Husband buying other women drinks on night out?

[drinksatthebar]

NC as I don't want this thread following me around.

I don't know if IABU.

For context: DH and I happily married, no infidelity on either side, 2 pre-school age DC together.

Husband goes out last night and comes home around midnight but coherent and not particularly drunk. I ask him how his night was and what they got up to and in the midst of other stuff that happened during his evening he said he'd bought some girls a drink. I really didn't like this!! He and his colleagues are all married with kids - is this normal or appropriate? Would you be mad if your DH did this?

I should add: I quite frequently get bought drinks by men on nights out with my girlfriends and I always accept, even though I'm a married mum of 2! Goes without saying it never goes any further than a chat a laugh and a drink. Am I being a hypocrite then?

Additional context: The drinks were expensed through the company so he wasn't throwing away family money.

You’re being hypocritical.

@PositiveVibez bit harsh calling us pricks.

My dds have been bought drinks by men and they've not been joined by them, it was more like an " enjoy your night" thing. Cant see the problem if it was like that.

Happy to accept I'm being a hypocrite! 🙋🏼‍♀️

It depends on the vibe of the moment really, which you’ll never know. These things can be harmless spirit of the moment “ye’re all me best mates” fun or genuinely flirtatious, and they might have been driven by his mates rather than him (this wouldn’t be an OK excuse for something genuinely dodgy like strip clubs but for something like this where it’s innocuous in itself but all about the intent it does make a difference).

Also, why did he tell you? You’d never have known otherwise. Some sinister blokes will make a point of telling you things for game-playing purposes but you’d probably know by now if he was one of those. On the balance of probabilities I’d say it’s probably fine.

But you're married with kids too 🙄

Yes you are a hypocrite I wouldn’t accept drinks from guys on a night out

It wasn't his money, and you are willing to accept drinks on the same situation. YABU.

If I'm taking with someone on a work night out, male or female I may get the drinks in. It's not inappropriate in the slightest.

But given you accept drinks from strangers on nights out it's a lot stranger that you took offence to this

As others have said - I wouldn't like it but then I wouldn't accept drinks from men that I don't know either so you're definitely being hypocritical.

If you accept drinks from men then yes you’re being unreasonable.
I wouldn’t be happy with DH buying women drinks but then I wouldn’t accept drinks from random men on a night out. I’m not saying that to be judgemental but I guess it’s just not something that I’d be comfortable with either way round.

Was it actually a business event or just a night out?

You'd better hope he isn't subject to a tax investigation or else you'd have bigger problems than your hypocritical approach to drinks buying between men and women. .

Yup, totally hypocritical

He shouldn’t be buying random women drinks, but then you shouldn’t be accepting them either.

@PositiveVibez
Last man (apart from my husband) who bought me a drink was a colleague,who happens to be gay. Pretty certain he's not interested in me.

I often have male friends, colleagues etc buy me a drink. It's fine. I think the OP is being unreasonable and hypocritical.

Yabu and a hypocrite

Does he know you also let men buy you drinks?

Is he really okay with that? If he loves you and wants to be with you I doubt it.

Is he buying as a 'payback' type thing?

Sounds like you both need to talk and either be cool with the buying/accepting, or both stop it.

I wouldnt be happy with this but I also wouldnt accept drinks from men on a night out.

Bucatini he and his two colleagues are the founding directors of the company so doesn't really matter.

Well it does matter as it's a tax dodge isn't it.

I wouldn't like it but I'd never accept a drink from some random stranger either.

Last man (apart from my husband) who bought me a drink was a colleague,who happens to be gay. Pretty certain he's not interested in me.

There is a big difference between buying people you know a drink and buying random females on a night out a drink. Your situation is nothing like the OPs.

I wouldn't be happy if my husband bought women he just met drinks. I wouldn't accept drinks from men I don't know either though.

I wonder why he told you OP?

You should’ve put a poll up just to see it reach “Hypocrite: 101%”

You’re being really unreasonable if you’re accepting drinks from other men. I wouldn’t like my husband buying drinks for another woman but I wouldn’t accept drinks either.

Why are you happy that he bought drinks for women?

Its because you dont like the usual intention behind it? Usually men buy drinks to impress women, get their attention, ice brake etc.

If that's the case, that you dont like the intentions men have when buying women drinks, why would you accept them?

Some of those men will be married, but you are happy with it as long as you are gaining something?

I think it's odd to buy a random group of any people a drink. But you dont seem keen on explaining if they are total strangers. Were some of these women, mittal friends with people in his group or sat talking to people in his group etc. So its difficult to judge wether it's odd that he did this.

My ex did this and I dumped him for it. Although slightly different. He was in Qatar on a business trip. We had only been together a couple of months and still in the honeymoon period so I was so happy when he phoned me from abroad. He then proceeded to tell me what he had been doing and the told me his business colleague had taken him to a club and that a very sweet girl came on to him. He said she was a prostitute and that he felt sorry for her so he bought her drinks and chatted with her all night. I went insane and he seriously didn’t understand why

Seems really weird- I’ve only ever been bought drinks by men on a night out when it’s obvious there’s a flirt up going on, but only when I’ve been single. I think both of you must behave like you’re single on nights out to both be in the position of buying/accepting drinks. Wouldn’t be my idea of fun on a night out with friends but then I’m happily married.