My friend thinks my husband should divorce me

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

... For doing this to a block of cheese For some reason my DH gets really wound up when people (usually DD) grate the cheese from the 'wrong' end (ie, an end that isn't already grated). Earlier, I was grating cheese for tea and I had a lightbulb moment and grated every possible end, edge, side, corner and angle on the block of cheese

My friend is horrified and thinks DH should divorce me for so much wrongness

Obviously lighthearted

Think my dh would spontaneously combust if he found I'd treated his beloved cheese with such abandon.

Think I really need to try it now and see what happens

Why is it orange?

You deviant.

( @Aus84 - it's Red Leicester cheese, that's the colour that sort of cheese is!)

OP, you are an evil artistic genius.

I am a total cheese heathen though, if I want some cheese I just break bits off the block, leaving jagged edges. (Tastes good though.)

I’m thinking about disowning my mum for similar reasons, we all live together in a big house and all of us but her cut cheese the right way. It’s so annoying so if you get to th cheese after she’s opened it you’ve got Fuck all chance of getting good slices 😖 all of us find it fraustrating, I think she does it more just to piss us off.

buy yourself a drum mouli

cut off a lump of cheese with your knife and lob it in

no need to deface your cheese block

and you will end up with the same fingers you started with

Why aren't you manky arseholes keeping your hand covered with cling film/the cheese wrapper/something?! Stop touching the bloody cheese!

My colleagues keep asking me what I'm laughing at. They give me pitying looks when I tell them it's a threaded about cheese etiquette!

My dh would rather eat the wrapper than that mess.
One crumb in the butter cases WW3 here

UPDATE! No update. DH hasn't been near the cheese today so he still has no idea that the whole of Mumsnet is waiting for his reaction with baited breath.

I will say that the Red Leicester is mainly his choice. I do like it but if it were up to me I would buy anything that's extra mature like me but nobody else likes EM cheese and I don't eat a lot of it so it would go to waste before I managed to eat it all.

I love it.
Going to do that tomorrow and see who moans first.

I fucking love Red Leicester! Waitrose do a great one

It's chopping the pointy end off the brie that is the capital offenice.
I once watched my uncle having an apoplectic fit when somebody did this.

nobody else likes EM cheese and I don't eat a lot of it so it would go to waste before I managed to eat it all

I don't eat a lot of cheese, and it's just me in the house. But honestly, cheese lasts forever (or near enough) if you don't touch it!

From the British Cheese Board Mild Cheddar is typically sold at about 3 months of age; medium matured Cheddar at 5 to 6 months; mature Cheddar at around 9 months, Extra Mature at around 15 months and Vintage at 18 months or more

It lasts beautifully - as long as it doesn't get contaminated, and handling it is what contaminates it. I have eaten cheese that is 3 months past it's 'best before' date - because it is kept wrapped and I only touch the cheese I am about to use.

You could also leave a sticky note on it going 'And I have licked it/stuck it up my chuff as well'. If you want a really entertaining conversation the next time anyone in your house makes a sandwich...

What the gosh darn diddly heck have you done OP??!
I renounce you forevermore as a cheese heathen.

Stuck it up my chuff?! Jeez, how baggy do you think my vag is like?!

You should claim it’s the best way to ensure cheese stays fresh, cutting off bits from all over stops the mould. Then declare you are a genius and how dare he not support you’re thrifty ways!

That's gross, slice the amount of cheese you want to grate, who the fuck grates from the whole block?

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens all the supermarkets do little lunch box size em cheddars. M&S do good ones. They are perfect as no waste when only one person likes it.

Arghhhhhhhh!!!!! I couldn't even click on the image! Divorce or I would correct this abomination by using a sharp knife to restore it to a perfectly smooth and regular block. In the interests of tidiness, I would eat the corrections is the only way forward.

@raspberryk we grate from the whole block, obviously.

My dp cuts the corner off the new block of cheese regularly. We're talking a triangle and it makes me want to whack him with the frying pan. Totally agree with the friends on this one. Grate from one side only and when it becomes an angle turn it over then gtrate some more to level out.

i hope you worse gloves and didnt touch every bit of the cheese