To feel irritated by this Facebook post?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I know, people can post what they want and I can just scroll past. But this has really annoyed me today.

I think it's safe to say people are very aware of the benefits of breast feeding, but sometimes it just isn't possible to do.

In my case, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and I physically couldn't feed her. Then I read crap like this and it just reminds me of my failure to do something I really wanted to.

So, I guess my AIBU is does this kind of virtue signalling rubbish posted on Facebook actually have any benefit, or is it just there to make the poster feel good and people like me feel bad?

Oh and bottle fed baby 3 (now 21) works in IT as well as being at London University, drives, has a car, has house shared since he was 17 , and all without A levels-- so don't give me the 'intelligence' rubbish, other aspects come into play with intelligence.

Still feeding an almost 3y old just once for a minute at night and when reading that poster think what a load of xxxx don’t know who it’s meant to impress. Think most posts on Facebook can be upsetting in many ways ☹️

This irritates me and I exclusively BFed all three of mine. Btw, one has eczema, they are all of average intelligence, one has a cat allergy, all are under average height (inherited as both DH and I are shorties). Basically, you can’t tell them apart from their peers BFed or not.

I'm breastfeeding but I struggle. To be honest, I think this kind of bullshit with fake science puts me off going to BF groups because I'm a scientist and I hate false claims that aren't supported by evidence. It makes me suspicious and makes me feel like I'm stupid and gullible for going through all this pain and stress trying to BF for the last 2.5 months. If breastfeeding is better, why do people need to shout so loudly about it all the time?

Meh!
I see why you are upset, my breastfeeding didn’t work out either time for different reasons.
Breastfeeding is best. No doubt about that, it is true and I don’t live in denial just because it didn’t work out for me.
However most of the claims on that don’t have much of an evidence base behind them.
Breastfed toddlers have glossier hair.
What a load of shit!
I’d be curious to see the ‘evidence’ and ‘research’ that claim is from.

I think there’s so much pressure on women to breast feed now that it can make you feel like a failure if you can’t like OP said so you’re going to be more sensitive to these kinds of posts anyway.

I think the post is cringeworthy personally and actually smacks of insecurity.

In my circle of friends all the BF kids have allergies, are fussy eaters and terrible eaters. All anecdotal of course and most likely purely coincidence but one of the friends who formula feeds uses this as “evidence” that the benefits lauded around for breast feeding are just nonsense. I don’t agree with that either.

Ok so a lot of those facts sound pretty dodgy, but the many people on this thread claiming it is a load of bollocks because it doesn't match their child have totally missed the point. If there really is a scientific study somewhere showing that bf toddlers have glossier hair, it won't say "and therefore we prove that every bf toddler everywhere has hair like a pantene advert". It will show that on average, bf toddlers have (possibly very slightly - a change does not have to be big to be statistically significant) glossier hair than ff toddlers. This will still allow for ff toddlers having amazing hair and bf toddlers having crap hair without "disproving" the theory. Same for immune systems and intelligence - your bf toddler who is always ill absolutely does not mean that bf doesn't ON AVERAGE lead to fewer illnesses.

I can see where they're going with this, however crass it may be. I bf two toddlers and got endless questions about why, there's no benefit any more, you're just doing it for yourself. An attitude which is fairly prevalent even on Mumsnet and has already appeared on this thread.

OP - I work with teenagers and I can absolutely promise you I couldn't tell which child was breastfed and which was bottle fed. Because you know what? It doesn't bloody well matter.

Fed is best.

I wouldn't be surprised if images like this were made by formula companies to be honest

Yanbu! And I say that as someone who did feed their child to toddlerhood (dd to about 18 months, ds until three and a half - and I struggled immensely both times to start with). I would think anyone sharing such bollocks is a twat, trying to make themselves feel superior to others for some reason

I think some of this is bullshit (better hair!?) and on a population level rather than individual so isn't directed at individuals (eg my breastfed toddler is the fussiest eater ever).

However I do think you're taking it personally. If you breastfeed after 6 months (which only a very small proportion of the population do) you get constantly questioned about when you're going to stop, people accusing you of child abuse as your toddler might remember when they are older, 'bitty' jokes etc...its actually pretty horrible but for some reason it is seen as acceptable to pick on mums who do extended breastfeeding (or more accurately breastfeed to term)

I'd say it is more likely to be a (maybe slightly misguided) attempt to make those mums feel a bit better about their choices that they are always getting shit for, rather than an attempt to make non breastfeeding mums feel anything

It's absolutely ridiculous. I think you should console yourself with the knowledge that anyone who believes all the crap written there is clearly a fuckwit. Smoother, more supple skin FFS

I breastfed for 6 weeks, but I didn't enjoy my baby, at all, until I stopped.

I honestly don't think making myself carry on would have been better for him, although I felt at lot of guilt about it at the time.

Today I have a 6'3" 18yo with Alevels, strong social skills, good mental and physical health, a lovely sunny nature and a full time job. It can't have been all bad. If I'd carried on "hating" him they way I did when all he wanted from me was food, all the time, I doubt things would be so good.

Take no notice.

I don’t have loads of reasons why I couldn’t breastfeed.

I just didn’t want too.

It wasn’t for me and didn’t feel right.

@EveryoneButSam but that's not how science works. What's happened is someone somewhere has ascribed false syllogism (a logical fallacy to be avoided in scientific studies) by saying "BF babies get more protein, hair is made of protein, therefore BF babies have glossier hair." That's not supported by the evidence (which only says "BF babies get more protein").

DD1 I bottle fed she’s my angel.

DDs 2&3 I breastfed they are evil.

My correlative scientific evidence is Bottle is best 😂

I breastfed my 2 DCs until 18 months.

But they lost me at "mummie's milk".

Don't worry about others OP - I can promise you that most BFing mothers aren't trying to make other mums feel shit. Just the odd BFing brigade ones about.

Of course you can't tell in a school who was breastfed and not. No breastfeeding 'propaganda' has ever said that's the case. Studies do show that breastfed babies are hospitalised less and have to go to the doctors less with gastrointestinal infections or ear infections. How would that translate into being able to tell which kids were breast or bottle fed at school? You cant tell anyone's medical history in baby or toddler hood just by looking!

I got a lot of negative comments because I could not feed my FB - basically because he was in hospital for 3 months - I did express using a machine and managed to feed him a little when he came home . my second had an un- diagnosed tongue tie - so I partly breast fed but mainly bottle fed . I don't think anyone should feel guilty for their choices , however I think there should be more help for those who want to breast feed but have problems - but then don't make them feel guilty if it does not work out . There does seem to be something wrong with the support that women get at the moment - but guilt should never come into it .

Meh I couldn't get upset about it. Human milk is best for a baby/young toddler if it can be done, but formula is fine too. Some people feel strongly about it, but most people don't even know/care how another person's child is fed.

I breastfed my son for a year. He is allergic to many many things, including medicines and most animals. He is now a teenager and has recently developed bad acne across his forehead and nose. I always moan to my mum that I did as recommended and he hasn't benefitted!!!

I'm so sick to death of militant BF.
I'm EBF my third. None of them have ever had formula.
If you put three of mine next to three formula fed babies nobody on the planet would be able to tell the difference.

I BF because it's easier, cheaper and most importantly I don't have to get out of bed when it's winter and cold.

I'm sick of the way that on the BF groups they screen shot pictures of newborns being bottle fed and post about how devastated they are.
I'm sick of the way that they treat Formula companies and bottle makers like thy are in line with the Nazis.

They want to normalise BF? Then chill the fuck out and BF.

@samosaurus actually a lot of women who BF DO seem to care when other people FF their children in my experience. I’ve not even had my baby yet and I’ve been pressured by several friends who are quiet aggressive in their stance tbh. Obviously that may not be a general representation and I think it also depends on where you live as the percentage of BF babies varies greatly, but it’s been a bit of an eye opener.

gettingdesperatenow

I think that’s the crux of it. On a societal level there are benefits to breastfeeding and they are pretty well evidenced. If everyone breastfeeds there will be fewer inner ear infections for example. Breast milk is fabulous and women who want to try to breastfeed should be supported, and are allowed to be proud if they succeed (cluster feeding is not easy!)

However some people extrapolate that into saying that an individual child will do better if breastfed than if they were formula fed and that is far less well evidenced. The studies don’t account for selection into breastfeeding and in fact sibling studies which purport to take this into account show no significant benefit.

I think that’s what people are getting at by saying you can’t tell who is breastfed and who isn’t when they’re at school. Breastfeeding is great for all sorts of reasons but I think the benefits to an individual child are overstated.

op your DD had a cleft palate...but you say that YOU FAILED at feeding?

You certainly have a problem, but I don't think this facebook post is it.....for the sake of yourself and eveyone else, I suggest you find a way to understand that you didn't fail at anything!