AIBU to be angry at being asked to leave doctors

[user1496231209]

I've just got home from a nightmare appointment at the doctors and Im so angry/upset I burst into tears when I got in.
I was waiting for an appointment when my 14 month old DD started screaming. I was walking around trying to calm her down while waiting for our name to pop up and she kept stopping and starting.
Cue the stares and mutters and tuts from others which was making me incredibly anxious.
Next thing I know the receptionist comes to me and 'suggests' that I take my daughter out of the surgery and to walk her around the block but she'll get me when my doctor is ready which will be in 10 mins.
I've got severe psoriasis which is made worst by the cold but I was so shocked that I just agreed and left.
After being left outside for 20 mins I go back in to find out that the receptionist alerted the wrong doctor and therefore I've been left outside for no reason.

I'm then told my doctor is running late hence why I was left for so long but there was no notice of this as there usually is until 5 mins after I've sat down leading me to believe they've had to try and squeeze me in making everyone else late

Not sure if it's unreasonable to complain or if my anxiety and pain is making everything worst

I wish people would rtft- or at least the OP's posts. The OP said over and hour ago that she accepted that she over-reacted, but people are still piling in to say it.

I think they may have been trying to be helpful but when you were stressed out it may have come across wrong. I think being in a doctors office is far less preferable than waiting outside and letting baby wander if possible. They do seem a bit disorganised though.

Ds would find a crying baby distressing leading to difficult physical behaviour and us having to leave without him being seen. It was reasonable for the receptionist to suggest your baby being taken for a walk and in future you could ask if there is anywhere else you could wait. We often ask if there is somewhere private if ds is in an anxious volatile mood.

@beingchampion where does the OP mention grumpy old people?

It sounds like the receptionist was suggesting going outside as a way to calm your baby down rather than a request to move the noise elsewhere, but that's the written account, so it may have come across differently in her tone.

It sounds like everyone had the same goal in mind, but different approaches to achieving it - nobody wrong or right, but everyone dealing with their own stuff which contributed to make an annoying situation worse.

YABU but I can imagine it felt like a nightmare for you!

As someone who’s had to have a baby crying in the same vicinity as my 10 yr old daughter (ASD) yesterday it wasn’t pleasant for anyone. Can’t imagine that when someone feels ill either . Can’t win!

I hope u feel better OP, brush it off :)

I'm a very happy tolerant person OP but turn into a total grouch when unwell.

I hope you feel better soon

I hope you were able to be seen by the doctor in the end. I struggle with anxiety too, and often find myself running situations through my head for hours (days!) on end and reading into people’s tones and words, and generally getting in a state.. So I have a lot of sympathy, but what’s done is done, and I think you need to just put it behind you, have a and some , although I know it’s easier said than done.

OP I hate going to the dr’s for this very reason. My children see it as an opportunity to go for their worst behaviour ever and the surgery is always running late. Even if I dash through the door 30 seconds before my appointment it’s guaranteed I’ll have to wait 10-15 minutes minimum.
I always schedule appointments when the oldest is at school but the youngest has to come with me (he’s 1). Honestly within a minute he’s screaming to get out of the pushchair, throwing the book I brought, demanding a snack etc while I’m desperately trying to shush/soothe him.
The number of stares, sighs, glares I get! I’ve lost count.
The thing is there is only so much I can do and actually they are the ones running late.
Our receptionist keeps a packet of biscuits behind the counter and regularly offer them to younger children. It works wonders. Just that small change could have totally reversed your experience. Maybe leave it as a suggestion!
Hope you feel better soon.

I think the reason why I was so upset was because I was at the doctors specifically for a condition made worst by the cold weather

I have Psoriasis too. It’s not specifically made worse by cold weather at all (do you mean vitamin D? 10/20 mins outside would not affect this). Stress, however exacerbates it and walking outside without ‘stares’ would have been much less stressful.

Your not being unreasonable

You were treated inconsideratly

I hate when people get huffty and uuffty a d assey about babies crying or making noise. We shouldnt have to feel like we have to shut ourselves away at home or hide our children from public spaces just cause asset adults are asses and have no empathy or consideration that if it was not for babies and mother's they and the rest if the world wouldn't exist

OP - AIBU?
MN - Yes probably
OP - OK thanks for feedback, I accept I was BU

followed by 30 more posts telling OP she was BU

I hate when people get huffty and uuffty a d assey about babies crying or making noise.

The majority of people don't mind a bit of noise from a baby if they are feeling well. However, if they are not well it is understandable that they can't tolerate a toddler screaming if it continues fro a while without the mother doing much. It's difficult because OP may not have been feeling well either but that doesn't mean her needs trump everyone elses.

Are you in the UK? It really isn't cold here.

What a stressful morning op, it's awful when that happens, and we've all been there with a child that just won't calm down. And yes, the receptionist, possibly with the best of intentions, made it worse.

I don't think it warrants a formal complaint, but you should definitely treat yourself to something after that. And I hope your psoriasis clears up soon

Well, I think it's outrageous you were asked to go outside! A baby is a human who has every right to be in a waiting room! Other people are free to wait outside if they find the crying annoying! I'm really disappointed with the responses here. It's like internalized misbabyny.

@Quitedrab it appears she wasnt asked to go outside.
It was suggested that if she wanted to go outside, they would call her.

Lots of people would want to go outside. If she was looking stressed they may have thought they were helping.

don't know where some of you are but its cold here and the rain is torrential at times. And yes I'm in the UK.

Just to let you know, I've seen this thread and your post on a big Facebook group about the same topic. Just giving you a heads up in case you didn't want to be outed.

Also, I have psoriasis too and mine is made worse by abrupt changes to the weather (among other things) so I really do sympathise.

I have psoriasis and I've never found that it's made worse by cold weather or heard anyone else say that, so I can understand why the receptionist wouldn't have made the connection.

I completely understand that you were stressed and anxious but you're making quite a big deal over a small mistake. I think it would be better if you just let this one go.

I can't over the other poster who was asked to stand outside with a crying baby as the receptionist couldn't hear the people calling the surgery, and refused. To that poster, that is unreasonable!

It’s baltic where I am , btw!

i get the issue, psoriasis is awful, it makes you feel irritated and frustrated ALL THE TIME, where other people might cope with a crying baby when you put this on top of it its stressful. People say 'oh its not that bad' it actually is...the continual itching, pain, and the feeling of it that makes you miserable all the time. I get what you are saying OP my sympathies are with you.

Hang on, since when did a crying baby make anyone more ill? It's par for the course of using public services and it's extremely rude to tut and eye roll at a 14 month old baby getting upset.

The world isn't quiet unfortunately. If you're so ill that a crying baby will 'send you over the edge' take a pair of ear phones with you.

I've had to sit waiting longer than my appointment time on a few occasions and listen to someone coughing over and over really loudly yet I've never eye rolled at them or tutted and the receptionist has certainly never asked that person to go and wait outside.

Maybe instead of dismissing a patient like that, the receptionist could have pointed in the direction of the toys or brought some over. No one ever wants to help, all they want to do is sit in judgement and it's so sad. I have seen a mother struggling with a 2 year old having a major tantrum and I have gone over with my car keys, quickly asking the mum if it's ok first, and said oh look at these and spoken to them and interacted with them to get them curious and just help basically. I have a 2 year old son myself and it's really stressful going to an appointment where they usually end up making you wait 20 minutes past your appointment time

"The world isn't quiet unfortunately. If you're so ill that a crying baby will 'send you over the edge' take a pair of ear phones with you."

Unfortunately some people like my son can't tolerate ear phones. I wouldn't expect the op to go outside. I would have to take/pull my son outside if there was nowhere else to wait but saying it is just a bit of noise that doesn't really bother anyone is incorrect.