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AIBU?

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Original poster

My GP was literally angry and told me off..

235 replies

Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 05:06

I'm losing sleep over this, so hope someone has any advice. I went to my GP yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have been feeling extremely run down and have had achy legs for over a week. It's become so bad that I even struggle to walk up stairs. One leg has also suddenly gone very purple, due to clear veins and spider veins, that have appeared out of nowhere. I thought I might be anaemic, as that happened to me when I was pregnant with DD.

Anyway, as I got in, it was clear that he was in a bad mood. DD was with me and she wanted him to say hello to her teddy and he didn't even look at her. I told him my symptoms and he said "why are you here? You should be seing a midwife". I said my next appointment with her is in two weeks. He then went on a rant about how I was now in the midwife's care, due to pregnancy, and that I shouldn't go to the GP for things anymore. The midwife should be the first stop. Then he went on for ages about the different types of funding given to midwives, compared to doctors, and basically, in so many words, said I was taking advantage of the wrong type of funding.

I told him my midwife is very far away, so it's hard to go see her apart from the set appointments. There is no midwife in my area, and the nearest one is quite far away. When I said this, he said "this is not about what is more convenient for you". He then said that for some people it might be very convenient to go to A&E with a cold, but that doesn't mean it's right.. I asked if I could get the blood test anyway, and he eventually said "yes, but I don't see the point".

I left feeling distraught and shocked. He was literally angry! No joke! DD needed the toilet, and whilst in there with her I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying. I tried to speak to the lady in reception, but couldn't get a word out as I was crying so much. Luckily, a female doctor happened to be in the reception at that time as told me to come to her office. I still struggled to speak, but eventually told her what had happened and she said the other doctor was wrong and that I was perfectly entitled to see the GP that day. She even said that I can come there for anything, even stuff that's pregnancy related. She understood that the midwife is far away, and said that they actually do have a local midwife, but that she's on maternity leave and hasn't been replaced.

I'm now wondering whether to formally make a complaint against the angry GP. You'd think pregnant women should be entitled to more care, not less! Anyone can become anaemic, and they are supposed to see their GP for that, so why can't a pregnant woman? How am I supposed to know what I can see my GP for, and what I can't? If I break my leg am I supposed to call the midwife? If not then how am I supposed to know where to draw the line? And how the hell am I supposed to know about the different types of NHS funding?! Or is complaining a bit over the top?

OP posts:
rebecca102 · 12/10/2019 05:46

What the heck! Totally wrong, I would 100% complain

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 05:48

@rebecca102

I agree ... this man needs to be told to stop being rude to patients or get another job.

Dyrne · 12/10/2019 05:51

prawnsword how odd. You describe a worried pregnant woman that doesn’t have easy access to a midwife as “wasting the GP’s time” but then go on to say that the space could have been taken up by someone with “bad cold and flu” which is clearly treatable at home with over the counter meds and there’s literally nothing a GP can do about it.

Out of the 2, I know which one would be more clearly “wasting time” and it’s not the pregnant woman!

And why imply the OP wants the bloke fired? There are many reasons to complain - and pointing out that the GP either needs corrective advice or extra support; is not a bad thing!

Dyrne · 12/10/2019 05:54

(And the OP has already clarified that she included the bear thing to set the scene - I.e. that he was being dismissive from the very beginning, so It was nothing that she did to set him off).

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 05:54

@Dyrne

Exactly .. the Doctor won't be fired he will just be told of the complaint against him and advised not to treat any of his patients like that again.

MutedUser · 12/10/2019 05:56

@jo0brian the daughter wasn’t his patient he has NO need to entertain such nonsense

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 05:58

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GreenLeafTurnip · 12/10/2019 05:59

@prawnsword you are completely contradicting yourself in your post. How on earth can a doctor treat a bad cold?? That's wasting GP time not a clearly unwell pregnant woman (Not person only women can be pregnant).
Also, if you don't interact with your customers children then you're probably not a great waitress.

Original poster
Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 06:00

@OpheliaBee Thanks fo your input! He looked at the leg briefly, but kind of shrugged it off. In the comments written on the blood test thing, it only said "feeling tired, has not yet seen midwife". So not sure whether the leg was seen as unimportant, or not considered at all..

@JoObrien7 Thanks for letting me know who to direct the complain to! And for the link :)

OP posts:
JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 06:02

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Toddlerteaplease · 12/10/2019 06:02

Definitely complain, he was out of order and wrong. You wouldn't see your midwife for a sore throat etc!

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 12/10/2019 06:03

prawn OP risk of anaemia which she's had before or even dvt or pre eclampsia are far better reasons to go to the gp than flu ffs. He is a trained medical professional, not a waitress so don't care how you do things. OP wasn't making excuses and she isn't to blame for funding issues. Ridiculous

avocadoincident · 12/10/2019 06:06

I think the GP is in very dangerous territory here as what if you'd had a later discovered DVT. He could have treated you with respect then mentioned at the end of the appointment that next time you could see your midwife instead or as well.

The irony is that any health issue I've ever mentioned to my midwife or heath visitor they've always said "you need to go and see the GP for that".

The GP sounds under huge stress wether personally or professionally. Personally I wouldn't complain in an official capacity but would feedback to the practice manager in writing and want a reply. (These two maybe the same thing?!)

Dyrne · 12/10/2019 06:09

Also - completely beside the point as the OP has made clear it’s not the thing she was really bothered about, but it takes about 1 second to paste on a smile and say “hello bear!” It literally takes zero effort and goes a long way in making your patient feel comfortable at the start of the appointment.

If they are too stressed or upset to even make that teensy bit of effort then I would suggest that they are not in the right position to be patient facing.

Teacher22 · 12/10/2019 06:10

A midwife is what is known in the NHS as a supplementary prescriber and prescibe medications thus:-

‘Supplementary prescribers are responsible for continuing your care after an independent prescriber has assessed your health.

They work with the independent prescriber to fulfil a clinical management plan agreed between the prescribers and you.’

I have been diverted with an eye emergency to a paramedic at my practice. He was not allowed to prescribe anything and advised me to get over the counter medication from a pharmacist. My eye become much worse. The situation for the OP might well have been similar.

The doctor should remember that his patients do not know the funding rules of the NHS, and, more importantly, that their taxes fund his job and he has a duty of care.

It sounds as if that particular doctor was exhausted and frustrated rather than, as in the past, merely arrogant, but he should not have taken it out on his patient.

I should complain. Shouting at pregnant women and making them cry does not sound acceptable. Anything that brings him up short and makes him worry that his behaviour might have consequences would be helpful to others. We do not have enough doctors as it is and the BMA looks after its own so it is unlikely he will be sacked, merely reminded of his bedside manner. He might be sent for training in patient interfacing which would be appropriate for a grumpy, disrespectful medic.

MyOtherProfile · 12/10/2019 06:11

Do complain in the hope that he will think about and adjust his behaviour in future.

Madness - so if you saw the midwife would she be able to do blood tests and write a subsequent prescription if needed? Midwives round here certainly wouldn't.

Please tell me the other GP looked at your leg. If not please go back.

Teacher22 · 12/10/2019 06:12

Sorry, prescribes, not prescribe.

Gingerkittykat · 12/10/2019 06:15

@prawnsword

Why did you call the OP a pregnant person twice? Do you have a problem with the word woman?

Sleephead1 · 12/10/2019 06:21

Hi op I work in a surgery (just admin ) absolutely complain he was awful. The surgerys complaints procedure should be on the website its usually that you put it in writing to the practice manager and they have a timescale to investigate and respond. Be as detailed as possible describe receptionist and other doctor if you do not know their names. It may be that he has something going on in his life but it is absolutely not ok to speak to patients like that. It's also very common that patients perhaps dont fully understand exactly how things are funded ect and go to book in with the doctor when actually it's a issue that the physio/ nurse / midwife ect would deal with but they wouldn't know that and whilst I think its absolutely fine for the doctor to politely explain this is certainly dont think being rude , lecturing the patient ect helps. As admin we sometimes have to explain that the patient is trying to book into an appointment with one person when actually it would be advisable to see someone else ( eg they wanted a coil so just booked with any doctor not realising they needed swabs first and an appt in a clinic with one particular doctor for a longer appointment ) Please dont be put off by this one doctor if you need to be seen again

Original poster
Sofi88 · 12/10/2019 06:21

Thanks so much for the replies and support, I feel tons better!

@MyOtherProfile No she didn't, and I was too upset to even remember to show her. Didn't even manage to tell her the full story of what happened with the other doctor, which is why I'm considering complaining after having calmed down.

OP posts:
MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 12/10/2019 06:24

He was appallingly out of order and you should definitely complain.

I am a midwife. We are the experts in normal pregnancy and birth. Of course we are trained to recognise when things are no longer normal (eg potential DVT etc) but we refer onwards - we cannot prescribe or treat abnormality in the same way that a doctor can.

The idea that your GP thinks he no longer has any responsibility for you just because you are pregnant is mind-blowing; I've never heard anything like it. Yes, changes in funding mean that most GPs no longer do routine AN care but a) that's not your issue and b) this wasn't routine.

And yes, he may well be burnt out. Again, that is not your problem or responsibility.

I am really shocked. Please put in a complaint.

Grandmi · 12/10/2019 06:25

Prawns word....really!! So you think it’s perfectly acceptable for a GP to speak to OP in such a rude manner ! Her symptoms were not specifically pregnancy related and how is a lay person necessarily aware of the difference. If I had a problem even if possibly pregnancy related I would book to see GP before midwife if I was concerned and thought it was urgent and midwife had a long wait . Did GP examine and rule out DVT ?!

Savingforarainyday · 12/10/2019 06:47

Please don't word it carefully.
Use very clear language, and clearly outline what he said.

Oftentimes tack steals clarity.

longwayoff · 12/10/2019 06:47

Arrogant tosser. My exGP dismissing my early menopausal symptoms as 'women's problems, where would we be if every time we felt a little bit off we ran to the doctor?" Smug smirk. " I arranged to see a doctor, I'm obviously in the wrong place. I'll just ask reception when they'll be employing one and then I'll come back" . I stropped off (menopause anyone?) and he followed me out, apologising. Disgusting way to treat women. Complain and follow it up.

JoObrien7 · 12/10/2019 06:55

@longwayoff

I was misdiagnosed 10 years ago and offered antidepressants and counseling .... I actually had Graves' Disease and have had to fight my GP for blood tests and treatment since then. Even after being admitted to hospital with a thyroid storm in July my Doctor has written on my blood results NA which means no action when infact my antibodies are over 4000 and I have an enlarged thyroid.