To refuse to let DD(16) go to this?

[flyingonions]

DD who turned 16 in June, and her friend who’s a year younger, have booked tickets to a concert in London on a Friday night next March. Bearing in mind we live just outside of south London, and the gig probably won’t finish until 10:30pm, AIBU to refuse to let her go? It’s an hour on the train there and back. I’m just so worried they get into trouble or hurt :/
I’ve never posted on here before but a friend introduced me to it a few weeks and I thought this may be a good topic for my first post, seeing as DD now sees me as an evil cow...

She's 16, not 12. I'd let her go but she HAS to be back on time and text you regularly.

I was clubbing at that age 😂

Also the stabbings are usually kids who live in gang areas or are involved in gangs. It's v rare for someone to risk 25 years In prison to stab a random middle-class 16 year old

Don't tell her you are worried. Don't put that burden on her. Send her off with a cheery wave after previously having a conversation about staying safe and what to do in x,y and z situations.

Sensible comments about Ally Pally.

I shall soon be there for annual Knit & Stitch - apart from the throbbing yarn hive, it’s always a pleasure to spend time at Ally Pally taking in the great views of London.

Not so keen her getting into an Uber...

God you’d have a heart attack if she was doing what I was at that age...

Kids are wrapped up in cotton wool far too much these days 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not so keen her getting into an Uber.
I use Uber but my honest thoughts are that she is safer on public transport with all the other concert goers.

Oh God. I've never had to face this. Both my kids prefer to stay at home. Until 16 and a half year old dd who has just started college piped up that she had been invited to a Halloween house party of a girl who is a year older.

My first thought was alcohol, she is a bit naive tbh.

But she's 16 and you have to let them go!

Dear lord, I was walking back to the centre of manchester from Ardwick Green aged 14/15/16 after gigs at the Apollo... now THAT was rough!

She's 16, she's already got her tickets, to try and say no now would be deeply unreasonable, and likely just cause her to stop being open and honest with you about where she goes/what she does rather than do anything to keep her safe.

I t hink you are being over protective. My daughter is 15 and has had to take public transport into central Philadelphia every day since 13. Last week I bought her two tickets for a band she likes as a surprise and sent them via her phone while she was in school... she didn't know about it till a few hours before, and was able to sort a friend to go with, figure where the venue was and get there safely. We did pick them up after because it finished late, so I don't think it would be unreasonable to want a plan in place for getting home, maybe an uber to the station and meet them at the other end?

But the kids need to figure out safety and learn to get safely about in cities and it is a reasonable age to start. I do worry about shootings where we are, but I can't limit their lives because of my concerns. And my daughter has become pretty self sufficient and streetwise now. And look how happy these girls are... they had a blast and didn't need a parent to babysit them in the concert (friend on right is eating blue candy floss, not smoking). Let them go, they will remember it forever.

I hate that the news stories do this to people.
People don't just go around stabbing random 17 year olds, no prison sentence is worth that.
At that age I was travelling to other cities and staying over night.
A lot of people her age wouldn't be honest or sneak our, let her go.

At 16 I was regularly getting the train to London and coming back late, going clubbing and going to gigs most weeks. And that was in the 90s, so no mobiles. She will be fine, and she needs to learn how to look after herself.

Yabu. I've been to big concerts in London and there will be hordes of people (and security guards) heading to the local tube and railway stations. If you are that concerned you can meet her at your end.

It is hard letting them go, but it is something that has to be done.

She'll be fine. She will be almost 17 and with a friend. If they stick together and to their agreed routes there won't be an issue.

Will she go to uni in just over a year after the concert? If so then it is doubly important that she learns to cope with independence from now onwards. You'll have no influence at all over what she does then and will just have to trust her.

Don't tell her you will be worried about her. That wouldn't be fair at all. Let her go and enjoy the concert with the agreement that she texts you at points during the journey, when it has finished and when she is safely back at her friend's house.

'WiddlinDiddlin

Dear lord, I was walking back to the centre of manchester from Ardwick Green aged 14/15/16 after gigs at the Apollo... now THAT was rough!'

I don't like doing that walk alone at night at 40 never mind as a teenager.

Alexandra Palace is next to an area full of yummy mummies and their families, who shop at Waitrose and probably have organic tea and milk. There's even an independent bookshop nearby in Muswell Hill. It's not South London.

The train station organises proper directions etc to the venue and back.

Just have a travel and contact plan.

Dear lord, I was walking back to the centre of manchester from Ardwick Green aged 14/15/16 after gigs at the Apollo... now THAT was rough!'

And me! Then getting the 50 night bus home having spent my taxi money on chips from the all night caff!

ForAllTheSaints and thanks for furthering another scaremongering stereotype. You know we have yummy mummies and Waitrose in S London, right? And that N London has it’s less reassuring spots, just like S London? Every member of my family was at a different event last night, arriving home after 1.30 am and getting night buses, trains and tubes through Peckham, Brixton, etc, all perfectly safe and feeling perfectly safe.

If the next gig the OP’s Dd wants to go to is at Brixton Academy she will be equally safe.

Not so keen her getting into an Uber

I’m a big Uber fan. You can track the driver and the drive, you can share your whereabouts and in my experience they are much nicer and cleaner cars than minicabs. I’ve always had very nice drivers too