Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU or was she a CF?

125 replies

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 20:51

We live in a new build estate, with no pavements and a road designed to stop cars from speeding (the road is made up of straight lines constantly changing angle, like a zig-zag).
Every house has a minimum space for 2 cars in their drive, some have room for 3, and the flats have 2 spaces for each.

There are other bays dotted along the estate for visitors and so on. They are not residents only. They are not private.

Every household in the street pays a factors fee for the upkeep.

My family member asked me if they could park in one of the spaces as the train station nearby was full. I said yes. Family member returned to their car which had a 'this is private parking' handwritten note attached and the author of the note came out and verbally harassed them. They are over 20 years my family members senior and were incredibly aggressive. My family member explained that I had said okay and drove off.

The same thing happened today but the note had vague threats of 'reporting to the relevant authorities'. There are no authorities. It's not private property or residents only.

I decided to speak to the neighbour and let them know I had said my family member could park there. Neighbour went tits up and claimed that as she pays council tax and factors fees she can decide who parks there. I explained that I pay those things too and as a resident I can say yes to someone parking there, even though I don't have to. She went off on one a out her not inviting all her family to park there and it being ridiculous. I told her that we don't kick up a fuss when her husband's work can is constantly parked there, ruining the space we also pay for, instead of their drive. Or have we complained when her family have parked all over the road and not the bays. Or when their dog kept running in to our house and out on to the road in front of cars because she can't be bothered getting it. This caused her to look a bit ashen.
I also told her that my family member will be contacting the police if this woman continues to verbally abuse her and if her car gets damaged.
Neighbour called me a "boot" and slammed the door.

Now, I don't normally get involved but I'm not having a middle aged woman become verbally abusive and threatening towards my teenage cousin.
We've also had incident's where residents cars have been vandalised by people passing through the estate to the train station and I don't want her notes causing that grief and damage. You have no idea who she might annoy next.

Husband has said I was daft for discussing, or attempting to discuss, it.

This is the same neighbour who put her bins down the middle of our driveways (joined) because sometimes we used to step on her drive to put the baby in his car seat. Even though she would also step on ours. She also didn't believe that if her bins damaged our cars (a particularly windy few weeks) that she would be liable, given her placement.

WIBU in trying to speak to her or was she just a CF who thinks she can get away with this nonsense because no one tells her she's being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 21:41

To be fair your cousin at 14 would probably do a better job of driving than me Grin

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 21:42

Yes "boot"
Is a sour faced woman of a certain age here.
I like the alternative meaning!

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 21:45

Boot and cunt seem interchangeable here.

I've never heard it used in the way you've described here.
I think I'm more offended at being called an ugly old woman and definitely need to break out the anti-wrinkle guns.

OP posts:
littlepaddypaws · 04/10/2019 21:45

thanks name my education is complete Grin

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 21:48

Lol I'm sure you don't need it! Unless you live very near me I don't think you've got anything to worry about and if you do you can compare yourself to me and look amazing!

BridgetvonHammersmark · 04/10/2019 21:51

YANBU. She had no right, legal or otherwise, to shout at your cousin, your cousin did nothing wrong. And 17 is young, if we deem 17 years old too young to drink or vote then they’re also too young to be verbally abused by an miserable old boot.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 04/10/2019 22:02

Just FYI. The expression 'tits up' refers to something going totally wrong, often a situation, eg it all went tits up in parliament today or sometimes a person, if they've fallen over and therefore upside down.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 04/10/2019 22:04

Actually the second example would be referred to as going 'arse over tit'. I don't think people go tits up at all! As you were 😗

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/10/2019 22:11

It is cheeky and rude to park on an estate when near the train station. The woman wasn’t to know the reason. Next time, I would ensure your cousin parks on your drive and you in that space.

palahvah · 04/10/2019 22:16

You're being unreasonable. She is being unreasonable. If you want to let your cousin park more easily then let her park on your drive.

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 22:24

mummyoflittledragons except she did. The first time she curtain twitched and came storming out my cousin explained that I live there and she had asked if it was okay to use the spaces/didn't need a permit or anything. Neighbour still went on an almighty rampage.

OP posts:
Yestermo · 04/10/2019 22:30

Is your neighbour actually a 47 year old man that happens to be married to me?
In DH's head no one else should be allowed to park outside our house despite the fact it is open parking. If so I apologise for his twattishness.

BloggersBlog · 04/10/2019 22:33

@yestermo Grin

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 22:36

Unless you are actually the 40-something woman who called me a boot and slammed the door then unfortunately not @Yestermo Grin

OP posts:
sweetiepy · 04/10/2019 22:39

I think you are being unfair, even though it is legally okay for people to park in these spaces. What if every resident said to their relatives just to use the spaces when getting the train? There wouldn’t be anywhere for genuine visitors to park!
I don’t think you would be very happy if visiting family or friends couldn’t get parked when they came to visit you!

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 22:51

Outside the front of my house?

OP posts:
madcatsazz · 04/10/2019 22:57

My DM seems to have started this in the last 10 years. I never heard them complain about parking when I was growing up but these days she goes mad if the neighbour parks outside her house. And the neighbours are the same. It's a public road with absolutely no restrictions. In fact, I have caught myself doing the same when people park outside mine despite us having room for a boat, 2 trailers and 2 vehicles including a long wheel base Sprinter in the drive!! 😂. However I still recognise that I am being unreasonable and laugh at myself. I would never dream of shouting at people for parking on a public road. Private estate or not. Life is too short to worry about that shit. OP I do not think YABU. I think your neighbour is going to be a pain though and suggest you tread carefully as you have to live alongside each other and I have heard of horrific tales of neighbour disputes. I don't envy you

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 23:02

This isn't our forever home, thankfully.

She has also acted in a similar way to a neighbour's friend, who was visiting the neighbour, but crazy lady didn't see her leave her car and therefore had no idea where she had been.

OP posts:
GotOffThePlane · 04/10/2019 23:18

It is legal for anyone to park there for any purpose and it doesn’t matter who, why or where they’re going once they’ve parked Confused Can’t believe anyone would defend the woman kicking off. She has her own parking, that’s public parking and a member of the public is using it

Bibijayne · 04/10/2019 23:23

YANBU. it's open parking...

However, YABU for not including a diagram. This post screams for a diagram

FrancisCrawford · 04/10/2019 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 23:46

No they are in the plans etc as additional parking. We pay a factors fee which includes the upkeep of the communal green areas, play areas, roads and so on.

These spaces do not 'belong' to anyone. We pay no additional money, there are no permits, there are no double yellow lines and so on.

People are as entitled to park there legally as they are allowed to walk on the grass we pay upkeep for (no footpaths) or have their children play in the park we pay upkeep for.

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 04/10/2019 23:48

And although we are near a train station there are plenty of other, closer, parking options which means our estate has never been used as an unofficial parking place.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 04/10/2019 23:52

I don't think you should be encouraging anyone to park there either. It's a private road, you and your neighbours are paying for the upkeep.

We also live on a private road and wouldn't tolerate anyone's relatives using it as a car park for the train station.

TheSmallAssassin · 04/10/2019 23:57

Imagine if everyone decided to leave their cars there and commute what if they went on holiday and left it.

A car!? Parked on the road!?

Trust me, the world would keep turning.