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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU or was she a CF?

125 replies

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 20:51

We live in a new build estate, with no pavements and a road designed to stop cars from speeding (the road is made up of straight lines constantly changing angle, like a zig-zag).
Every house has a minimum space for 2 cars in their drive, some have room for 3, and the flats have 2 spaces for each.

There are other bays dotted along the estate for visitors and so on. They are not residents only. They are not private.

Every household in the street pays a factors fee for the upkeep.

My family member asked me if they could park in one of the spaces as the train station nearby was full. I said yes. Family member returned to their car which had a 'this is private parking' handwritten note attached and the author of the note came out and verbally harassed them. They are over 20 years my family members senior and were incredibly aggressive. My family member explained that I had said okay and drove off.

The same thing happened today but the note had vague threats of 'reporting to the relevant authorities'. There are no authorities. It's not private property or residents only.

I decided to speak to the neighbour and let them know I had said my family member could park there. Neighbour went tits up and claimed that as she pays council tax and factors fees she can decide who parks there. I explained that I pay those things too and as a resident I can say yes to someone parking there, even though I don't have to. She went off on one a out her not inviting all her family to park there and it being ridiculous. I told her that we don't kick up a fuss when her husband's work can is constantly parked there, ruining the space we also pay for, instead of their drive. Or have we complained when her family have parked all over the road and not the bays. Or when their dog kept running in to our house and out on to the road in front of cars because she can't be bothered getting it. This caused her to look a bit ashen.
I also told her that my family member will be contacting the police if this woman continues to verbally abuse her and if her car gets damaged.
Neighbour called me a "boot" and slammed the door.

Now, I don't normally get involved but I'm not having a middle aged woman become verbally abusive and threatening towards my teenage cousin.
We've also had incident's where residents cars have been vandalised by people passing through the estate to the train station and I don't want her notes causing that grief and damage. You have no idea who she might annoy next.

Husband has said I was daft for discussing, or attempting to discuss, it.

This is the same neighbour who put her bins down the middle of our driveways (joined) because sometimes we used to step on her drive to put the baby in his car seat. Even though she would also step on ours. She also didn't believe that if her bins damaged our cars (a particularly windy few weeks) that she would be liable, given her placement.

WIBU in trying to speak to her or was she just a CF who thinks she can get away with this nonsense because no one tells her she's being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 04/10/2019 20:54

I think you are cheeky, parking is for residents and visitors, not commuters.

Mephisto · 04/10/2019 20:56

YANBU, it’s not resident’s parking so she is BU.

However, I can sort of see her point. How near is the train station and how likely is it that lots of people will start parking on your road?

Mephisto · 04/10/2019 20:57

Resident’s only parking that should be

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:00

Disfordark they are not designated residents/visitors spaces. They are general bays that can fit 3 cars bumper to bumper (in a line one behind each other) that people use when visiting. Tradesmen, the post man, grass cutters etc all park there too.

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:01

Mephisto our estate has been here for over 3 years, in that time I've maybe seen 6 or 7 commuter cars total.
There is a path that leads to the station from the estate.
Most people park at the station or on the main road outside the estate.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 21:01

Those are all people who come to the house though to work. Your cousin is using the space so she can commute. As a one off I'd hope to get away with it but it's obviously not what the spaces are for.

Jojo19834 · 04/10/2019 21:02

Did you volunteer a visitors bay? If so YABU, if your drive then not. I live on a similar estate and that’s not the purpose of the parking bays

PegasusReturns · 04/10/2019 21:03

Why not allow your relative to park in your designated spot/on your drive

InfiniteSheldon · 04/10/2019 21:03

Yabu it's not a space for commuters

4SimpleWords · 04/10/2019 21:04

A boot?

Jojo19834 · 04/10/2019 21:04

XPost but you say they are not designated visitor bays, but it’s what they are for - visitors not commuters. YABU

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:04

But surely me letting her park there for 2-3 hours is the same as her visiting for 2-3 hours?

My point is more that they are parking spaces with no restrictions and therefore anyone can park there without being verbally abused and harassed by others.

When our factors fees then over to the council and the roads are adopted those spaces will be the same as any other legal parking space on the road.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 21:04

Oh yes your drive would be fine. Was that not available?

I can't see that the ages are relevant

Elieza · 04/10/2019 21:05

Tell cousin to park up your drive. You then park in visitor space. Nobody can deny you the right to park there. You are a resident after all. Or you both park up your drive.

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:07

My driveway had our cars in it.
I could move the car and she wouldn't get her knickers in a twist, but the situation would have been the same.

A boot, kind of like a cunt, for asking her to stop verbally harassing a 17 year old.

No one has a set amount of bays. No one pays for the upkeep of the spaces. No one has a permit for them. They are simply bricked areas between two bits of grass.
No signs, no warnings, no notices etc.

OP posts:
ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 04/10/2019 21:07

They are for residents and visitors shes not visiting. Imagine if everyone decided to leave their cars there and commute what if they went on holiday and left it. You're neighbour has a point

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/10/2019 21:07

Still cheeky, your family member should park on your drive.

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:08

I would assume a woman in her mid 40s screaming abuse at a 17 year old is relevant.

I would also assume that her parking a works van in those spaces constantly, despite room on her driveway, is slightly ridiculous given she doesn't want others parked there.

OP posts:
CalmdownJanet · 04/10/2019 21:09

Could your relative not park on your drive?

People who park in estates to commute are a pain in the arse. Does your relative check that the station is full first or just park in your estate all the time now?

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:09

If everyone used the street for commuting I'd understand. In 3 years there have maybe been about 6 incidents in the street in total. Meaning 6 out of a probably 40-50 bays have been used for commuting purposes.

OP posts:
londonrach · 04/10/2019 21:10

You park on visitor space, your relative parks on your driveway..problem solved

WorraLiberty · 04/10/2019 21:11

You keep bring age into this - why? Confused

She sounds batshit but perhaps she wants to make sure you're not renting your space out to commuters, which is what a lot of people do.

WorraLiberty · 04/10/2019 21:11

*bringing

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 04/10/2019 21:11

What if everyone cotton on? It's not something I would encourage.

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:11

calmdownjet she asked after she had checked.
It was twice in 3 years. She needed to drop stuff off at college and, for the length of time, her driving wouldn't have been more hassle.

Literally a "there are no spaces and the train is coming in a few minutes, is it okay to park here for an hour or two?".

OP posts: