To have called in to work when child

[CheeseAndBeans]

Mum of two, youngest is 3 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. I have recently returned to work part time on her nursery days after a few years out so am doubting myself and unsure of what's right....

DD was sick all through the night Saturday night, as per 48 hour rule she couldn't go to nursery yesterday and couldn't get anyone else to have her. She still wasn't right in herself. Called work 1.5 hours before shift was due to start and explained I couldn't come in as had to look after sick child. They were not happy and tried to guilt me into coming in, apologized as nothing I could do but would be in tomorrow as she is on the mend. This morning, she seems ok and no more sick so we all get ready to go, as we walk out the door she throws up! Obviously can't send her again today so had to call work. Again, they made it clear they weren't happy, it's busy today and short staffed as it is. Apologized and explained I couldn't do anything else.

I work in a minimum wage job, 4 hours a day, it's a pain when someone can't come in as others have to pick up the slack and I feel terrible but what can I do?
OH works 12 hour shifts and is much better paid. We would be so much worse off if he didn't go in, my thoughts are we have to put our family income first and so it's me that should take the time off. Neither of us would get paid for the time we didn't work. A friend this morning mentioned she would have shared the days with her OH but they are both in similar paid jobs.

What would you have done? What do others do if their kids are sick? As I said, am new to being a working parent!

People go off sick from work. People have family emergencies and sick kids. These things happen when you employ people. Workplaces need to be able to cope with that.

I’ve made myself physically and mentally ill and put work ahead of other priorities loads of time in the past. It’s not worth it.

She knowingly and willingly accepted the job with those wages. It’s not like anyone attempted to hoodwink her.

As a consequence it is fair on her part to give as much notice as possible of an absence. It would also be smart to offer to swap a later shift.

She should check her company policy on such leave, but the Employee Rights Act 1996 enables time off for an emergency eg sudden child illness but thereafter time off would be either unpaid, paid holiday or parental leave.

Too few people read the generally very available company policies. If you do you can generally work with your employer to reach a compromise.

You call me a snob, I think bowing and scraping and expecting to doff your cap to a job with crap wages makes you a mug.

57Varieties When you know your child is sick and you cannot go in for your next shift TWO DAYS in advance, giving your employer more than 1.5 hours notice is not “bowing and scraping”, it’s common courtesy and respect. It really is the least you should do if you cannot come in and are available to give sufficient notice.

Nobody is asking her to face financial hardship, give herself mental or physical illnesses by putting work first. Nobody is asking her to put work before her family.

Simply asking her to give more than 1.5 hours notice when she knew two days in advance.

You are so dramatic I am embarrassed for you.

You are so dramatic I am embarrassed for you.

Well said. It doesn’t have to be this stick it to the big employer because my children come first and that’s it.

If you’re going to work you need a plan A and B for these sort of inevitable circumstances.

No they can't popcorndiva. As soon as your probationary period is over, usually 8 weeks or 12 weeks, you have rights as an employee and can't be dismissed without using the proper disciplinary procedure

While I agree that partners should share responsibility for a sick child, surely it makes sense for the highest earner to be the prioriy earner and not upset their employers. If the low earner loses their job, the chances of financial survival are good. If the high earner loses their job, they coulde end up homeless.
While I dont condone telling porkies, I tend to agree with the OP saying "tell them your sick", it also means that it does not reflect badly on other parents who work

Op look up parental rights laws on Google. They can't really sack you.

Op look up parental rights laws on Google. They can't really sack you.

angelfacecuti75 Oh they can. Under 2 years employment and “it’s just not working out” is a valid reason for dismissal.

I agree it does make more financial sense for you to take time off but if this is what they are like now, I'd keep my eyes peeled for another job that might be more flexible or supportive. A supportive employer is worth their weight in gold when you have small children. They don't stay small or sick for long, but it's good to know the boss/ company have your back when they are.

It shouldn’t matter if a job is just paid minimum wage, the employer still has the right for staff to attend aor give as much notice as possible like the OP could have done. Obviously we all had occasions were things happen to us or the child in the morning when everything looked rosy the night before.

But nobody pushed the OP into accepting the job, she ould have looked for others.

If you have children and work you need plans. We don’t have any network where we live so DH and I made sure there is sufficient leave left unplanned per year, we think ahead of colleagues and work.

I am very lucky with my employer as is DH but despite him being paid 2.5x my salary he still takes his share of leave, in some case more than I thanks to being more flexible than I was when I was p/t.

You can take time off for dependents but it is to organise the emergency childcare not to actually do that childcare. Employers usually allow a bit of grace in this regard but two days in a row isn’t organising childcare, it’s doing it. I think that’s where you might come unstuck.

Well this is just unrealistic for myself and many people I know.

If our kids are well and the nursery has capacity then we can arrange extra childcare no problem.

There is no emergency childcare for sick kids if you don’t have family support. There is no one I could ask to have our twins when they are too sick for nursery.

When they started nursery I was working a very part time flexible job and thank goodness because there was barely a week where one of them or us wasn’t ill. Sometimes just a cold, up to norovirus and chicken pox. Chicken pox took up an entire month as one had it after the other and they took an extended period for all the spots to scab.

I would definitely have lost my job had I had a job like this. If I’d alternated with DH, we’d both have lost our jobs and been broke.

Short of an affordable service where someone comes round in a hazmat suit to take care of sick kids (or kids of sick parents actually) then this isn’t an unusual situation.

Completely right to do what you did. You are entitled to take unpaid leave for a dependent for emergency care. Forget all the people saying your partner should have done it etc... do whats right for your family.
You child had the sickness bug. It’s not long term. Yes it’s a pain for your employer, but that’s not anyone’s fault! Do not feel guilty for taking time off for a sick child. This is your first time in 6 months. Hardly a major issue.
I personally think taking time off for a dependent sounds better than calling in sick. So never lie.

All this “OP shouldn’t have taken the job” gives me the rage - so even when our children start nursery we shouldn’t get a job because our children might be sick? If we aren’t privileged enough to have family help on tap, when are we allowed to get jobs.

Employees get sick. Employees have children who get sick. This may be an inconvenient truth for many business owners but it’s the truth nonetheless.

Unfortunately we have very few employment rights in this country until we’ve been in a job for two years but firing a good employee who’s trained up, has been with you six months and not taken any time off because their child has a sickness bug for two days would be a huge false economy.

There is no plan b when your child is vomiting if you’ve got no family or friends that can help out! And for those saying that op should have an evening job so that the husband would always be at home when she is at work, get real! We can’t be expected to choose our entire jobs and hours around the rare occasion of a child being ill.
And the right is to not suffer less favourable treatment due to taking emergency leave for dependents.
Probation or no probation. And I’m an employment solicitor by the way.

This is a subject close to my heart and I sympathise massively . I spent many years juggling these situations and have spent 3 years off work caring for husband and children who have had different medical isssues. Was just going to start a new job tmrw in London and have news that my eldest dd needs a large operation and this will need at least 3 months recovery.
There are many employers in my experience who give Carers leave and certainly not to new employees. I sympathise with you as I know it’s a difficult one 💐

It doesn’t matter to your employer that this is not a career choice for you or that your DH gets paid more. I know that sounds harsh but it’s a fact unfortunately. You are entitled to emergency time off for dependents, i.e. until you can make alternative plans but I think it is stretching it if this runs to days/week off. I wouldn’t lie as that could lead to more issues but your employer doesn’t have to pay you if your child is sick & unfortunately they could dismiss you with less than 2 years service as PP have said. It would be pretty crap if they did but you have no protection. Hopefully they will have got over it by the time you go back in. Hope your DC feels better soon.

Op other than giving your employer advance warning I don't see what else you could do.

It just doesn't make sense to priorities your 4hrs over DHs 12hrs and that's before you consider a difference in hourly rate. Fingers crossed that your employer values you and understands.

I'd love to know what 'emergency childcare' people expect you to arrange? No paid childcare provider wants sick children. Even hospitals don't really want unaccompanied children!

I found this thread very interesting as I had to leave work early to pick my sick son up from school yesterday. I told DH that it was his turn to stay off today even though he will earn about 3 times what I do today. He is fuming and not talking to me as he just doesn't see that this is the fairest thing to do. I've had a lot of time off work recently due to pregnancy related illness and am so close to loosing my job. I know pregnancy related illness is supposed to be treated differently but in the real world, I work for a small business, no contract, my boss can do what he wants. He can just not give me any hours and force me to leave.

Cupgoose I think if you've already had time of it does change the position but Op hasn't had time off in 6 mths.

Women: employers don't take my career seriously after maternity leave.

Also MN: OH works 12 hour shifts and is much better paid. We would be so much worse off if he didn't go in, my thoughts are we have to put our family income first and so it's me that should take the time off

Women: employers don't take my career seriously after maternity leave.

Also MN: OH works 12 hour shifts and is much better paid. We would be so much worse off if he didn't go in, my thoughts are we have to put our family income first and so it's me that should take the time off

Don’t be disingenuous - this isn’t the OP’s career. It’s a part time low paid role, and if employers are going to pay people shit and give them no benefits then obviously in this situation the employee will prioritise her partner’s higher paid role.

You should be entitled to unpaid time if to care for a child though

As others have said, it's for emergencies / making arrangements for care

Personally, on the 2nd day I would have lied and said I had caught the D&V bug

1st day OK, an emergency unexpected Dependant illness (Ignore that OP knew over the weekend so wasn't a Monday morning emergency), 2nd day it's just childcare

If you have to call in again and they guilt you I’d try ‘Ok no problem, I’ll just abandon my vomiting 3 year old in the house alone shall I? Or shall I bring her in with me? Which would you prefer?’ And just leave it there 😂

I really wouldn't come up with bolshy crap. Simply apologise and put forward proposals how you male up hours etc

The glorification of careers here is a joke. It’s one thing to argue that women need to be employable in order to support themselves at any point. It’s another to pretend that most of us undertake meaningful or significant work. The vast majority of us are in roles where we're utterly replaceable, working for shitty employers for crappy pay. No wonder somebody would prioritise the health of their child.