My GP was literally angry and told me off..

[Sofi88]

I'm losing sleep over this, so hope someone has any advice. I went to my GP yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have been feeling extremely run down and have had achy legs for over a week. It's become so bad that I even struggle to walk up stairs. One leg has also suddenly gone very purple, due to clear veins and spider veins, that have appeared out of nowhere. I thought I might be anaemic, as that happened to me when I was pregnant with DD.

Anyway, as I got in, it was clear that he was in a bad mood. DD was with me and she wanted him to say hello to her teddy and he didn't even look at her. I told him my symptoms and he said "why are you here? You should be seing a midwife". I said my next appointment with her is in two weeks. He then went on a rant about how I was now in the midwife's care, due to pregnancy, and that I shouldn't go to the GP for things anymore. The midwife should be the first stop. Then he went on for ages about the different types of funding given to midwives, compared to doctors, and basically, in so many words, said I was taking advantage of the wrong type of funding.

I told him my midwife is very far away, so it's hard to go see her apart from the set appointments. There is no midwife in my area, and the nearest one is quite far away. When I said this, he said "this is not about what is more convenient for you". He then said that for some people it might be very convenient to go to A&E with a cold, but that doesn't mean it's right.. I asked if I could get the blood test anyway, and he eventually said "yes, but I don't see the point".

I left feeling distraught and shocked. He was literally angry! No joke! DD needed the toilet, and whilst in there with her I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying. I tried to speak to the lady in reception, but couldn't get a word out as I was crying so much. Luckily, a female doctor happened to be in the reception at that time as told me to come to her office. I still struggled to speak, but eventually told her what had happened and she said the other doctor was wrong and that I was perfectly entitled to see the GP that day. She even said that I can come there for anything, even stuff that's pregnancy related. She understood that the midwife is far away, and said that they actually do have a local midwife, but that she's on maternity leave and hasn't been replaced.

I'm now wondering whether to formally make a complaint against the angry GP. You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less! Anyone can become anaemic, and they are supposed to see their GP for that, so why can't a pregnant woman? How am I supposed to know what I can see my GP for, and what I can't? If I break my leg am I supposed to call the midwife? If not then how am I supposed to know where to draw the line? And how the hell am I supposed to know about the different types of NHS funding?! Or is complaining a bit over the top?

Personally the impact on the GP could be enormous, and on the practice and other patients if there is prolonged sick leave etc.

But that is almost certainly a lesser evil than letting his carry on unchecked behaving towards patients as he did to OP. His dismissal of potentially serious symptoms may well be actively negligent.

It’s not victim blaming or asking too much of @Sofi88 to suggest a more emotionally intelligent response that might have better outcomes for everyone involved -her as a patient of the NHS, the population being served (or underserved) by midwifery services and perhaps the GP too i.e. a complaint about the lack of cover for the midwife in mat leave, addressing how this may have led to this terrible encounter.

I really don't see how this is a better response. With those symptoms a GP is at least as suitable a person to consult as a midwife, and I must say if I were in that situation I would actually assume that the GP is a better bet as the symptoms don't necessarily arise directly or even indirectly from the pregnancy. Further, even if that were not the case, I strongly suspect that taking OP off his patient list would make zero difference; he would almost certainly have been equally foul to whichever unfortunate turned up in her place. That is a classic example of remedying the symptoms rather than the cause of the problem.

@Topseyt

“Bollocks. His behaviour was shit and unacceptable. Of course she should complain about it. If the complaint makes him apologise (unlikely) or at least think twice before launching into such rants at patients in the future (hopefully) then the complaint will have achieved its objective.”

Never did I say she shouldn’t complain so not sure what your 3rd sentence is about. An apology won’t come from him, it’ll be something generic from the practice -pretty meaningless really. And it’s pretty unlikely to make a stressed out, burnt out individual think twice. I have suggested how a complaint (which I absolutely think she should make) can have much more meaningful impact than a brief, rapidly forgotten paper exercise. OP deserves more than that, unless the purpose of a complaint is to just cause more stress to the individual concerned to exact revenge. That’s up to the OP.

Bold fail there, sorry - the whole of the third paragraph should be in bold.

Oh bore off @CleopatraTomato

I'll tell you a story.

I'm a police officer. No one can argue that we are also stretched, cut to the bare bones and burnt out.
Around a year ago at Halloween I had what was possibly the worst ever night shift I've ever had. I was on sleeping tablets due to stress, I'd only had a 7 hour gap between shifts (legally meant to have at least 12 but had to come in early to cover so there goes that) That night I was single crewed, a dear friend and colleague of mine was in hospital from the night before being stabbed in the leg with a needle of someone who was HIV positive. I'd been run ragged for going on 11 hours straight. I attended a domestic incident where the victim spat in my face to get me off her doorstep. I tasted the wine she had been drinking.
As I walked towards my response car later in the night, on the brink of tears, control room called up saying all officers were to stay on shift to cover demand until further notice and no one was to go home.
I very nearly lost it there and then, right in the street. I honestly was on the verge of completley breaking down from exhaustion. Just at that very moment a girl, probably around 6 years old, and her mum walked by trick or treating. The girl was dressed as a witch and cackled at me. She took her hat off and held it out to me. I laughed at her, went over, put some chewing gum in her hat, told her how cool she looked and how scary she was, she gave me a bag of her sweets, and I sat in my car where I promptly burst into tears.

Don't give me this burn out excuse. No one is that burnt out they can't manage a basic level of human civility. And if they can't, well then they're in the wrong job aren't they.

Oh, yeah, and he definitely wouldn't have been like this if you were male OP.

It definitely sounds very upsetting to be treated like that but I wouldn't complain officially in case this is the final straw for him. I am sure the other GP you spoke to will have brought it up with him. There are a few unpleasant characters at our surgery but I try and take the attitude that as long as there medical care is good Ii will try and overlook their people skills. I am honestly not trying to minimise his behaviour, just cautioning about the effects of an official complaint on a professional person. Hope you feel better soon.

@BasilGump just to say I think police officers get very little support and I really applaud you for your job and dedication. I hope you get a better balance as we really need decent policemen.

@longlongsummer - thank you

@mcmooberry, I’m sorry but thats terrible advice. If he’s done something that deserves a complaint then the consequences of that are on him, not the OP. I say this as a professional person, I encourage my clients to complain if they’re not happy and leave it to my manager to decide whether to uphold genuine complaints or tell them they’re being unreasonable.

@Babybel90, my opinion is that I wouldn't encourage anyone to make a formal complaint (am assuming the OP means the GMC as the practice are already aware of it) for an unpleasant manner.

hi you are not being unreasonable you should definitely complain but whether they will take any notice is another matter

Something I find really interesting is that throughout my entire life, and I am nearly 60, I have only ever found policemen and women to be very polite and helpful, even when pulling me over for driving in a bus lane (once). I have not had the same experience of Drs and Nurses.

Yes do complain. Pregnancy is tough and that male doctor might be best working with patients after some tough words and re training

There seems to be a lot of assuming that the GP is burning out. For all anyone knows he could have had a row with his wife or got a scratch on his car. All the OP knows is that he was rude and dismissive and chose her to be the target of his vitriol.

I’d complain, just be factual, he gets paid way more than emergency services or other NHS staff and you had good reason to go. When I was pregnant I wasn’t told only to go to a midwife with any problems, you couldn’t even get an appointment with one except for the precooked appointments.
Totally agree with what BasilGump said, there are more stressful jobs so no excuse, funny how people don’t excuse anyone else for ‘having a bad day’

@mcmooberry but a good bedside manner is a key part of being a GP, every single person who makes the decision to go in to general practice knows that they will be overworked, that they will be dealing with time wasters, annoying patients and things that don’t require a doctors time. There’s no excuse for being rude, you can point people in the right direction politely, you can be firm politely.

I wouldn’t suggest going to the GMC but making the practice manager aware and making the complaint formal seems like a good idea so the doctor can have some feedback and make sure it doesn’t happen again, rather than it being brushed under the carpet.

Sorry - haven’t read the full thread but....
I’m a GP and this is absolutely the wrong way to speak to a patient. Also it is fine for pregnant women to see their GP with issues like this, I would absolutely expect that.
This is so weird and so wrong that, like a previous poster, I feel a bit concerned about that doctor (as well as being horrified for you). I think absolutely fine for you to feed back

chinateapot do you think a constructive complaint to the senior partner would be the way to go? A "I am sorry to have to write but on reflection feel you should be aware that x happened at my appointment with y on.

It may be that y is unwell or very stressed but I would like a reassurance that what happened to me will not happen another person who may be as vulnerable or more vulnerable than me.

Please call if you would like to discuss further and I look fòrward to hearing from you.

Sounds fair! Practice manager best route for a complaint though.

Oh, and I really like talking to kids’ teddy bears etc. It makes me smile and makes the whole day feel a bit happier.

OP I'm hoping your leg is checked and pkay

Complain that's awful! When I was pregnant the midwife told me to use their services and/or the GP I was worried about anything at all because you can never be too careful when you're pregnant. He probably has had a bad day but doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Complain, that's absolutely ridiculous. He's wrong, too, your GP is absolutely one of the ports of call during pregnancy. My surgery is a very overstretched London one and they have made seeing me during my pregnancy a priority whenever I've had issues. In fact if you call the maternal triage line at your antenatal unit the first thing they will tell you to do unless it is specifically baby related is to see your GP.

How are you doing OP? Please don't let this go, definitely complain about him!

Yes you must make a formal complaint.

He was an arse. Definitely complain.