Are they friends or jealous of me

[Maudacious]

AIBU to be upset that a couple of my so called friends don't respond when I ask for feedback on my work (designs that take about 1 minute of their time to look at). I give them lots of listening time and prop them up when they're down without fail but i'm now beginning to think they might be jealous of me. I'm less inclined to respond to their feedback requests as a result but am struggling with why some women can't be happy for their friends successes and why they like to try and put dampners on.

Jealousy isn't the first thing that comes to mind, they probably fear your response. Take the hint.

A friend is an author and asked me to read her book. It was absolutely fucking awful. An absolute literary crime.

For the first book I gave her some feedback about character development, sub-plots, language etc then left it there. After that, she asked me to read her subsequent work and I’ve politely said no.

Are you sure your work isn’t, errr, as good as you think, and they’re not sure how to tell you?!

What sort of stuff is it? Do you make candles at home with a fake Chanel logo that you sell on Facebook?

Yep, jealousy is the only possible explanation for that behaviour. Definitely the conclusion you should immediately jump to. For sure.

I'm scared The Muppet Show! I will brace myself!

It reminds me of a friend who did ask me about feedback - I honestly thought it was a joke when I first saw her "work". it wasn't. I don't think I manage to come up with anything better than "how original"

@JumpyLiz 😂😂

Do you make candles at home with a fake Chanel logo that you sell on Facebook?

I have seen some on a diy FB group, people LOVE them!

Thank you ShirleyPhallus! I love your post - lmao! fake Chanel candles hahahaha!

Fucking hell - I don’t even get a response out of asking dh for feedback on my work (asked him to proofread my website and took him a week to do so - it was one bloody page).

Honestly how would you feel if they sent you a report from their work and asked you to double check the figures?

@ShirleyPhallus I’ve had to read terrible “books” on this basis. Find it so hard to give the feedback - when in my head I’m thinking- no amount of editing is going to save this.

Come on @Maudacious share away... we are all waiting

Well somehow @butterybiscuitbasic this friend has been so successful in her particular niche that she gave up her average office job and now writes full time! So she’s either really improved or there is a huge market for shite books out there.

ShirleyPhallus you are a true friend indeed to read your friends book! That is commitment. Is she self published? Hard to get books published no if they're rubbish. To answer whether i overrate my work no I don't, I don't have much of a critical view of it tbh. I can see though how uncomfortable it could be though for a few friends to cope with the idea of giving negative feedback and in future will leave those people out any feedback requests.

Personally I don't like to give feedback to friends unless their work absolutely blows me away. If it's a bit meh or not good, I'm afraid to hurt their feelings and it embarrasses me to try to think of some platitude. So I'd rather not engage usually.

When your friends don't give feedback you are 'beginning to think they might be jealous' of you.

I hate to think what your reaction will be if they gave negative feedback.

buttery biscuit - they don't work so no spreadsheet feedback requests but want constant feedback on other things (usually falll outs they've had with friends which they want me to get involved in)

Is your friendship with others conditional upon their appreciation of your work? That says a lot about you, OP.

What sort of designs? I haven’t got much of an eye for that sort of thing and wouldn’t know what to say. I’d find it hard to respond to a request for ‘feedback’. Could they just be a bit stuck as regards how to respond?

@Maudacious that isn’t remotely the point. Asking friends for work feedback is odd. Talking through a falling out or life drama is normal (albeit often boring for the recipient).

If you need feedback on designs - there’s plenty of places to do this - small business forums, Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups etc.

GrouchoMrx I do get negative feedback - and its not a problem - it helps - you don't understand the issue i think.

lol! No! Wow! Kaldefotter

Also design is subjective anyway - ask any graphic designer... part of the training to do this type of job includes how to ask for feedback that’s constructive as things are so subjective and you tend to get answers like “I like it - but it could be w bit more lively” when actually what you need is “change the font to something clearer and open up the the space between x and z”

What "designs" are these? Logos, websites, artwork, branding, UIs, entire marketing campaigns, book covers, children's book illustrations, comics, movie storyboards, OOAK jewelry, stupidly complicated cakes?

Why did you choose these women to judge your work if they don't have any experience in this field?

I do get negative feedback - and its not a problem - it helps - you don't understand the issue i think.

Why do I have this funny feeling that if they gave you less than gushing feedback, you'd inform them that they just "don't understand"?