To feel irritated by this Facebook post?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I know, people can post what they want and I can just scroll past. But this has really annoyed me today.

I think it's safe to say people are very aware of the benefits of breast feeding, but sometimes it just isn't possible to do.

In my case, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and I physically couldn't feed her. Then I read crap like this and it just reminds me of my failure to do something I really wanted to.

So, I guess my AIBU is does this kind of virtue signalling rubbish posted on Facebook actually have any benefit, or is it just there to make the poster feel good and people like me feel bad?

No one has ever made me feel guilty for FF either. It’s not something I feel in the least bit ashamed of so why would I feel guilty?

BF or FF is significantly more emotive than living in the country or city, and those living in cities aren’t bombarded with the “country is best” message, and every time they visit the baby clinic have to look at posters ramming home all the ways they apparently aren’t giving their baby the best start in life

Yes, that's exactly my point (well, one of them).

Both BFing and living away from pollution are, objectively, best for DC. But women aren't under enormous pressure to escape pollution or made to constantly feel guilty for not doing so. (Why not? Could it be because then men would have the finger pointed at them too, and we can't have that now, can we? )

Breathing in fresh air is objectively better than breathing in fumes. No one would say "breathing is best", though, would they?

Pretending that there's no difference between BF and FF is just lying to ourselves IMO.

But - context is important. I'd hazard a guess that living in polluted cities is probably a lot more harmful than not BFing anyway?

The ear part made me chuckle. Dd2 was BF until 22 months and had recurrent ear infections. Dd1 was only exclusively BF for 3 months and mixed fed until 7 months. She’s never had an ear infection in her life!

Also dd2 was not more cognitively advanced than dd1, If anything dd1 had the edge.

Yes breast is best in an ideal world, but what’s on that post is a load of over the top twaddle!

On an individual level there is very little difference though. All I considered was my children as individuals when I made my decision. It wasn’t worth it. They thrived on formula. You wouldn’t look at them now and say “gosh her hair would be glossier if only she had been breastfed”. The fact is you absolutely wouldn’t know whether or not they had been breastfed.

It just does not matter.

However I am very careful and conscious about what I feed my kids now. Which I would wager is more than can be said for some of the militant breast feeders who are still banging on about it when their kids are in university

I breastfed most of my 5DC. 1 & 2 till 6 months, 3rd till she was 1, 4th for 3 months but I couldn’t with the last and constantly, constantly felt like a failure. Midwife and HV both total breastfeeding Nazis who kept on and on when he was actually losing too much weight, to the point when I had to secretly introduce formula at 2 weeks so I could pretend my milk had finally come in and they finally shut up.

But there is no difference between any of my children. They’re all healthy, happy, doing well at school/uni. All have shiny hair and lovely skin. Except - my 3rd who was breastfed for a year is shortly to have her tonsils removed because she has endless problems with them. She’s also had lots of ear infections over the years and problems with her periods.

Riddle me that, smug twats.

Well I breastfed my 3 year old until she was 18 months. She is the fussiest eater ever, won't go near a vegetable. She is slightly podgy round the middle, has hair like cousin It on crack and can never hear me when I tell her to do something. Maybe I have faulty breasts?! Or maybe this is rubbish and people should just let others get on with however they choose to feed their children, for whatever reasons they have.

What I meant to say really was of course we all know it’s best to breastfeed, but it’s perfectly obvious that the facts in that annoying meme are overstated.
There is very little difference in children who are BF or FF, and surely it’s more to do with what they are fed after 6 months, where they live, lifestyle, opportunities, family, mental health etc?
I think as mothers we should stop shaming each other. This whole smug ‘one-upmanship’ thing has become way out of control. There are many ‘mamas’ around at the moment who act as though they’ve fucking re-invented motherhood and want the entire world to know about it, expecting us to bow to their superiority. God they get on my tits. Excuse the pun.

'No one has ever made me feel guilty for FF either. It’s not something I feel in the least bit ashamed of so why would I feel guilty?'

Nor me

ELCS was my natural birth choice

FF was my natural feeding choice

Both have worked amazingly

Try hard propaganda as In the Op with spelling mistakes produced by 'mummynummies' makes me groan. What bollox.

On the other hand if I was thinking of BF and extended BF then this would just put me right off even attempting.

Breastfeeding, in my experience, is definitely not easier than ff.
From my experience, it is incredibly painful and relentless, exhausting, and then at the end of 6 weeks you discover you dc hasn't put on a single ounce and then you are full of devastating guilt that you have starved your precious baby, and feel like an utter failure.
I ff my youngest dc and had an amazing experience. The perfect prep machine was a godsend, and being able to share the feeds with dh meant I got rest and he got to bond. And we knew dc4 was thriving on it too. I wouldn't change that for the world.
Breastmilk may be best, but breast feeding isn't always.

Breastfeeding can be very tough to get established. And most people (understandably) give up well before this point.

It's once it's established that it comes into its own.

At this point - it's easy, instantly-available and faff-free.

I wish they would be honest about breastfeeding it can be painful, I had blisters, it took a few weeks for us to establish an easy habit of feeding. I had problems with blocked ducts with the second and with the third awful mastitis which the midwife insisted did not need treating, my boob never recovered and damage showed up on a mammogram years later.

Breastfeeding, in my experience, is definitely not easier than ff.

Experiences vary though. It is often harder than FF in the early weeks but, after that, it's definitely easier in terms of the practicalities of sourcing, prepping, etc.

It doesn't really matter what's easier TBH. It does matter that the facts are provided to new mothers which enable them to make the right, informed decision for them and their children and they are supported to continue for as long as they wish. That means that, sadly, some women who couldn't or didn't BF will find the messages hard to see.

@duckling84 “breast milk may be best but breast feeding isn’t always”.

That sums it up so aptly for me.

OMG that is so annoying and hilarious!

Glossy hair, leaner - breast milk a painkiller?!

Mad. Absolute mad.

PUKE

I really wanted to join in this thread but I can't get past the first "Mummie" without retching.

Just.... Everyone do what you need to do and get out of everyone else's faces about it.

(Still gipping)

Just one of the battery of messages designed to make motherhood a guilt trip. Ignore!

I breastfed mine until they weaned themselves around 2 years but it's not for everyone. I remember the gorgeous pearlescent sheen on their skin, but for all I know, bottle-fed babies have it too!

The only benefits were cost, convenience and not having to stumble round doing bottles in the middle of the night. Oh, and DH doing the nappies and bringing the babies so I could do night feeds without getting out of bed!

Im sorry I cant help but laugh at the first one about hair
my dd is 4 and still breast feeds and she has the thinnest hair and its curly
when she gets up in the morning its like an 80s back comb and you cant put a brush near it without using some sort of hair product other wise she looks like a bush
Glossy hair it is not .
Op out of my 5 children I managed to breast feed 2 until they were toddlers it was bloody hard work and I honestly wished I had just bottle fed them to make my life easier but they both were bottle refusers
which is a whole other problem you are not warned about.
with my other 3 the longest I lasted was 5 weeks and my ds2 it was not even 24 hours he just screamed and refused and was happier with a bottle
A fed baby is best it doesn't matter if they are breast or bottle