child’s brain develops and grows a lot in the first couple of years of it’s life, the nutrition they receive is paramount to its development, that’s a fact, children who are formula fed from birth are more likely to gain weight and be obese in later life, that’s also a fact, breast milk contains antibodies that protect a baby from infection, that’s a fact, breastfeeding lowers rates of breast cancer, that’s a fact, breastfed babies retain a reaction called natural arrosal at night meaning they wake more easily if their heart rate lowers , struggle to breath etc meaning there is lower rates of cot death amongst breastfed babies, that’s also a fact. It’s science and statistics.
The person who posted that image has gone over-board but there is truth is some of the points and the truth is making some the OP and obviously others uncomfortable. People go on the attack when they get defensive and so you can see that with the really strong language and cringey anecdotes of how it’s all bollocks and their formula fed child is now the brightest , multi talented etc etc and so all the science and nature behind breastfeeding must be wrong or at least massively undermined.
Women should be supported a lot more with breastfeeding and there should be more education on the many challenges that can arise and how to address them and going forward maybe we could have a more enlightened , natural approach to feeding our babies and less of the competitive misery and the utterly pointless anecdotes here.

My two girls were exclusively formula fed. I didn’t want to breastfeed them. They are happy and healthy. No allergies. Good hair 😜. When I see blatant goady fuckery like this, I laugh and move on.

I wish some people would put as much effort into what and how much they feed their kids from weaning stage onwards

This this this this this.

This.

lowandbetold

What a nasty post.

Totally agree with pp who said this isn't aimed at you!

People who breastfeed into toddlerhood often feel embarrassed as most people don't understand how they could want to, and there is a lot of disapproval from family and friends.

This is their way of saying, see this is why I do it, there are benefits! And also some of the sacrifices that they have probably made (eg sleep) have been worth it. But none of this is to shame mothers who aren't in their position, it's to make themselves feel better

@Bellasblankexpression I did say most people don't care and this has been my experience. I'm sorry you have so many busy-bodies in your life! Enjoy your baby when they arrive and take other people's opinions with a pinch of salt (unless you ask for them of course!) :)

It's just an attempt to make women who feed toddlers feel more normal/benefitted when the rest of society doesn't. 🤷

I hate this bullshit. Judgey nonsense.

And I'm somebody who DID breastfeed til DC were toddlers. Have serious doubts that it makes all that much difference to health. My two have had several ear infections and a fair amount of sick bugs and the usual.

It's actually the sort of thing that seems so important when they are tiny but later on who honestly gives a shit? Fed is best.

@yummychoccy but how many of those points are scientifically backed and factual?

Lowandbetold2

What an excellent, excellent post!!!!

I bf my first child and then had to make the decision to have an elective double mastectomy at 28. I had my second child after my mastectomy and have been made to feel guilty about not breast feeding by a lot of people even though I physically have no boobs! @june2007 FYI I couldn't "just express"!

point out all the ways their breastfed child is superior. no one cares that she’s breastfeeding

Actually when you are feeding past a few months let alone a year or more, everyone has an opinion, mainly to tell you that you are a selfish person who is doing it purely for your own benefit. So whilst not superior it does address the 'no benefit to bf' mantra that gets uttered. That post is aimed at everyone who does stick their nose in.

Anyway, I quite happily say it was for my benefit. Studies have shown that the longer you accumulatively feed for the more your risk of breast cancer is reduced. I have probably gone some way to bring my elevated risk down to normal levels. Yippee to selfish old me.

I think people get a lot of stick for breastfeeding into toddlerhood to be honest and when you see something that says it’s beneficial etc it can make you feel better about it.

I think most sensible people don’t judge people negatively at all for breastfeeding toddlers - but they, including me, will massively judge someone negatively for posting such unintelligent, smug and quite frankly tasteless (‘glossier hair’ ‘more supple skin’? Really??) bullshit on Facebook...

Also re the glossier hair point.
By toddler age most nutrition will come from solid food.
How can they account for the variables of a toddlers diet to prove this point?
Perhaps mothers who breastfeed toddlers are generally more health conscious, and so the protein comes from solids in the family meals they prepare. Hence glossier hair.
Therefore, the effect may be the same for a mother who is equally health conscious, but had to (or wanted to) formula feed her toddler.

I'd also unfriend someone who posted tripe like that - and I used to be a breastfeeding counsellor.

yummychoccy

It's to make themselves feel better

And in the process, making others feel shit.

I really don't think it was nasty Quaffy.

It’s not remotely nasty. It’s factual.
OP this poster isn’t meant to offend you, it’s probably a woman proud of what she feels is an achievement and celebrating it a bit. There is still stigma in breastfeeding a toddler. I’m not from a western culture and breastfeeding is just a usual thing where I am from and breastfeeding into toddlerhood is completely normal and no one would look twice! Seems to be massive problems with it in Ireland and the Uk and a lack of education. Not being able for medical reasons is completely separate to the many who just don’t want to and that is their choice but the dismissal of the facts is a problem.
Many posters have described the image as “utter crap” and many other horrible words which is in fact “nasty”.

Whilst I do personally cringe at these types of posts (covering multiple themes) I think it’s unreasonable to take issue.

People seem all too readily to take issue these days IMO. Mother’s Day is objectionable to some who didn’t grow up with a mum or whom can’t conceive. Fathers Day is objectionable to some who don’t have a dad in their lives or their ex-partners are crap. Using the words “Merry Christmas” and not “Seasons Greetings” is objectionable to some who perceive it to be all about Christianity. Etc.

Before anyone flames me I’m not saying tact and sensitivity is not required in SOME situations (eg in a primary school classroom planning to make Mother’s Day cards when there is a child who’s mum died is not a good move). However I don’t believe a generic FB post on someone’s feed fits into that criteria. It’s a generic post not intended to critique you or your situation/choices.

Thanks crispysausagerolls

Don't be bothered by how others feed their babes and children.

But don't expect them not to be proud of what they do just in case it offends someone.

Support more women to breastfeed so we can have a more “natural” and “enlightened” approach to breastfeeding? People who say they didn’t produce enough milk are wrong? People are just uncomfortable because they can’t handle the truth?

Unless I’m misunderstanding the meaning of the post, I’ll stick by my initial assessment.

And incidentally while it may be a fact breastfed babies are less likely to be obese, it is far from established fact that this is because they were breastfed.

Lowandbetold2
I didn’t breastfeed for very long as it was too difficult and I had too many obstacles.

But I have never argued with the ‘facts’, that breastfeeding is better for baby in terms of immunity, possible reduced risk of childhood obesity, eczema and asthma. And better for mums as reduced risk of certain cancers.
But just because I don’t believe some utter rubbish about breastfed toddlers having nicer hair, is nothing to do with my own defensiveness. It’s simply because most of the ‘facts’ on that sheet ain’t true.
Unless you can point me in the way of some evidence based research, about these glossy haired, smooth skinned, non fussy eating toddlers?