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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To point out a friend's mistake

134 replies

SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 13:45

Firstly please don't think I'm one of those people who pulls people up on spelling, grammar etc. God knows I'm not perfect!

But this morning, a close friend of mine (we're a group of 4, and all really close to each other) posted a Facebook status, saying she had a near miss, as someone pulled out on her. She included a bit of dash cam footage (which I personally think wasn't actually that bad - the driver was quite a bit in front, plus she was speeding, so if she'd been doing the limit it wouldn't have mattered.. but that's not the point).

She put in her post "Do people not know that the drivers who are ALREADY ON THE FUCKING ROAD have the right-away?"

I "sad-faced" her status, and commented saying "Hugs, hope you're okay! Think you mean right of way though lovely, hahaha xxxxx"

Now, we are close. It never crossed my mind that this wouldn't be an acceptable thing to put. We post funny things on each other's statuses all the time, with no problem whatsoever. She calls me out if I post a photo where I look a bit shit (I'm not the sharing type and only really post group shots, and I don't care what I look like in them).

I always find it quite amusing when people think a phrase is something completely different, and I genuinely thought she'd reply something like "Haha oh yeah I'm such a knob xx" because that's what we do!

Instead, she inboxed me saying how dare I embarrass her in front of her friends and family, and did I do it to feel good about myself, and prove I was better and cleverer than her. She said she felt bullied and wondered why she'd even be friends with someone who would do that.

I deleted my comment straightaway and said sorry, no offence meant, it was just a joke. And then I said I'd said something wrong for years and was eventually corrected and found it really funny (I always heard prima donna as pre-madonna and thought it referred to people who were famous before Madonna.. funny right!) so I though she'd find it funny too to learn what the phrase really was.

She has now BLOCKED me, and her boyfriend has messaged me saying she's in tears, and that I was a bitch for writing the comment.

Am I on another planet here, or is this up there with the biggest overreactions of all time?

I'm posting here as I don't want to get any of our mutual friends involved, and I can always trust MumsNet to tell me if I'm right or being an idiot!

I honestly can't see that I did anything wrong.

Also it's not like she crashed or was hurt. She was doing 37mph in a 30, and had to brake a bit faster than normal. Literally no harm done, and if anything she was the one in the wrong, though I'm aware that's not the point.

OP posts:
Drabarni · 08/10/2019 14:52

What a baby, inbox the bf saying she needs to get a backbone or he'll have a ft job telling her friends how they've managed to upset the little princess.

MintyMabel · 08/10/2019 14:54

Are ALL the CAPITALS really necessary in your posts? Do you know that is the internet equivalent of shouting?

Butterflycookie · 08/10/2019 14:55

You did nothing wrong! She’s such a snowflake..

TheCanterburyWhales · 08/10/2019 14:55

You both sound immature tbf.
What you did was unkind She's gone off on a strop. She wasn't bullied, no But anyone (and there will now be a flurry) who thinks it's ever OK to publicly correct anyone else's English needs a head wobble.

Bezalelle · 08/10/2019 14:57

I swear, social media will be the death of us as a species.

PurpleTrilby · 08/10/2019 15:01

Aside from the correcting spelling stuff, she's a bully on the road, clearly!! No, it's not okay to be 7 miles per hour over the limit, at best she's had a near miss because of her speeding arrogance. Could easily have cost her 3 points on her licence. At worst, someone jumps out in the road while she's speeding and she kills them because fatality rates directly correlate to the speed drivers are doing. That's why it's 20mph near schools. I bet she bitches about that, too. AND, this is key, nobody has "right of way" on roads, it's a total myth. As an ex-police driver said to me, it's not right of way, it's "priority". She's made that shit up about right of way if "you're on the road first", as well. What, so a blue-lit ambulance has to give way to my car? There's any number of situations where priority is not as you'd normally expect. Does she know horses automatically have priority, so if she was 'on the road first' it doesn't matter in the least? She was speeding, she broke a very necessary law and now she wants all the sympathy, while not even being able to spell the thing she doesn't understand is WRONG about driving laws. But oh no, you're in the wrong for a stupid joke. Send her a copy of the highway code and wish her a happy life. See, if she was my friend, it would not be a friendship to have lasted long. ;)

GracefulHare · 08/10/2019 15:08

Oh FFS, yet another example of 'friends' falling out over Facebook. She sounds awful & you should just back off & leave her to it. You don't think you've done anything wrong. Her & her boyfriend (& probably the rest of her Facebook 'friends') think you have & obviously live for the drama...all posted on Facebook of course.
This is why I can't stand Facebook, brace yourself for all the cryptic "I know who my real friends are" posts laterGrin

ButtonMoonLoon · 08/10/2019 15:10

She had a near miss so was probably quite shaken up and unsettled. So that would explain the overreaction, people don’t tend to respond ‘normally’ to things they might otherwise when they’re in a bit of a state.

Straycatstrut · 08/10/2019 15:11

Another post making me glad I'm FB-free. Honestly what is the appeal again?

My first reaction OP was that she's massively over-reacting, and she is, if that's the main reason she's upset. I think it probably isn't and she's lashing out and using it as an excuse. She also clearly was in no mood for humour and seeking sympathy and loving attention.

Also, I used to loathe people correcting people. I'd be reading the comments and all of a sudden there would be one: "Actually I think you mean THIS hahahaha!!" no matter how many smilies and lol's thrown in there, it looks like you're trying to embarrass the person and make them look stupid. Even if people appear to "lol it off smileysmileysmileykisskisskiss" they're probably actually really embarrassed.

But you've apologised now, there's nothing more you can do. I do think she's having other emotional issues so I'd let CIO and come back to you when she's ready.

lazylinguist · 08/10/2019 15:11

She sounds like a drama queen, but you were wrong to correct her - it was rude and unnecessary. Also, it was a correction, not a 'joke'. Putting 'hahahaha' after something doesn't turn it into a joke.

bookwormsforever · 08/10/2019 15:11

She shouldn't have been speeding. She over-reacted. Her boyfriend has messaged you? Are they 12???

Leave her be. Don't apologise any more. Dramatic attention-seeking drama llama.

Nottheduchess · 08/10/2019 15:15

You corrected her as a joke? Weird sense of humour. There’s nothing funny in correcting someone surely? It’s quite patronising. I often see things, gramma, spellings etc that I know are wrong and I’d love to correct....but I don’t, because it’s shit.

Figgygal · 08/10/2019 15:16

She's totally over reacted but she's coming from a place of upset so timing wasn't ideal op

KokiriForest · 08/10/2019 15:17

I think she already embarrassed herself, you were just rubbing salt into the wound.

LonginesPrime · 08/10/2019 15:20

It was dickish to correct her mistake, especially publicly, and when she was already upset.

She should have let your comment speak for itself as it says more about you than her. Instead she has chosen to overreact massively.

I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook - you're all quite mad.

GlitteredAcorns · 08/10/2019 15:24

What a pair of drama llamas

GeePipe · 08/10/2019 15:29

She sounds like an ex mate of mine actually. Normal banter for years then one day she went off at me on messenger for no reason and deleted me and we havent spoken since. Some people are just weird and change for no reason. Also she is an absolute dick for speeding then pretending something awful happened to her.

NatashaRomanov · 08/10/2019 15:33

She's a drama queen and should be more worried about someone taking her dashcam footage and hanging it in as proof of her speeding!

Notajogger · 08/10/2019 15:33

She almost causes an accident by speeding, posts about it on Facebook for who knows what reason and then completely overreacts to a comment from you. She sounds like a massive drama queen and I couldn't be doing with it if I were you!

Rachelle11 · 08/10/2019 15:39

You both sound awful. Why is it funny to point out someone's grammar? And why would it be ok to tell someone they look like crap in a picture?

Skyecat · 08/10/2019 15:44

So she can dish it out (being horrible about photos of you) but not take it?

Whenthereslovethereshope · 08/10/2019 15:48

It is a massive over-reaction. I wouldn't wanna be friends with someone like that. I certainly understand it hurts when someone so close reacts like this. I know how hard it is to find good friends but having her BF texts you and say shes in tears and you were bitch to comment like that, is literally OTT. I would never involve my DH and use him as my voice to my friends.

Probably just take a step back and let her get over herself. If (as you put it) wasn't hurt from her 'near and death' experience then I would just give her some space to clear her head. Don't bother texting anymore as you have already apologized and showed you're a bigger person than she is. Try not to give this matter too much wind among your other friends too as who knows what drama she will create there.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 08/10/2019 15:51

Why would someone be shaken up after someone pulls out in front of them?

Is she a new driver because let's be honest, It's not an a irregular occurrence?

She should have been paying attention to other drivers not Driving at 37 in a 30 mph zone.

Snoopypoopy123 · 08/10/2019 15:57

YABU for saying "she inboxed me"

FizzyIce · 08/10/2019 15:57

@Bezalelle it’s already been the death of a billion brain cells