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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My GP was literally angry and told me off..

235 replies

Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:06

I'm losing sleep over this, so hope someone has any advice. I went to my GP yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have been feeling extremely run down and have had achy legs for over a week. It's become so bad that I even struggle to walk up stairs. One leg has also suddenly gone very purple, due to clear veins and spider veins, that have appeared out of nowhere. I thought I might be anaemic, as that happened to me when I was pregnant with DD.

Anyway, as I got in, it was clear that he was in a bad mood. DD was with me and she wanted him to say hello to her teddy and he didn't even look at her. I told him my symptoms and he said "why are you here? You should be seing a midwife". I said my next appointment with her is in two weeks. He then went on a rant about how I was now in the midwife's care, due to pregnancy, and that I shouldn't go to the GP for things anymore. The midwife should be the first stop. Then he went on for ages about the different types of funding given to midwives, compared to doctors, and basically, in so many words, said I was taking advantage of the wrong type of funding.

I told him my midwife is very far away, so it's hard to go see her apart from the set appointments. There is no midwife in my area, and the nearest one is quite far away. When I said this, he said "this is not about what is more convenient for you". He then said that for some people it might be very convenient to go to A&E with a cold, but that doesn't mean it's right.. I asked if I could get the blood test anyway, and he eventually said "yes, but I don't see the point".

I left feeling distraught and shocked. He was literally angry! No joke! DD needed the toilet, and whilst in there with her I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying. I tried to speak to the lady in reception, but couldn't get a word out as I was crying so much. Luckily, a female doctor happened to be in the reception at that time as told me to come to her office. I still struggled to speak, but eventually told her what had happened and she said the other doctor was wrong and that I was perfectly entitled to see the GP that day. She even said that I can come there for anything, even stuff that's pregnancy related. She understood that the midwife is far away, and said that they actually do have a local midwife, but that she's on maternity leave and hasn't been replaced.

I'm now wondering whether to formally make a complaint against the angry GP. You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less! Anyone can become anaemic, and they are supposed to see their GP for that, so why can't a pregnant woman? How am I supposed to know what I can see my GP for, and what I can't? If I break my leg am I supposed to call the midwife? If not then how am I supposed to know where to draw the line? And how the hell am I supposed to know about the different types of NHS funding?! Or is complaining a bit over the top?

OP posts:
SRK16 · 12/10/2019 05:08

I would complain. Sorry this happened to you, he was out of order.

Ihatefootball86 · 12/10/2019 05:11

Definitely complain!

WhoAmIToTellYou · 12/10/2019 05:13

Absolutely complain. The prick needs to experience the consequences of his shitty behaviour.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 12/10/2019 05:15

I don't suppose the other GP had a look shy your leg did they? I'd want to rule out DVT.

And yes, complain officially about him. He shouldn't speak to patients like that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/10/2019 05:15

Definitely complain. The next person won’t be fortunate to happen upon a kinder Gp. It sounds as if the man you spoke to is under a great deal of pressure and stress. But that’s not your problem. Please don’t take it personally. You just happened to be his outlet today.

Henrysmycat · 12/10/2019 05:16

Seconded. I’ll complain too with details. He was out of order. Also, don’t take this the wrong way but not everyone that is working under such pressure would stop and talk to a teddy.

Monty27 · 12/10/2019 05:16

Call the midwife

FrowningFlamingo · 12/10/2019 05:18

To me it sounds like the doctor is burnt out. While some of what they said was true - antenatal care is no longer done by GPs so no longer funded, I see plenty of pregnant women and think nothing of it unless it’s something where they specifically need obstetric/midwifery input. I think most GPs would do the same.
However, that’s nothing to do with you as the patient. And there’s definitely no excuse for making you feel so upset.
I suspect they’ve been worn down over a long period of time being expected to continue doing things we aren’t paid for, inappropriate transfer of workload from secondary care and probably some genuinely unreasonable requests from patients too.
I would be very surprised if the other GP you saw doesn’t feed this back to them and hopefully gets them some support.
As to whether you should complain, on the surface of it probably yes. If it were me I would be trying to word it carefully (yes, more carefully than they worded things with you, I appreciate the irony) as to me this screams of someone who is struggling themselves. But you wouldn’t be unreasonable not to do that and I can understand why you’re upset.

Shockers · 12/10/2019 05:19

I would complain. You don’t even know whether your symptoms were pregnancy related- not that that changes the fact that he was very unprofessional.

Durgasarrow · 12/10/2019 05:19

That is completely outrageous. A GP should handle any person who walks in.

MutedUser · 12/10/2019 05:20

YANBU for the way he talked to you. But YABU to mentioned that he didn’t speak to your daughters teddy .

Original poster
Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:21

Thanks for the replies, so glad to hear you agree! And yes, I didn't expect him to talk to the teddy, I just mentioned it as it made it clear from the start that he was already in a bad/stressed mood.

OP posts:
YobaOljazUwaque · 12/10/2019 05:24

Yes complain. I expect he was in a bad mood due to dealing with government underfunding of GP services but it was totally unprofessional to take that or on you.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 12/10/2019 05:29

Sorry OP that this upset you so much. You should def complain, send an email now, you'll feel better for it. He had no right to speak to you like this esp as you're feeling ill and vulnerable. I don't care whether he's stressed or not. We all work and couldn't get away with this in any job

Original poster
Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:29

@FrowningFlamingo Thanks for the detailed reply. Good to know 'the other side' of it too. I will definitely word the complaint carefully, if I end up complaining (which I think I will).

OP posts:
OpheliaBee · 12/10/2019 05:31

This is absolutely incorrect. I’m a community midwife and will direct any query that is not directly related to pregnancy to a GP. A midwifery degree is incredibly specific and we should not be taking responsibility for any and all illnesses and ailments just because a woman happens to be pregnant. Did the doctor actually look at your leg to rule out a DVT? If not, I think you need to go to a walk in centre or A&E.

custardbear · 12/10/2019 05:32

Definitely complain - you don't know what the problem was, it may not be pregnancy related and in all honesty a midwife isn't qualified to make medical decisions - it could have been a clot ffs

Dyrne · 12/10/2019 05:34

Glad you’re going to raise it further, OP. Stressed or not, this man has a duty of care to his vulnerable patients. If he cannot provide that care then he needs to be signed off sick.

In the length of time it took for him to berate you, he could have checked your leg; ordered a blood test (if needed), and explained that for any follow up it would make more sense and actually be quicker for you to follow up with your midwife, as that was how funding was Set up.

Toastymash · 12/10/2019 05:36

Yes, definitely complain.

Even if he does think that a midwife appt was more appropriate he should have examined and treated you anyway and then politely mentioned that next time you should contact the midwife first. He sounds like a total wanker.

itchyfinger · 12/10/2019 05:37

What a loaf of bull, of course you can still see a GP. Complain.

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 05:38

@Sofi88

You must complain about this Doctor to the Practice Manager either do it on the phone or send them an email. Just because he is Doctor doesn't excuse him being rude to a patient. Doctors do not intimidate me at all and I have told one particularly rude one to stop being so bloody rude! He was shocked but he did apologise straight away ... they are humans just like you and me they have just been to university and trained to be a Doctor. Read the Doctors oath

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath

DonKeyshot · 12/10/2019 05:40

Manners cost nothing and a half-decent GP would have said hello to your dd's teddy, albeit they wouldn't have followed through with a full-blown conversation on the merits of honey or marmalade for tea.

I hope you will complain about this curmudgeon to the practice manager and take it further if you get no satisfaction. Disgraceful way for a health professional to treat anyone let alone a pregnant woman with a genuine cause for concern about her health.

prawnsword · 12/10/2019 05:40

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prawnsword · 12/10/2019 05:42

Like complain but I doubt they will lose their job over this or their medical licence. You would spend all this time making a complaint but not inconvenience yourself to make & attend a midwife appointment when you are pregnant & unwell.

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 05:45

@prawnsword

I ccompletely disagree with what you have just typed. This man is a health professional not a waitress ... he needs to treat all his patients with respect and even if that means talking to a child's teddy bear. This young woman is pregnant and feeling ill and worried. This man needs to improve his bedside manner and would tell this to him myself if I could. I used to work in the NHS and have dealt with many rude consultants and doctors. My husband was a NHS Manager for 22 years and he also had to deal with stroppy surgeons and doctors ... they need to be told they are not god sometimes even though they think they are.