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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To point out a friend's mistake

134 replies

SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 13:45

Firstly please don't think I'm one of those people who pulls people up on spelling, grammar etc. God knows I'm not perfect!

But this morning, a close friend of mine (we're a group of 4, and all really close to each other) posted a Facebook status, saying she had a near miss, as someone pulled out on her. She included a bit of dash cam footage (which I personally think wasn't actually that bad - the driver was quite a bit in front, plus she was speeding, so if she'd been doing the limit it wouldn't have mattered.. but that's not the point).

She put in her post "Do people not know that the drivers who are ALREADY ON THE FUCKING ROAD have the right-away?"

I "sad-faced" her status, and commented saying "Hugs, hope you're okay! Think you mean right of way though lovely, hahaha xxxxx"

Now, we are close. It never crossed my mind that this wouldn't be an acceptable thing to put. We post funny things on each other's statuses all the time, with no problem whatsoever. She calls me out if I post a photo where I look a bit shit (I'm not the sharing type and only really post group shots, and I don't care what I look like in them).

I always find it quite amusing when people think a phrase is something completely different, and I genuinely thought she'd reply something like "Haha oh yeah I'm such a knob xx" because that's what we do!

Instead, she inboxed me saying how dare I embarrass her in front of her friends and family, and did I do it to feel good about myself, and prove I was better and cleverer than her. She said she felt bullied and wondered why she'd even be friends with someone who would do that.

I deleted my comment straightaway and said sorry, no offence meant, it was just a joke. And then I said I'd said something wrong for years and was eventually corrected and found it really funny (I always heard prima donna as pre-madonna and thought it referred to people who were famous before Madonna.. funny right!) so I though she'd find it funny too to learn what the phrase really was.

She has now BLOCKED me, and her boyfriend has messaged me saying she's in tears, and that I was a bitch for writing the comment.

Am I on another planet here, or is this up there with the biggest overreactions of all time?

I'm posting here as I don't want to get any of our mutual friends involved, and I can always trust MumsNet to tell me if I'm right or being an idiot!

I honestly can't see that I did anything wrong.

Also it's not like she crashed or was hurt. She was doing 37mph in a 30, and had to brake a bit faster than normal. Literally no harm done, and if anything she was the one in the wrong, though I'm aware that's not the point.

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 08/10/2019 14:29

I personally wouldn't have done it on FB like that however she's massively over reacted

CalmdownJanet · 08/10/2019 14:30

Well herself and her boyfriend sound like drama queens but no you shouldn't have said anything and made yourself look a bit knobbish

aintnutinchanged · 08/10/2019 14:30

I don't think what you said was in anyway out of order, however I also thought (until reading your post) that it was a pre Madonna 😂😂

anyoneseenmykeys · 08/10/2019 14:30

Your friend is an idiot, and a massive attention-seeker by the sound of it.

Let her cool down. If you want stay friends, you can always send her a card, even flowers in a day or 2, apologising as you didn't mean to offend and it was a stressful time for her.

I personally would just ignore her and wait until she gets back in touch with you, which she will eventually. She sounds tiring.

FedUpMum40 · 08/10/2019 14:30

How will she reacts if someone points out that she was going to fast in the first place? Would she block them?
I hav ehad people correct me I just give the middle finger with a lol

FrogsAreMean · 08/10/2019 14:32

I'm just sat here wondering what BOC is.....Confused

Teddybear45 · 08/10/2019 14:32

Sounds like she’s only happy with being called out in public when she’s doing it. Don’t apologise and stick to your guns. You don’t need a manipulative friend like this in your life

NotSorry · 08/10/2019 14:35

I saw someone use rest-bite the other day on Facebook instead of respite - I had to sit on my hands, I don’t think I would have corrected her

Windydaysuponus · 08/10/2019 14:35

Wonder how she even got a license tbh...
You are well rid op. Block her and her bf.

Original poster
SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 14:36

To all asking - there was NOTHING else going on with us. I DO NOT usually correct people's mistakes.

I understand it might sound a little harsh given she may well have been shaken up BUT there were plenty of comments already, and by the time I commented she was already making light of it as the post had gone off on various tangents, as is normal on social media. It's not like I was the first one to comment and just hit her with it.

Some comments also called her out for the speeding, but I have no idea if she responded to those people privately.

Perhaps the issue is just perception. I wouldn't give a shit if someone corrected me, but maybe I need to think that perhaps other people do care. I don't understand why, though. I mean, everyone who read it most probably knew she'd made a mistake, even if they didn't say anything!

OP posts:
macmustard · 08/10/2019 14:36

Commenting that was a bit weird, but then so is telling someone they look shit.

Blocking you and her boyfriend contacting you is another level of nutcase though.

NurseButtercup · 08/10/2019 14:37

She has now BLOCKED me, and her boyfriend has messaged me saying she's in tears, and that I was a bitch for writing the comment.

Unless there's a massive background story and you do this all the time, yanbu and this is a massive overaction especially her boyfriend getting involved. But it's Fakebook and people are extremely irrational on there.

Original poster
SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 14:37

@FrogsAreMean Boring Old Cunt. I learned it the other day and am happy with my new word, ha ha. Not so happy with the fact that my DSS called his nan one though! Thank god she didn't know what it meant either!

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineAngel · 08/10/2019 14:39

@NurseButtercup No backstory whatsoever. We're good, we're close, never been any drama or ill feeling. That's partly why I'm so utterly confused now. We have banter all the time, and I know people have commented saying it's weird that she says I look shit in some pictures, but it doesn't bother me, as it's just what we're like, it's our relationship, which is why I never thought on this planet that what I said would have upset her.

I wouldn't make such comments to other people, obviously, I just thought I knew this friendship better than I clearly do!

OP posts:
redcarbluecar · 08/10/2019 14:41

Whilst i think it’s a bit unnecessary to correct other people in the way you did (and I also suspect she is insecure about her written expression), I think she overreacted. To ask you to remove the post, or to tell you it had annoyed you, would be one thing. The rest (bullying, blocking, message from her BF etc) sounds way over the top and makes me wonder if she had some pre-existing grouch with you, which this triggered.
Anyway you’ve done what you can with your apology and deletion. I wouldn’t contact her again - leave the ball
In her court.

Summersend4 · 08/10/2019 14:43

It could have been an autocorrect mistake - hopefully she’ll quietly unblock you when she’s calmed down . Perhaps best not to jump on these kind of things in future - nobody really likes to be made to look like an idiot

Minioooons · 08/10/2019 14:44

it doesnt matter whether you think it was a minor accident. the fact is someone was upset and you took the opportunity to be bitchy in a very passive aggressive way. I can't think how you would think that it was the appropriate time to make such a comment unless you are clueless on tact. you did it in a public place for all to see. So even though she might have overreacted, you came across looking like a twat for doing that.

Brefugee · 08/10/2019 14:45

just drop her a note saying you thought you'd lighten things up and you're sorry.

If she unblocks you all is good. Until the next time she writes something mean on one of your photos then you call her out in public, in private, block her and have your BF send her a video of you doing ugly crying over it.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 08/10/2019 14:45

Maybe she was a bit sensitive because people were calling her out on speeding etc, but she's chosen your comment to lash out at because you guys are close.

FizzyIce · 08/10/2019 14:46

This is such a non event I can’t believe either of you are that bothered about it .
Jesus..

Lulualla · 08/10/2019 14:48

Everyone would have seen her mistake so she embarrassed herself. You didn't embarrass her. At least now she knows and she can correct it. Most people laugh at that stuff behind the person's back.

DriftingLeaves · 08/10/2019 14:49

In tears?

Forget her. Much too much hard work.

ChuckleBuckles · 08/10/2019 14:49

I know people have commented saying it's weird that she says I look shit in some pictures, but it doesn't bother me, as it's just what we're like, it's our relationship

So the nature of the your relationship is that she says shit and you have to tolerate it, or let me guess, you have no sense of humour? I agree with the pp who asked if she is a queen bee type. Ignore her and her lapdog boyfriend and their collective hysteria.

Also I am cackling at "pre-madonna"

Fifthtimelucky · 08/10/2019 14:49

I would never correct anyone's grammar etc publicly. Privately is another matter.

I once had a quiet word with my boss after we had been in a meeting and she mispronounced a word. It took me some time to realise what she actually meant and I think others were also puzzled. She was grateful to have been told so that she didn't make the same mistake again.

CSIblonde · 08/10/2019 14:50

She's obviously a bit sensitive about her education & English skills so you hit a sore spot & did so publicly. I'd apologise. And I'd wouldnt have have even bothered pointing it out publicly either, it's such a minor thing & endearing mistakes like that are just who people are. Picking up on such a minor thing sends the message you have a need to be right.

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