It’s entirely possible to disagree with self ID proposals, not want intact male bodies in women’s prisons or refuges, and protest the awarding of thing reserved for women to trans or non binary people WITHOUT being offensive and disrespectful about trans people in general.
Good luck with that one.
Seriously - try going on twitter, or an open facebook page, or tumblr, or the Guardian's Comment is censored free and saying the above. You'll be on terf-blocker and piled on and sent gifs of anime characters pointing guns at you before you can even utter the phrase "reasonable and balanced debate."
I actually agree with your view for the most part (the more I read though, the less I'm sure surgery is the distinguishing criterion; I don't want people who've been through male puberty with all the advantages in terms of muscle mass, skeletal structure, metabolism, lung capacity etc. that it conveys, in women's sport, regardless of "what's in their pants".)
99% of the time it really doesn't matter. If someone wants to wear a dress, call themselves Janet (or a man's suit and call themselves Brad for that matter), mostly it doesn't matter. It's a free country. I'd like to see people able to "present" how they want, have whatever interests they want, refer to themselves in whatever way makes them comfortable, adopt whatever ideology they want that helps them make sense of a chaotic universe (so long as that ideology doesn't impinge on the rights of others). They should be able to do all this without worrying about their employment, housing and personal safety.
There is however about 1% of the time where someone's biological sex is the thing that matters - including the issues on the list you mention, for example. And when sex matters, it tends to matter a lot. But there are whole parts of the internet where you're not allowed to say that, however politely you try to phrase it.