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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be angry at being asked to leave doctors

141 replies

user1496231209 · 09/10/2019 11:23

I've just got home from a nightmare appointment at the doctors and Im so angry/upset I burst into tears when I got in.
I was waiting for an appointment when my 14 month old DD started screaming. I was walking around trying to calm her down while waiting for our name to pop up and she kept stopping and starting.
Cue the stares and mutters and tuts from others which was making me incredibly anxious.
Next thing I know the receptionist comes to me and 'suggests' that I take my daughter out of the surgery and to walk her around the block but she'll get me when my doctor is ready which will be in 10 mins.
I've got severe psoriasis which is made worst by the cold but I was so shocked that I just agreed and left.
After being left outside for 20 mins I go back in to find out that the receptionist alerted the wrong doctor and therefore I've been left outside for no reason.

I'm then told my doctor is running late hence why I was left for so long but there was no notice of this as there usually is until 5 mins after I've sat down leading me to believe they've had to try and squeeze me in making everyone else late

Not sure if it's unreasonable to complain or if my anxiety and pain is making everything worst

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 09/10/2019 15:30

If I was poorly enough to have to visit my GP I wouldn’t want to listen to a screaming baby. I’d probably end up crying myself.

However you’ve realised you were overreacting as the receptionist couldn’t possibly know you have anxiety, so no harm done.

GPatz · 09/10/2019 15:39

Ah, this must be the place where they are handing out medals for those who don't feel the cold.

Quitedrab · 09/10/2019 15:42

@hesafriendfromwork

The busy receptionist took time from her work to "suggest" the OP wait outside. None of the other patients had that suggestion made to them.

My goodness. There's been plenty of times when I've wanted to "suggest" that people leave shared or public spaces. But I haven't done so because I've assumed it would be high handed and aggressive. How is this different? The only difference is that it's perfectly okay to bully mothers with young children, apparently.

Idontwanttotalk · 09/10/2019 15:49

"I think the reason why I was so upset was because I was at the doctors specifically for a condition made worst by the cold weather but it was still 'suggested' that I go outside"
You wouldn't expect the receptionist to know what you are there for and that cold makes it worse unless you tell her. You didn't tell her, did you?

I think having anxiety has made you over-sensitive. I'm sure things will be fine next time.

Hesafriendfromwork · 09/10/2019 15:53

@Quitedrab being asked to leave and being told if you want to to outside and they will shout you is 2 different things.

OP looked stressed. Receptionist may have thought (incorrectly) that op may have wanted to outside but could as waiting to be called.

Theres no evidence she was asked to leave for any other reason than to try and help out her and her child.

No one bullied anyone. And no one said it was OM to bully a woman with a child

So dramatic.

Quitedrab · 09/10/2019 15:56

@hesafriendfromwork are you the receptionist? You're assuming a lot.

Bluntness100 · 09/10/2019 15:59

I think uou need to assume the receptionist was not aware of your psoriasis, what triggered it, or your anxiety, and that it was so extreme you couldn't say no, she was simply trying to make a helpful suggestion, and coming in to check every few mins would have been fine.

Hesafriendfromwork · 09/10/2019 15:59

What a clever response. Usually given by people who cant have a coherent converstation.

No, you are assuming it was bullying.

Interestedwoman · 09/10/2019 16:06

YANBU, unless your dd was really bad maybe. Babies cry, everyone knows that and that it's probably not your fault. I don't think youshould've been sent out. It's not like the others would've had to put up with her permanently- only briefly.

FrancisCrawford · 09/10/2019 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JemSynergy · 09/10/2019 16:30

You could have said no. There is always a wait when you visit an NHS doctor, I can't remember the last time I had an appointment that ever ran on time.

batvixen123 · 09/10/2019 16:35

Hang on, since when did a crying baby make anyone more ill?

A whole bunch of mental health conditions could be triggered by this. I have an ex with severe PTSD who would not have been able to remain in the waiting room with that noise going on. And, frankly, a screaming baby does make things pretty unpleasant for everyone else, even if they aren't being made unwell.

Tippety · 09/10/2019 16:40

Maybe she thought she was being helpful, ie if you want to go outside I'll make sure you don't miss your appointment. You could have just said no, sometimes I miss working in a public facing role, then I remember nah.

chocorabbit · 09/10/2019 16:42

I have very rarely seen people tutting or eye rolling at crying babies and on the odd occasion it has happened some more sympathetic people have defended the baby and the mother. I hate crying babies but try to be realistic! How utterly dramatic!

Witchend · 09/10/2019 16:53

Next thing I know the receptionist comes to me and 'suggests' that I take my daughter out of the surgery and to walk her around the block but she'll get me when my doctor is ready which will be in 10 mins.

I would have been really grateful for that suggestion when mine were small. You don't dare leave in case you're called when you're waiting, but you know walking round would both calm the baby and you'd give the people in the waiting room a break.
It's more hassle for the receptionist having to go and find you.

And yes, it can genuinely make people worse as any loud and ongoing noise.

Sidge · 09/10/2019 17:01

If it's too bad then I don't believe they didn't have an empty room you could sit in to nurse/ comfort your baby.

You have got to be kidding right? I work in a GP surgery. Like most surgeries we don't have empty rooms - we work to capacity and every room has a member of staff working in them. We don't even have a staff room.

Screaming babies and fractious children are a fact of life at a surgery, but asking someone if they want to wait outside isn't "being asked to leave the doctors". It's someone trying to manage a situation for the benefit of all the patients, and the staff.

Topseyt · 09/10/2019 17:39

It is a very stressful situation all around when this happens. Some people really can't take the noise of a screaming baby due to medical reasons. Some are tolerant and try to help but others simply seem to think that babies simply shouldn't cry at all and that you are a terrible parent if you can't simply switch it off!

I don't think your upset is unreasonable, but the receptionist may also have been in a no-win situation here. I've had crying babies with me too (many years ago now, as mine are virtually all grown up) and it isn't fun. I try to be tolerant of new parents when this happens as I think most of us can remember pretty clearly exactly what it could be like.

The receptionist didn't handle it well, but probably felt she had to do something for the sake of the other people. She went about it in a cack handed way. Chalk it up to experience.

PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks · 09/10/2019 19:32

We are not talking about a small baby, the toddler is 1yo. Not U to expect parents to either stop him from screaming or take him outside - of course if the toddler is crying because he is ill and is waiting to be seen it is dofferent, but that is not the case here.

Vulpine · 09/10/2019 19:39

The one place i would expect to hear a crying baby is in a doctors waiting room. Why are people so intolerant?

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/10/2019 20:02

I just want to say I'm sorry you've had such an awful day. I hope your psoriasis improves.

Frouby · 09/10/2019 20:07

Yanbu OP.

If anyone in the waiting room was upset then the receptionist could have asked them to wait outside instead. A 1 year old isn't to be reasoned with, neither is a toddler or a young child. No one in the waiting room will have known if it was you waiting for an appointment or your baby.

And then to mess your appointment up as well is even worse.

I would complain to the practice manager. It's not on.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 20:10

Are you in the UK? It really isn't cold here.

We've had a couple of bitterly cold days in the NE.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 20:17

You have got to be kidding right? I work in a GP surgery. Like most surgeries we don't have empty rooms - we work to capacity and every room has a member of staff working in them. We don't even have a staff room.

I didn't realise how lucky were at our practice, then - there is at least one spare room because I've been in it with a very spotty and possibly contagious child `(as it turned out, he wasn't, but they were concerned he may have been). They kept a room free for this.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/10/2019 20:19

the toddler is 1yo. Not U to expect parents to ... stop him from screaming

Good luck with that coffee

Hmm
Waiting1987 · 09/10/2019 20:21

I'm irrationally irritated by everyone who is incredulous about the cold. It's 40mph fuking winds here and torrential rain and I'm in the UK. Why is it difficult to comprehend areas hundreds of miles apart could have different weather?

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