Husband buying other women drinks on night out?

[drinksatthebar]

NC as I don't want this thread following me around.

I don't know if IABU.

For context: DH and I happily married, no infidelity on either side, 2 pre-school age DC together.

Husband goes out last night and comes home around midnight but coherent and not particularly drunk. I ask him how his night was and what they got up to and in the midst of other stuff that happened during his evening he said he'd bought some girls a drink. I really didn't like this!! He and his colleagues are all married with kids - is this normal or appropriate? Would you be mad if your DH did this?

I should add: I quite frequently get bought drinks by men on nights out with my girlfriends and I always accept, even though I'm a married mum of 2! Goes without saying it never goes any further than a chat a laugh and a drink. Am I being a hypocrite then?

Additional context: The drinks were expensed through the company so he wasn't throwing away family money.

Yeah, you need to not give any fucks about this OP, this is a non issue. I feel for your DH if he gets a hard time from you.

I wouldn’t be happy with this but then I also wouldn’t accept drinks from random men on nights out either so you are both being unreasonable.

This.

To be fair he went on about how cute and sweet she was and how she was so upset not to get his business so that is slightly different to your situation.

If my partner was buying drinks as a way to try and get in someones pants, I'd lose all respect for him. I hate idea of thinking you can buy someone. As a friendly gesture? As long as he's not spending family money we need, he can do what he wants.

YABU if you accept drinks. If you didn't then I think you'd have a point

If it was friends or work colleagues then no I wouldn't mind at all but I would be pretty pissed off if he was offering to buy random women drinks, ime men only do that to flirt.

But yes you really are a hypocrite I'm afraid, when men offer to buy me a drink I always tell them I'm married and that it wouldn't lead anywhere. Occasionally they still buy me a drink and wish me a good night but most of the time they move along If you don't tell them that you are married and accept the drink then you are indicating that you are single and interested which is not a nice thing to do, to them or to your husband.

I could definitely be wrong but I don’t see how this can be treated as a business expense.

Both in wrong. Why would you buy drink for random stranger unless it was to initiate conversation or more. Equally why would you accept from random stranger as that acceptance shows ok to start that conversation. Unless of course you’re out with single pals and they’re up for chatting with others on your night out and it’s them accepting. Sounds like you’re both bored and want flirtation or more with others.

@LettuceP I always tell the guy who's buying me a drink that I'm married with kids!

@toansweryourquestionyes my DH and his colleagues own the company.

I should add: I quite frequently get bought drinks by men on nights out with my girlfriends and I always accept, even though I'm a married mum of 2! Goes without saying it never goes any further than a chat a laugh and a drink. Am I being a hypocrite then?

You sound as bad as each other. Match made in heaven.

What Dahlietta said.

Is this actually for real?

I don't see buying drinks as a massive issue, tbh. I am off out with the "girls" tonight and if somebody offers as part of a big group chatting thing I will gratefully accept and carry on chatting.

Unlikely now at my advanced age, but if some random bloke tried to pick me off from the pack and ply me with gin that would be different

Same works the other way for my H

I guess it depends context.

If dh was chatting up strange women, then that’s a big no no.

If he just fell into conversation with said women, or knew them anyway, and offered out of politeness, then that’s okay. Ie. He was getting a round in for his colleague, and includes the lady in the round.

*Men only buy drinks for women for one reason. Because they want to shag them.

By you accepting a drink off a random man, you are showing your interest back.

You both sound like pricks tbh*

What a load of shit! Maybe they were just being friendly!

However I do think the op is being hypocritical, she accepts drinks but is livid her dh bought drinks for other women.

But married
So he goes out buys random women drinks, what for? Why? Is he attracted to them?
You go out and accept drinks from random men... why?
I must just be old fashioned but I dont think that is what a married couple should do... you are BOTH in the wrong.

@Straycatstrut yes I tell him, in a "hey babe your wife's still got it!" kinda way.

@Bucatini he and his two colleagues are the founding directors of the company so doesn't really matter.

It probably would to HMRC.

You’re both unreasonable. And you’re a hypocrite. And possibly stupid - do you know what’s in all the drinks you get bought?

toansweryourquestionyes my DH and his colleagues own the company

It doesn't matter. Hmrc wouldn't see it as a business expense. My husband also owns a company. You don't pay tax on expenses therefore you can't just claim whatever you fancy.

Straycatstrut yes I tell him, in a "hey babe your wife's still got it!" kinda way.

In other words, to make him jealous. You both need to grow up.

@toansweryourquestionyes I could definitely be wrong but I don’t see how this can be treated as a business expense.

I agree, and I bet HMRC would too. It’s tax evasion.

Yes, you're being a hypocrite.

Am I being a hypocrite then?

Yes, a big one!

I think we’re supposed to be jealous of OP and her come hither ways and her director husband.

Like a previous poster said - I wouldn't accept random drinks from random men so wouldn't be happy with husband buying drinks for random girls.