To ask for a man’s opinion please?

[LoveLifeLaugh]

I’m about 40, slim but not skinny and facially ‘decent’.

I have got to the age where I could easily start worrying about new wrinkles, greying hair and the unforgiving force of gravity.

My natural approach would be to:

• stay slim
• avoid grey hair
• dress in a way that flatters my figure

But then to not obsess about it. To leave the house with a smile and a positive, confident attitude. Is this enough to still be regarded as attractive? I don’t want to nip and tuck myself like so many people I know. But my fear is that people will compare me to these younger-looking, smoother models.

I’m a happy person, full of joy and confidence but is that enough in today’s world?

Thanks for your thoughts.

@colourlessgreenidea you summed up my thoughts perfectly!!

Some of you commenting on here are truly unpleasant. Smacks of insecurity on your collective part, actually.

Botox 😂

Seriously your talking 40 that’s not old! Honestly if you want to feel better in yourself do what you like - Botox, fillers whatever. However despite whet you seem to think - some men will like this, some won’t. Like us they have preferences - and it varies by individual. You may as well say “men - should I be brunette or blonde”

I'm not a man but imo what you've suggested is pretty normal in my experience. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good about yourself- whatever that looks like.

Personally I look at younger women and think their looks are wasted on the young
I'm 48 and find personality counts more than looks. But I do find some over 60s look good as do the younger ones . Just be yourself

Some of you commenting on here are truly unpleasant. Smacks of insecurity on your collective part, actually.

Who, oh, who, who, who?

OP, in your place I'd be asking myself the question: If the men who reply to my thread say no, what you listed in your OP isn't enough, and we want women who have botox and heavy make up etc, what would I do about it?

Hopefully, sod all, so the question is moot, anyway.

@LoveLifeLaugh

Why do you need a man in your life to feel secure? I am married but I don't actually need him to feel good about myself. Confidence comes from within imho. Men can be very shallow when it comes to picking a girlfriend or wife and I know one man who is dating a lot of young women and he is mid fifties. He tells me they throw themselves at him and I can't see why because he looks old and wears a wig. I don't fancy him and I am around his age. He is a millionaire so perhaps that is what is attracting these young women ......

I’m just wondering if, when looks fade, if I continue to be happy and confident, is this attractive to the group of people I wish to attract (men) for a relationship.

Yes of course. That's bleeding obvious op. I think what you may need though is some intellect. That's also attractive! Work on that!

@minesagin37

Good post.

I don't know why the OP is attacked for expressing what is a very common mindset / phenomenon. I am mid-30s and look it, and only men who are interested in me seem to be 50+. I am not overly invested in finding someone, but if I were - a man my own age would not give me a second look.

Oh God not the you ok Hun?

Cybill Shepherd is 30 years older than you, yes she looked younger at your age, but she still look fantastic, elegant and dresses beautifully. She looks so beautiful because she acts her age and has grown older gracefully. You could learn a lot from that second picture.

Puzzledbyart I don't know why the OP is attacked for expressing what is a very common mindset / phenomenon. I am mid-30s and look it, and only men who are interested in me seem to be 50+. I am not overly invested in finding someone, but if I were - a man my own age would not give me a second look.

Because not all of us (a) live on internet dating sites (b) judge our self worth by what men are attracted to us and (c) have no difficulty in meeting the many pleasant, well adjusted men in the world who are attracted to women their own age or older or younger?

My DH is younger than me. Admittedly he is always mistaken for being the older one but tbh most men hardly have a vast choice of women ready and waiting for them and have to take what they can get. Dating sites give a very false impression.

Desperation also attracts the control freaks/cheaters of this world.

This comes across as very shallow. This is a deeply unattractive quality and irrelevant of how your face looks, that quality will shine through,