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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To point out a friend's mistake

134 replies

SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 13:45

Firstly please don't think I'm one of those people who pulls people up on spelling, grammar etc. God knows I'm not perfect!

But this morning, a close friend of mine (we're a group of 4, and all really close to each other) posted a Facebook status, saying she had a near miss, as someone pulled out on her. She included a bit of dash cam footage (which I personally think wasn't actually that bad - the driver was quite a bit in front, plus she was speeding, so if she'd been doing the limit it wouldn't have mattered.. but that's not the point).

She put in her post "Do people not know that the drivers who are ALREADY ON THE FUCKING ROAD have the right-away?"

I "sad-faced" her status, and commented saying "Hugs, hope you're okay! Think you mean right of way though lovely, hahaha xxxxx"

Now, we are close. It never crossed my mind that this wouldn't be an acceptable thing to put. We post funny things on each other's statuses all the time, with no problem whatsoever. She calls me out if I post a photo where I look a bit shit (I'm not the sharing type and only really post group shots, and I don't care what I look like in them).

I always find it quite amusing when people think a phrase is something completely different, and I genuinely thought she'd reply something like "Haha oh yeah I'm such a knob xx" because that's what we do!

Instead, she inboxed me saying how dare I embarrass her in front of her friends and family, and did I do it to feel good about myself, and prove I was better and cleverer than her. She said she felt bullied and wondered why she'd even be friends with someone who would do that.

I deleted my comment straightaway and said sorry, no offence meant, it was just a joke. And then I said I'd said something wrong for years and was eventually corrected and found it really funny (I always heard prima donna as pre-madonna and thought it referred to people who were famous before Madonna.. funny right!) so I though she'd find it funny too to learn what the phrase really was.

She has now BLOCKED me, and her boyfriend has messaged me saying she's in tears, and that I was a bitch for writing the comment.

Am I on another planet here, or is this up there with the biggest overreactions of all time?

I'm posting here as I don't want to get any of our mutual friends involved, and I can always trust MumsNet to tell me if I'm right or being an idiot!

I honestly can't see that I did anything wrong.

Also it's not like she crashed or was hurt. She was doing 37mph in a 30, and had to brake a bit faster than normal. Literally no harm done, and if anything she was the one in the wrong, though I'm aware that's not the point.

OP posts:
Bellatrix14 · 08/10/2019 14:07

It was a bit insensitive of you to correct her publicly over something that doesn’t really matter, but she is huuuuuuuugely overreacting. ‘Right-away’ doesn’t even make sense!

If you were feeling really ‘bitchy’ you’d have called her out on the fact that if she hadn’t been speeding it wouldn’t have mattered so maybe she should consider driving more carefully next time. If this is how she reacts to you correcting her grammar I’d have paid good money to see her response to that Wink

MiddleClassProblem · 08/10/2019 14:08

I think she is overreacting but YABU too.

The difference between her post and your photos is that you know you’re posting shit pics of yourself but she didn’t know she’d made a mistake so you embarrassed her publicly. She will be feeling embarrassed she didn’t know the right term and embarrassed other people are now fully aware of that too.

Blocking was extreme and her bf needs to calm his pants too. But maybe they wind each other up a bit on the offended department.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 08/10/2019 14:08

Have you corrected her a few times lately? I ditched a "friend" on Facebook who seemed to comment something all smug and superior on almost every post of mine. I got fed up of it.

gubbsywubbsy · 08/10/2019 14:09

That's funny ... what a snowflake she is 🙄🙄

ReadyPayerTwo · 08/10/2019 14:09

I think taken out of context it would probably be ok but I'd imagine she was feeling a bit raw when she posted and your comment was the opposite of what she was probably expecting.

MNersAreBatshit · 08/10/2019 14:09

YWNBU to write the comment.

YWBU to delete it, and to give a shit about her precious overreaction

AlunWynsKnee · 08/10/2019 14:09

You say she calls you out if you post an unflattering picture of yourself online. What sort of thing?

GettingABitDesperateNow · 08/10/2019 14:10

It was a bit rude to correct her publically but she could have just replied 'all right, grammar police!' or something. Blocking you, refusing to accept your apology, getting her boyfriend to have a go at you, and crying about a facebook post on grammar is a complete and utter over reaction. Does she normally act like a 12 year old drama queen?

firelightbright · 08/10/2019 14:11

She's been silly you corrected a comment not her driving! You've apologised so leave it now and wait for her to reach out to you. Is she always this dramatic?

Penelopeschat · 08/10/2019 14:12

@SunshineAngel - her reaction was way over the top. And what she has done subsequently (blocking, bf getting in touch) is especially so. The challenge with people like this friend is they don’t see how other people see them. The footage and post likely had a few people thinking like you, they can’t see that, they think they have been wronged and need support. What you saw happens all the time to drivers, no one bats an eyelid. With things like this I’ve generally learned to let people have their moment, knowing full well there will be lots of eye rolling they won’t see.
I’m sure you are very upset. I hope it blows over and your other group members stay level and normal. She may try to put a spin on this for sympathy. Just be breezy about it, explain you apologized and are sorry she’s hurt and just want to learn from it and move on. Letting people know you are concerned but mature and level headed will ensure they see her reaction as what it is, overly dramatic for the situation. Good luck!

messolini9 · 08/10/2019 14:13

She said she felt bullied and wondered why she'd even be friends with someone who would do that.

I'm wondering why you'd even be friends with someone who "calls you out for looking a bit shit" in photos, frankly.

She can obviously give it out but not take it, & her reaction is absurd. I couldn't be arsed with that level of preciousness.

underground76 · 08/10/2019 14:14

She is being absurdly oversensitive and melodramatic, particularly after you messaged her to apologise and explain.

There was, however, really no need for you say anything about her mistake. It's only Facebook and people make stupid mistakes on there all the time. If you're going to gently take the piss, don't do it when someone is clearly already annoyed and upset. It's a bit like someone posting 'She's with the angles now' about their dead grandma and their friend saying 'Aw, thinking of you (but I think you meant 'angels', LOL)'. It's just not the right time, is it?

My job is writing, editing and proofreading, but I don't go around highlighting people's mistakes on social media. Apart from anything, I make mistakes myself too - everyone does.

Morgan12 · 08/10/2019 14:14

I would not be pandering to such behaviour. Leave her to it.

ShirleyPhallus · 08/10/2019 14:15

Have you done this before? It may well be the straw that broke the camels back for her

Grumpelstilskin · 08/10/2019 14:19

She sounds like an attention-seeking princess. Completely OTT, both her FB status and reaction since.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/10/2019 14:20

Your timing doesn’t sound good but her reaction seems extreme.

PullingMySocksUp · 08/10/2019 14:22

She only had to brake a bit, I don’t see she’d had that bad a morning.

Philmitchell · 08/10/2019 14:22

She sounds like an absolute snowflake.

Lilyannarose · 08/10/2019 14:24

I don't know about anyone else, but I make the most stupid mistakes with my grammar when I'm upset or stressed!
I look back on it after, see my obvious error and think, "Why on earth did I type that?".
Thankfully no-one has ever pulled me up on it yet!

QueenofPain · 08/10/2019 14:24

Had a similar thing where someone I know who works in a shop posted something aimed at some shoplifters they’d had in that night who’d dropped a bag of drugs as they left. She’d addressed it “fellow shoplifters, if you want your drugs back you better bring all that stuff back...”.

I pointed out that “fellow shoplifters” made it sound like she’d been on the rob too, she replied with some irrelevant comment about people who work hard for a living, and I said “never mind, was just a joke”, and she said “well thanks for the English lesson”.

Fecking hell mate, you crack on with yer fellow shoplifters.

loobyloo1234 · 08/10/2019 14:24

She blocked you for that? Confused She sounds unhinged

Nicolastuffedone · 08/10/2019 14:25

She doesn’t know what being bullied is does she?

Ghostontoast · 08/10/2019 14:25

I get it - she can make digs at you but if you do it to her she has a tantrum!

Is she the queen bee of the group of 4, or is it a group of 3 and you!

lottiegarbanzo · 08/10/2019 14:27

There's nothing funny about correcting someone.

She was feeling upset and you gave her something else to feel upset about.

(The fact I'd have been tempted to post 'Maybe you shouldn't have beeen speeding, eh? Need to work on those reaction times?' is neither here nor there).

The rule is, don't interact with drama llamas, unless to offer them the unconditional attention they crave.

chipsychopsy · 08/10/2019 14:28

Her superiority on the road, the posting of dashcam footage on Facebook (Hmm), the response to your comment and the fact her boyfriend involves himself in her dramas all points to someone I wouldn't want to be friends with.