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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My GP was literally angry and told me off..

235 replies

Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:06

I'm losing sleep over this, so hope someone has any advice. I went to my GP yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have been feeling extremely run down and have had achy legs for over a week. It's become so bad that I even struggle to walk up stairs. One leg has also suddenly gone very purple, due to clear veins and spider veins, that have appeared out of nowhere. I thought I might be anaemic, as that happened to me when I was pregnant with DD.

Anyway, as I got in, it was clear that he was in a bad mood. DD was with me and she wanted him to say hello to her teddy and he didn't even look at her. I told him my symptoms and he said "why are you here? You should be seing a midwife". I said my next appointment with her is in two weeks. He then went on a rant about how I was now in the midwife's care, due to pregnancy, and that I shouldn't go to the GP for things anymore. The midwife should be the first stop. Then he went on for ages about the different types of funding given to midwives, compared to doctors, and basically, in so many words, said I was taking advantage of the wrong type of funding.

I told him my midwife is very far away, so it's hard to go see her apart from the set appointments. There is no midwife in my area, and the nearest one is quite far away. When I said this, he said "this is not about what is more convenient for you". He then said that for some people it might be very convenient to go to A&E with a cold, but that doesn't mean it's right.. I asked if I could get the blood test anyway, and he eventually said "yes, but I don't see the point".

I left feeling distraught and shocked. He was literally angry! No joke! DD needed the toilet, and whilst in there with her I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying. I tried to speak to the lady in reception, but couldn't get a word out as I was crying so much. Luckily, a female doctor happened to be in the reception at that time as told me to come to her office. I still struggled to speak, but eventually told her what had happened and she said the other doctor was wrong and that I was perfectly entitled to see the GP that day. She even said that I can come there for anything, even stuff that's pregnancy related. She understood that the midwife is far away, and said that they actually do have a local midwife, but that she's on maternity leave and hasn't been replaced.

I'm now wondering whether to formally make a complaint against the angry GP. You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less! Anyone can become anaemic, and they are supposed to see their GP for that, so why can't a pregnant woman? How am I supposed to know what I can see my GP for, and what I can't? If I break my leg am I supposed to call the midwife? If not then how am I supposed to know where to draw the line? And how the hell am I supposed to know about the different types of NHS funding?! Or is complaining a bit over the top?

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 12/10/2019 22:28

If op complains then it would not simply be because of the GP’s attitude.

He didn’t even look at her leg. That is clinically unsafe.

So even if people think it’s unreasonable for a complaint to be submitted because he was shitty (not unreasonable at all btw) a complaint would be further justified because he has failed in his duty of care. If there was something seriously wrong with op (and please God there isn’t), if something awful was to happen he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on because he didn’t even take the time to examine her. Even the most inexperienced negligence solicitor could have him for breakfast.

ScreamingBeans · 12/10/2019 22:57

I find it really depressing that in 2019 women are still being told that the potential feelings and back-story of an unprofessional and unpleasant man, is more important than their actual feelings and back-story and that they should cut him some slack.

No they shouldn't. We should stop making excuses for horrible men who can't even stop being horrible in order to be professional.

GnomeDePlume · 13/10/2019 10:10

@ScreamingBeans I agree.

ClementineWardobe · 13/10/2019 10:15

That's awful I'm so sorry - if we had the same GP I wouldn't be at all surprised. 💐

DC3dilemma · 13/10/2019 14:27

@ScreamingBeans

I just don’t see this as a gendered issue. I guess because I work in the NHS this is not a totally unfamiliar scenaeio, and could have happened a number of ways-

The person in social crisis who couldn’t get hold of their social worker because the service put their phones to answerphone while understaffed and goes to the GP instead...
The person who couldn’t get hold of the mental health crisis team who goes to the GP instead...
The person who couldn’t get to the hours offered by x,y, or a nurse led clinic who goes to the GP instead...

Male and female GPS get hammered when their resources are stripped to create “better” services out-with the practice, but then these services are inadequate and have no fall back except for the now under-resourced GP.

For me, this description reeks of this situation and a GP at the end of their tether.

FWIW I think there is a real problem with sexism in accessing medical care whether it’s achieving real informed consent in obstetric/gynae issues, in labour, and in general women tend to have pain taken less seriously...etc etc etc....but I think this is something else.

Sofi88 · 13/10/2019 19:34

Thanks so much for your replies everyone, made me feel so much better! I talked to a retired midwife (in DH's family) yesterday, about my leg, and she said it looks like a result of slow blood circulation, which is very common in pregnancy. That blood can pool in the leg (if I understood her right). Recommended compression stockings. She said as long as it's not swollen and clearly discoloured, then it's probably not a blood clot. So that made me relax a bit.

OP posts:
Mumof21989 · 13/10/2019 19:43

He's rude and horrible and yes you should complain. Where I live I could ring up my local midwives and get advice and they are within a mile of my house but our hospital has got rid of all maternity here accept community midwives. It really winds me up how you are expected to travel so far for a service because of cut backs etc. I travelled 45 mins to have my babies to the nearest maternity unit. Pregnant women are in a really difficult position these days if they don't live next to a hospital.

I am sorry he was so horrible to you Infront of your child too. I hope you feel better now and got to the bottom of what was causing your issues x

OhTheRoses · 13/10/2019 19:48

*@DC3dilemma. Or it's just downright rude and targetted at someone vulnerable. There's a similar GP at my practice, founding partner, late 60s, arrogant arse. Does he speak to me like it? No he doesn't because I'm middle class, cut glass and he clocks the address but I can see he would and that it discomfits him that he knows he can't get away with speaking to me as a "little woman". First time I met him, now come in OhThe, I am Dr Mysogynist. I'm very pleased to meet you, I am Mrs Roses - with a hard Paddington stare.

BlackeyedGruesome · 13/10/2019 19:54

Patients normally go and see a Dr because they are a Dr and have trained for 10 years to be a GP so expect them to have some idea what might be wrong... Why the heck did they train for a decade if your average person can determine the problem and seek the appropriate care with no training at all.

isadoradancing123 · 13/10/2019 19:58

I would definitely want my dissatisfaction fed back to him. It is totally unacceptable to expect a patient to understand how the funding system works

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