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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To point out a friend's mistake

134 replies

SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 13:45

Firstly please don't think I'm one of those people who pulls people up on spelling, grammar etc. God knows I'm not perfect!

But this morning, a close friend of mine (we're a group of 4, and all really close to each other) posted a Facebook status, saying she had a near miss, as someone pulled out on her. She included a bit of dash cam footage (which I personally think wasn't actually that bad - the driver was quite a bit in front, plus she was speeding, so if she'd been doing the limit it wouldn't have mattered.. but that's not the point).

She put in her post "Do people not know that the drivers who are ALREADY ON THE FUCKING ROAD have the right-away?"

I "sad-faced" her status, and commented saying "Hugs, hope you're okay! Think you mean right of way though lovely, hahaha xxxxx"

Now, we are close. It never crossed my mind that this wouldn't be an acceptable thing to put. We post funny things on each other's statuses all the time, with no problem whatsoever. She calls me out if I post a photo where I look a bit shit (I'm not the sharing type and only really post group shots, and I don't care what I look like in them).

I always find it quite amusing when people think a phrase is something completely different, and I genuinely thought she'd reply something like "Haha oh yeah I'm such a knob xx" because that's what we do!

Instead, she inboxed me saying how dare I embarrass her in front of her friends and family, and did I do it to feel good about myself, and prove I was better and cleverer than her. She said she felt bullied and wondered why she'd even be friends with someone who would do that.

I deleted my comment straightaway and said sorry, no offence meant, it was just a joke. And then I said I'd said something wrong for years and was eventually corrected and found it really funny (I always heard prima donna as pre-madonna and thought it referred to people who were famous before Madonna.. funny right!) so I though she'd find it funny too to learn what the phrase really was.

She has now BLOCKED me, and her boyfriend has messaged me saying she's in tears, and that I was a bitch for writing the comment.

Am I on another planet here, or is this up there with the biggest overreactions of all time?

I'm posting here as I don't want to get any of our mutual friends involved, and I can always trust MumsNet to tell me if I'm right or being an idiot!

I honestly can't see that I did anything wrong.

Also it's not like she crashed or was hurt. She was doing 37mph in a 30, and had to brake a bit faster than normal. Literally no harm done, and if anything she was the one in the wrong, though I'm aware that's not the point.

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 08/10/2019 16:01

I think you were right to tell her, I would have added that it was her own fault too she could have hurt someone.

RavenLG · 08/10/2019 16:01

I think I'd eye roll at everything you've posted to be honest.

-Posting the video on social media is attention seeking, she really didn't need to share it.

-Your comment, while correct could have been left due to the nature of the (unnecessary) post.
-Her reaction was completely over the top and pathetic for a grown woman.

I'd just ignore for a few days then text her asking if she was feeling better. If she's still got the arses fuck her, she sounds like a bit of a bellend anyway.

Ozziewozzie · 08/10/2019 16:03

Personally, if you’d pointed that out to me, I wouldn’t have been upset at all.
I feel your friend has massively over reacted. I appreciate she may have felt stressed but feeling stressed doesn’t give you the freedom to turn full pelt into someone as she did.

I had a friend like this and sadly, over the years, she’s now become friendless.

SunshineCake · 08/10/2019 16:12

I suspect this isn't the first time you have had to grovel to her.

She was speeding which makes her a twat.

She isn't very bright as doesn't know the phrase which makes her a muppet.

She has blocked you which makes her immature

And as for getting a boyfriend to message you I am embarrassed for her

I am embarrassed for her.

Leave it for now if you want to stay friends just carry on with your life and see what occurs. If you don't then don't.

Chloemol · 08/10/2019 16:16

I think she’s over reacting, probably due to a near miss that could have possibly been avoided. I would go back to her BF and say that you were trying to be lighthearted, you apologise and hope she accepts your apology and leave her to come back to you

If she doesn’t then she’s not much of a friend, and sounds very childish anyway

Orgyofsausages · 08/10/2019 16:18

It's true. Infantile and imbecilic is the new norm.

slipperywhensparticus · 08/10/2019 16:20

Just respond to her boyfriend, I'm embarrassed for you both

longtompot · 08/10/2019 16:21

Massive overreaction by your friend. I will say our dashcam does make cars look much further away than they are, so some near misses don't look quite as close as when they are happening at the time.

Jux · 08/10/2019 16:31

Has she become a BOC since she had this boyfriend. He doesn't sound up to much either, and maybe he's encouraging her.

I would have found it funny too.

BlackCatSleeping · 08/10/2019 16:37

You know what they say? Timing is everything. It was obviously not the time for that kind of joke. I’d apologize and leave her to calm down a bit.

KatyCarrCan · 08/10/2019 16:46

She wanted support, you felt the need to correct her language. YWBU

tbh I don't think there's ever a good time to correct someone in public like that.

pictish · 08/10/2019 16:49

She sounds like a dick. I’m on your side.

Dieu · 08/10/2019 16:49

She's a twat.

sleepylittlebunnies · 08/10/2019 16:56

Massive over reaction from her, if she felt shown up a simple ‘thanks for the correction English teacher’ would have sufficed. If I’d felt the need to correct her I’d have probably replied along the lines of ‘so many drivers don’t know who has the right of way’ and hoped she’d pick up on it.

Her boyfriend’s message calling you a bitch is pretty aggressive and uncalled for. Does she really need him to get involved? It’s a bit daft mind to put dash cam footage of herself speeding on FB, not the brightest idea.

ChicCroissant · 08/10/2019 17:04

I mean, everyone who read it most probably knew she'd made a mistake, even if they didn't say anything!

Exactly - they didn't say anything! I think there is fault on both sides here, she overreacted but if she was sympathy-seeking it was never going to go down well pointing out a fault that you say yourself everyone else noticed but didn't comment on.

PuzzledObserver · 08/10/2019 17:05

I think you misjudged the situation - but we can all be guilty of that at times. You weren't being malicious, and immediately apologised and deleted the comment. Unreasonable of her not to accept that.

One single incident is not bullying. If you had done it before, and she told you she didn't like it, and you persisted in doing it, that would be bullying.

So - I think she's overreacted. Depending on how much you value her as a friend, you could either leave her a day or two to calm down and then contact her repeating your apology, or just leave it and see if she contacts you.

Personally I wouldn't be keen on spending time with someone who called me a bitch.

Lemonlady22 · 08/10/2019 17:05

id text back and tell her whoever pulled out in front of her did her a favour, she may have hit an innocent child with her speeding!...then tell her to grow up!

ALongHardWinter · 08/10/2019 17:06

Sounds like she's one of these people who can dish it out but can't take it back.

INeedAFlerken · 08/10/2019 17:08

If lots of people were pointing out that she herself was speeding and a danger on the road, I wouldn't give it another thought.

Massively overreacted, especially as you point out she's always been happy to point out where you look shit in photos online ... not much difference there ... she's happy to dish out crap but not take a lighthearted correction? ANd then sic her boyfriend on you verbally.

Sounds like you may be well rid of the bullying babies.

ClemDanFango · 08/10/2019 17:10

Fucking hell just sack it off it’s ridiculous! Why do you care what she thinks? She’s clearly an attention seeking dick head. Be thankful she’s out of your life.

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 08/10/2019 17:12

Oh ffs - she's a total snowflake.
What an over-reaction!

YANBU

mcmooberry · 08/10/2019 17:16

She sounds dreadful, leave her to it.

UnoriginalUserName948 · 08/10/2019 17:22

She sounds hard work to be honest.

whomovedmychocolate · 08/10/2019 17:28

She's a drama queen. You are well rid of her. Just don't let her run you over tomorrow Wink

Leflic · 08/10/2019 17:28

SunshineCake has it. She sounds really unpleasant.

I despise people who put this sort of nonsense on Facebook. Reversing down the motorway is one thing, but everybody has fucked up on the roads once or twice. It’s why we need car insurance.
It would be fine if she was grateful for making it without a crash or whatever but she’s clearly just interested in “ being right” hence taking offence at you post correcting her.

Feel free to correct offence or offence or whatever!