Husband buying other women drinks on night out?

[drinksatthebar]

NC as I don't want this thread following me around.

I don't know if IABU.

For context: DH and I happily married, no infidelity on either side, 2 pre-school age DC together.

Husband goes out last night and comes home around midnight but coherent and not particularly drunk. I ask him how his night was and what they got up to and in the midst of other stuff that happened during his evening he said he'd bought some girls a drink. I really didn't like this!! He and his colleagues are all married with kids - is this normal or appropriate? Would you be mad if your DH did this?

I should add: I quite frequently get bought drinks by men on nights out with my girlfriends and I always accept, even though I'm a married mum of 2! Goes without saying it never goes any further than a chat a laugh and a drink. Am I being a hypocrite then?

Additional context: The drinks were expensed through the company so he wasn't throwing away family money.

You are both being unreasonable. He shouldn't be buying another woman drinks, and you shouldn't be accepting them from other men.

Kind of depends on both of your motivations, doesn't it.

Men buying you drinks - why do you think they do that, what are they hoping for? You accept but tell them you're married with kids (I presume you understand that isn't an actual bar to being unfaithful in many people's eyes)

So your DH buying girls drinks - what is he hoping for? Is it possibly the same as the men buying you drinks?

If you're all just being nice generous people, then fine, no issue. But if someone is expecting something in return for all this drink-buying, then you're both unreasonable.

At least you're open with each other about it - but no, you can't go giving him a hard time for it while you accept drinks from other blokes, whatever their motivation.

I tell him, in a "hey babe your wife's still got it!" kinda way.

Apart from being the cringiest thing I’ve read on here so far today, I don’t think you see the irony.

He’s showing you that (thinks) he still has it.

You’re being a hypocrite.

You both sound very needy.

So you're ok with the fact that the drinks don't come out of 'family money' and it's the tax payer who pays for them?

This is why reputable companies have a policy on expenses.

You're being massively hypocritical! Why is it ok for you to accept drinks bought for you but not for him to buy drinks?!

Why do you feel the need to say yes to random men offering drinks OP? I just find it creepy, they obviously are just doing it to any women they can- there's no compliment. I find it an unwelcome interruption when/if men encroach on me when I'm out, its eye roll worthy.

I'd have said YANBU but you do court it from men, so its entirely hypocritical to not want your DP to do it. It's all a bit pathetic and desperate IMO. He wants to prove he's got it still (even though it proves nothing of the sort) which is tragic.

I quite frequently get bought drinks by men on nights out with my girlfriends and I always accept ...Am I being a hypocrite then?

You have to ask?
Or do you not know the meaning of the word hypocrite?
How is it not ok for DH, but ok for you?

If the OP is real, I think this comes down to one issue. Thata she is childish. He possibly is as well.

She like him to know she could shag someone else if she wanted. And either he thought 'well buying drinks for someone is clearly no big deal on our marriage so what the hell' or 'right she wants to play this game, let's see how she likes it'. The second would make him just as childish as the OP.

Or there is a third option. He was actually interested one of these women. Perhaps he is fed up of his wife playing games to make him jealous.

Wow.

If this is real, couldn't you hear the hypocrisy when you were typing it out?!

Also, my DP buys drinks for women on a night out, they buy him drinks too. This occurs because they do "rounds" where one person buys all the drinks and it goes round til everyone's got a round in.

It's perfectly normal for one human to buy another human a drink and it not be because they fancy them

I wouldn't be happy and my dp wouldn't be happy with me accepting a drink respect goes both ways.

If you get chatting to some people in the pub, drinks are sometimes bought in rounds. Some men won't let /don't like women buying drinks which is weird but seems to be a thing.

Would it be the same if it was blokes they got chatting to.

Or are you assuming it was flirty chat up type thing

Anyway you're a terrible hypocrite

If you just needed a confirmation from total strangers on the internet that you are a hypocrite, then you’ve got it. Your DH is putting the drinks on expenses but for all you know, the drinks that are being bought for you could be coming out of family finances, so in my eyes you are the worst out of the both of you.
Neither of you should be buying or accepting these drinks in the first place.

You're unbelievable! You don't mind simpering and accepting free drinks from men but hit the roof when your husband does it!

Men only buy drinks for women for one reason. Because they want to shag them.

dafuq?

yes I tell him, in a "hey babe your wife's still got it!" kinda way.

I think I must be getting old.

This cannot be serious. No one has enough time to post threads like this. Utter waste of time and energy.

OP, why did you start this thread?

So you try to make him jealous by telling him about all the men who buy drinks for you but you don't like feeling jealous when he tells you he bought drinks for other women? 🙄

Normally I'd agree I'd find it uncomfortable. But you say you accept drinks then your being hypocritical and not fair.

Erm youre the biggest hypocrite ive ever read about on here-dont accept drinks from strangers you dont know if its been spiked

Since when did buying/getting bought drinks = cheating??? If he offered the girls a company bought mint would you consider that cheating?

What's wrong with just being friendly?

My OH does stuff like this all the time, he’s kind and generous and sees it no different to getting a round in when he’s out with his friends. I don’t think anything of it - especially since he will mention it when I ask how his night was. If it was anything more than just buying a drink to be kind then he wouldn’t tell you in the first place, it just sounds like your partner is a thoughtful person. But if you think it’s really unreasonable of him then it’s important you practice what you preach and you should think twice about having someone buy you a drink in the future.

I would probably be a bit miffed but least he told you about it he didn't keep that information for you so would be great full for his honesty.

If you trust him completely and know it didn't go further then leave it be, no point in an argument.

He probably knows you have drinks bought for you and know it doesn't mean anything so thought it would be fine to do the same.

Always be careful about that sort of situation as it can be easily turned back round to him asking why it's ok for you to accept a drink but not for him to buy one..

Yes, you're a massive hypocrite.

You’re being a hypocrite

Either you are both in the right or you are both in the wrong. Your call.

yes I tell him, in a "hey babe your wife's still got it!" kinda way and he's just done the same to you. Again either it's OK for both of you to do this, or neither of you should be doing it.