To think the carotid artery is not a porn prop.

[SmileEachDay]

This from Twitter today.

link to the Tweet

. There is absolutely no way to tell if the women you are watching are victims of trafficking and abuse. If you’re cool with porn then you’re cool with maybe getting your rocks off to someone who is being raped.

Some men enjoy watching rape on tape, some don't, but it's totes cool innit

Err...no. That's not cool and I'll happily join you in condemning anyone who thinks that it's acceptable.

Condemn yourself then.

PBo8

See my post above.

That's entirely your opinion and is no more or less valid than my own.

To be fair, an opinion which overlooks the massive problem of exploitation, trafficking and harm because to think about it might put a dampener on sustaining one's boner and/or getting one's rocks off is inherently less valid than an opinion that acknowledges and condemns those (whether male or female) who sustain that harm.

Better yet, read this. But from what I've seen of you, there isn't much hope for men like you.

www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/many-porn-stars-viewed-online-are-actually-dead-and-buried...their-work-kil

I have to go for a bit but if anyone has any suggestions about how to discuss this stuff with early teen girls without scaring the shit out of them I'd love to hear them, since DH has been hinting that niece may be in need of a chat soon (he's her godfather but thankfully unlike some men has enough sense to recognize when his jumping in to offer his manly opinions would be entirely inappropriate).

uksaysnomore.org/talkingtoyoungpeopleaboutporn/

Prodigal this site has some good information and links. Worth looking at this one too parentinfo.org/article/ceops-video-talking-about-pornography

Hi folks,

In order for this thread to stay, we really need to ask you all to stay within talk guidelines.

It'd be quite a shame to lose some of the good discussion within this thread and we do think that we can keep things civil and keep personal attacks out of the mix.

I think it's really tragic that people do this and pray my kids never do or want to.

It's bloody shameful that our youth are being 'taught' that face slapping, choking and anal are all perfectly normal and expected in sex, and that you don't even need to ask first.

And as PP have noted, this is all before any of them even have sexual contact! And this kind of shit on Twitter feeds that. These poor girls.

People coming on telling us all about their bedroom antics are missing the bloody point.

@gingersausage

agree 100%. Also are there people / bots who have alerts to certain threads so they can post and tell us how repressed we are because we do not agree with BDSM / surrogacy / porn / prostitution / trans operations and chemicals?

I cannot believe that in my lifetime these are the issues I will have to fight, 30 years ago as a teen feminist I thought these battles were almost won. We really have rolled down the hill faster than my worst fears could have predicted.

Probably shit in bed too,

Bit much tbh

@Lyingonthesofainthedark unfortunately praying won’t be enough. Your children will be exposed to this stuff in the mainstream. The whole premise of this thread is a tweet on “how to safely strangle your girlfriend”. You can’t get much more mainstream than Twitter.

@SonEtLumiere and this is what we need all young women to recognise and be aware of. All it’s going to take is a few texts between a lad and his girlfriend along the lines of “what do u reckon to choking” “mm not sure, could be cool” and he’s basically been given a license to strangle the life out of her with no fucking consequences whatsoever.

@NerdyCurvyInkedandPervy finally, can't believe how long I had to scroll before I found a comment like yours. I know loads of people who are into it, I'm sorry that the people on MN can't grasp that fact.

@SonEtLumiere keep your hair on, maybe you should read my last reply to @BoreOfWhabylon

Quentin T creeps me right out.

I'd question the judgement of anyone who didn't find him a bit creepy, tbh. He's not exactly winning any awards for subtlety.

Or charm.

Moly

So what do you think about the normalisation of choking women during sex, to the extent that some dude is giving out the kind of advice that can kill someone within 3 minutes? On Twitter.

Anyone who tried putting their hands on my throat during sex would be leaving swiftly with a stilleto embedded in their forehead.

The fuck....

I can completely grasp that people are into it. nowt as queer as folk and all that. what I can't grasp is that anyone - male or female - would risk being the person who kills their partner just to give that partner a slightly edgier orgasm. the risk/benefit ratio seems a little skewed. If you need some dick on twitter to advise on how not to kill your partner during a particular sex act, you'd think people would wonder if this is really worth it.

That is apart from the normalisation of niche fetishes and the pornification of sex issues.

The issue is as many sensible PP’s have mentioned - that instead of the tweet discussing consent and the dangers of choking (or any breath play) they are candidly stating that pressure on the corotid artery is “safe”.

It is demonstrably not safe.

If two consenting adults in a loving relationship enjoy BDSM or S&M then it is for them to establish their own boundaries and accept that they are (with breath play) adding an element of fatal risk to their sex life. I don’t think this makes anybody who practices this as correctly as they can “damaged” or abuser/abused. In fact BDSM take the rules of their sphere very seriously and within those rules are clear and defined terms of consent.

Now onto the issue of normalising choking. It is horrible that this has become another example of violence against women (and men but less so in pornography as far as I understand) who do not want to take part in it. That young boys use pornography as an educational tool is an unfortunate fact of our society at present. We are the first to have to deal with this issue on such a wide and freely accessible scale and that is frightening. If my DD or DS decide they have a sexual ‘kink’ later in life - rather than decrying it as incorrect, I would try my best to educate myself and them on what the risks are. First and foremost that is my job as their Mum, as I can’t control what they choose to do in life, I can only hope to educate them and instil a decent moral compass and the strength to say ‘no’ within them.

I will add that calling people with a particular sexual predilection any sort of derogatory term is singularly unhelpful as we should be learning from each other. If my DH were to decide he would like to try any type of BDSM play (unlikely as we aren’t really into that side of things) the first person I would ask for advice would be my good friend who moonlighted as a dominatrix for many years.

All this I say as a woman who has survived abuse from a Male and Female relationship and have never been interested in choking or harsh rough intercourse. But there is a difference between debating if something should or should not be normalised and shaming posters who practice the act in question in as safe an environment as they can.

Uhh... not entirely sure what I could possibly learn from kinksters other than how to normalise sexual abuse and trauma bonding, and how to sugarcoat it and wrap it up in pretty language, so thanks but no thanks.

FWIW if MY husband decided that he wants to explore BDSM, the first person I'd consult would be a solicitor.

@beautifulmelody your consistent distaste towards any type of logical debate regarding this issue has lead me to determine that you are extremely single minded and I will not get locked into a debate with you. You have your own set of beliefs and I have mine. You will not change my mind and I will not change yours. But I will suggest that in order for people to grow they should at least, allow differing perspectives on a public Internet forum in order to fully explore the subject matter.