To have called in to work when child

[CheeseAndBeans]

Mum of two, youngest is 3 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. I have recently returned to work part time on her nursery days after a few years out so am doubting myself and unsure of what's right....

DD was sick all through the night Saturday night, as per 48 hour rule she couldn't go to nursery yesterday and couldn't get anyone else to have her. She still wasn't right in herself. Called work 1.5 hours before shift was due to start and explained I couldn't come in as had to look after sick child. They were not happy and tried to guilt me into coming in, apologized as nothing I could do but would be in tomorrow as she is on the mend. This morning, she seems ok and no more sick so we all get ready to go, as we walk out the door she throws up! Obviously can't send her again today so had to call work. Again, they made it clear they weren't happy, it's busy today and short staffed as it is. Apologized and explained I couldn't do anything else.

I work in a minimum wage job, 4 hours a day, it's a pain when someone can't come in as others have to pick up the slack and I feel terrible but what can I do?
OH works 12 hour shifts and is much better paid. We would be so much worse off if he didn't go in, my thoughts are we have to put our family income first and so it's me that should take the time off. Neither of us would get paid for the time we didn't work. A friend this morning mentioned she would have shared the days with her OH but they are both in similar paid jobs.

What would you have done? What do others do if their kids are sick? As I said, am new to being a working parent!

I don't think they can sack you:

www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3235

but they do not have to pay you.

We try to share it between the two of us. DH earns double what I do however fortunately neither of us would lose our pay if we took time off for this.

I don't think they can sack you:

neveradullmoment99 Incorrect. She’s only been there six months. You can be sacked for pretty much anything unless you’ve been there over 2 years.

Maybe next time try and let your employer know as soon as possible that you cant work. If your child was ill at the weekend you could of rung on monday morning instead of an hour and half before your shift started on Tuesday. Gives them more chance to get cover.

You did the right thing
Family health first
and your lower income so that you can all eat

Your work treated you very badly and and with unprofessional behaviour

Can you look for another job

gill1960 How were they unprofessional?

Putting your family first does not mean you give your employers absolutely no thought whatsoever. Perhaps staying off work was unacceptable but she was irresponsible in the way she handled it and they were well within their rights to call her on it.

Insufficient notice is a disciplinary matter.

*unavoidable not unacceptable

Unfortunately majority of places of work think you dont have a life outside of work. They expect you to live breathe and sleep the job. You did the right thing...mum knows best when kids are ill and it's clear nothing could be done so you could still go to work. Shame because if employers were more understanding they actually get more respect back from us. If they made me feel guilty about a day off because my child was ill then I'd be like well f* you I will definitely be taking tomorrow off aswell now. You cant help me I cant help you 🤷🏽‍♀️

mum knows best when kids are ill and it's clear nothing could be done so you could still go to work.

Lou12124 Of course something could be done! She could have given them sufficient notice considering she knew she couldn’t go in a day or two beforehand, yet she left it until 1.5 hours before her shift. That is unacceptable and a disciplinary issue.

We share "taking care of sick child duties" despite dh earning twice what I do precisely because I want my employers to take me seriously. If you dont much care about your job/career, that's fine, but we earn more if we work as a team - and my job is important to me.

Where I work it's always the women that take time off for poorly kids. The excuse being the fathers job is better paid/more important than the mother's job. It really does start to grate when that employee 15 years later is still the only parent that takes time off.

I don't think YABU. Things happen beyond our control and you have to put your family first. My employer is OK. He will let me bring my son in with me when he has inset or his holidays dont match ours (I work in a school) but he does not like me taking time off for any reason. My son is under the hospital and I have to submit a travel plan, appointment duration and why my family can't help out to explain why I need that much time off otherwise it's denied. I am a single parent, my DSis lives on the other side of the country and my parents are half way between us. DS's DF will not under any circumstances take time off to look after him so it.

Well you can hardly leave a 3 year old alone

As for splitting it between both parents, in my last job we got paid dependant’s leave, my husband doesn’t. I was lucky and never needed to be off often but no way would my husband have taken time off for no pay when I got paid whether I was there or not anyway

Under what legislation?

The employment rights act s57A

1)An employee is entitled to be permitted by his employer to take a reasonable amount of time off during the employee’s working hours in order to take action which is necessary—

(a)to provide assistance on an occasion when a dependant falls ill, gives birth or is injured or assaulted,

(b)to make arrangements for the provision of care for a dependant who is ill or injured,

(c)in consequence of the death of a dependant,

(d)because of the unexpected disruption or termination of arrangements for the care of a dependant, or

(e)to deal with an incident which involves a child of the employee and which occurs unexpectedly in a period during which an educational establishment which the child attends is responsible for him.

It is incredibly disrespectful to treat one employer with less respect just because in your household it brings in less money,

What absolute bollocks. The OP works 4 hours a day a few days a week! Of course the job isn’t as worthy of respect as if she was getting a full time wage out of them.

Jeez some of the attitudes on here. Whatever it is you do for a living, it’s only a bloody job that would replace you in a heartbeat if you dropped dead. Of course you get pisstakers at work which are annoying and it’s important to work hard and do your best for your coin, but no one in their right mind is going to prioritise a 4 hour a day job over their family/

57Varieties She’s only been there 6 months. She has no protection and can be sacked for pretty much anything.

no one in their right mind is going to prioritise a 4 hour a day job over their family/

57Varieties Nobody is asking her to. But she can show them some respect and give them more than 1.5 hours notice when she knew a day or two beforehand she couldn’t go in.

57Varieties She’s only been there 6 months. She has no protection and can be sacked for pretty much anything

I really wish people would stop commenting on employment law when their knowledge is very limited.

Dismissing someone for exercising a statutory right, such as taking time off for dependants, is automatically unfair. No qualifying service required. Employment Rights Act again:

An employee who is dismissed shall be regarded for the purposes of this Part as unfairly dismissed if the reason (or, if more than one, the principal reason) for the dismissal is that the employee—

(a)brought proceedings against the employer to enforce a right of his which is a relevant statutory right, or

(b)alleged that the employer had infringed a right of his which is a relevant statutory right.

(2)It is immaterial for the purposes of subsection (1)—

(a)whether or not the employee has the right, or

(b)whether or not the right has been infringed;

but, for that subsection to apply, the claim to the right and that it has been infringed must be made in good faith.

Yes, I agree that if she could have given them more notice she should have done so @heartsonacake. But some people have suggested their family should be foregoing her husband’s pay which is more than hers in order to show said “respect”, which is nuts.

I was told similar when I worked in Tesco. DS had a horrible sickness bug which went on for about three weeks on and off.

At the time, it was usually my boyfriend or his mum who helped with childcare, but as his dad is terminally ill we couldn't risk it being passed on to him. They were really shitty about it, pulled me into a meeting with management and told me I had to prioritise getting to work and get boyfriend's mum to come to me if DS couldnt go there - never mind the fact she would still have been likely to carry it back to his dad.

It was the last straw for me, I finished that shift and never went back. I only worked two shifts a week, one of which i sat staring into space for the majority of because it was so quiet so not like I left them short of staff on a busy saturday afternoon.

57Varieties She called in sick. She did not ask to take time off for dependants.

Regardless, you can be sacked for pretty much anything before 2 years. If OP is regularly a problem for her employers (and giving them insufficient notice certainly falls into this category) and they can’t rely on her, they can simply say it isn’t working out and sack her. No more information necessary.

Yes, I agree that if she could have given them more notice she should have done so @heartsonacake.

57Varieties She could have done. Child ill Sunday and Monday, knew she couldn’t go in way in advance for her Tuesday shift yet only told them 1.5 hours before.

We share it 50/50. My husband earna 2/3rds more than me. Its what's fair to our employers.