To ask for a man’s opinion please?

[LoveLifeLaugh]

I’m about 40, slim but not skinny and facially ‘decent’.

I have got to the age where I could easily start worrying about new wrinkles, greying hair and the unforgiving force of gravity.

My natural approach would be to:

• stay slim
• avoid grey hair
• dress in a way that flatters my figure

But then to not obsess about it. To leave the house with a smile and a positive, confident attitude. Is this enough to still be regarded as attractive? I don’t want to nip and tuck myself like so many people I know. But my fear is that people will compare me to these younger-looking, smoother models.

I’m a happy person, full of joy and confidence but is that enough in today’s world?

Thanks for your thoughts.

WTF have I just read???

It’s a genuine question because I think that we are judged on our appearances whether we like it or not.

Jesus that's a depressing read.

Honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is stop worrying about how attractive you are to men.

Here is an example. Two photos of the same beautiful woman at two different stages in her life. I think she’s more attractive in the younger photo and suspect most people would agree. So clearly age/looks do matter.

How about your own opinion? It's the only one that matters. Do what the fuck you want.

Pumperthepumper well it is a concern if you want to meet one and have a relationship with one. Or am I looking at this all wrong? Honest question.

You ok hun?

How about your own opinion?
I want to look nice. I’m not sure where the line is though between wanting to look nice for myself or for others so I can have a chance at a fulfilling relationship.

For someone who is 40, your attitude is quite immature. Why on earth do you want to compete with people younger than you over your own attractiveness?? Unless you can invent a time machine, I would suggest you invest in accepting that you are no longer 25. You absolutely can be attractive, but you will never look young again.

I guess this wasn’t an appropriate question to ask on MN. Sorry.

Is a fulfilling relationship based on maintaining "youthful" looks in your 40's?

There is usually more mums on here than men to be honest .
My opinion is as good as any guys if you want it ?

I'll be honest. I am not sure if the concern about competing with younger models is comparable with being full of joy and confidence?

I meant to say women on here.

I think you might have fallen down a rabbit hole with this one. A) 40 isn’t old, older than you were but not old. B) no 40 year old looks 25, no matter how much work they have done they just look tighter. C) surely unless you’re after a 25 year old this is all moot. You’re not in competition with women half your age.

I think low self esteem is probably what’s getting in your way.

Stop competing with the younger generation. You sound quite insecure and this insecurity will continue to grow if you allow it. Don't let it OP.

If a man only finds younger women attractive then that's not a man I'd like attention from! You can be 20 and considered attractive/unattractive. Same goes for 40yo's, 50yo's etc.

I don’t want to compete with 25 year olds at all! That time has truly passed. I’m competing with other 40 year old women who are getting their boobs done, faces filled, etc. I’m saying that I don’t want to do that. I want to just be myself.

OP, I agree with the pp about your opinion being the only one that truly matters. The important thing is that you are happy with the way you look and feel. Naturally, others with warm to people with an inner, quietly confident exterior. You do not have to wear makeup or fancy clothes to achieve this. It's about who you are as a person.

It saddens me that as a woman you are seeking a mans approval, but I can understand why in the world we live in, you think that way.

I would suggest some soul searching to really find out what you want in life and how you want to be.

If you are looking for a partner, find ways to meet people and show them who you really are. This is how you will find someone that is good for you.

There is no one size fits all in terms of what is attractive, but the media will encourage you believe otherwise. Be you, and the rest will follow.

I think it's important to remember OP; a 'mans opinion' is not worth more than anyone else's and you don't exist to pass muster for a man. Dressing yourself and altering yourself to please one is not the buy in for a relationship worth having, anyone worth having would be primarily interested in your personality.

The last opinion I want when I plan my 'look' is a mans because I dress for me to please me. Life is a lot easier when you realise men aren't judge and jury.

This can't be for real?!

i would look for someone around my age, then looks wouldnt be that much problem.
dont do nip and tuck, it has its own problems.
color hair, dress appropriately, be positive.

Give her a break... we all want to know the answer

(Well, I think we already know what it is)

She clearly means younger looking (botox) rather than actual. Fair enough question- botox mainly looks 'done' rather than younger- is that off-putting, or do the manbots automatically plump for our toxed counterparts?

In my experience, men who start dating in their 40s want a woman who is 25-35. Men in their 50s seem interested in women in their 30s. I think men in their 60s are open to women in their 40s but I don’t want a guy that old. I have actually found it a lot easier to attract younger men say 27-35.

dont go for younger ones.