Mothers of young sons

[saraclara]

How do you feel when you read the in-law posts on here? How positive do you feel about the role you'll have when your son and DIL have babies?

I didn't give it any thought before I joined MN, but now I'm so relieved that I have daughters.

OP, what was the purpose of your post except to pity us poor mums of sons?

I assumed you were one of us unlucky ones burdened with the horror of bringing up boys? But no you just came to remind us what sad lonely lives we have to look forward to.

Thank you.

I guess I’ve learned that if I’m a bitch to my DIL I can expect to barely see my GDC, because ultimately she’s the gatekeeper. Shame my own MIL didn’t realise that before she was a bitch to me.

It doesn’t worry me too much and I have 2 ds’s.

I have an amazing MIL who I’m learning off (she doesn’t realise she’s teaching me)

My MIL was a nightmare before I joined mumsnet.

I have 2 boys and a girl. I honestly don't know how things will go as I can see some PFB mums be ridiculous both on here and with my NCT work. But, I'll try my best and it's a long time in advance.

My son is gay.......and in an open relationship with his partner.
So that could be interesting.
...

Oh. a SMOG thread! Lovely!
I plan on spending my retirement going around Europe in a campervan so won't have much time for gdc's either way.

I’n not the least bit worried, but that could be because I don’t care if my boys make me a grandma nor if they decide to marry to make me a mil as long as they are happy. If they do make me into a mil and decide to have children, I will do my best to get along with my dil and support her and my sons when necessary. I hope to see her as family and that she sees me the same way.

Not in the least bit worried either. I have no intention of being bossy or interfering. I don’t even want grandchildren. I’ll probably be the MIL my DIL is on here complaining about that I never offer to babysit.

As a mum of a 22 year old DS, I always thought I'd struggle with stepping back from his life (if I'm being totally honest). But I want him to be happy and he's had a gf who sent me a Mother's Day card and present, from herself, not my son. I try my hardest not to interfere, to accept his choices and be a friend, if needed - I want to love my DIL. I want to be a good MIL.

MIL's do get a lot of stick on MN.

I have a dd and a ds.

I'm not worried about being the MIL to my DS's future partner really. I'm pretty laid back and not planning on changing.

My own MIL is a bit odd and frankly bizarre in her opinions but we still have a relationship and all is well. DH will still drop most things and drive 2 hours to visit her if she's in hospital, which of course he should.

I have a son, I also have narcissistic sociopath in-laws (that’s not just mumsnet s suggestion either but several professionals in that field) who I have been estranged from for 8 years.

I don’t worry, I will love and support my son always, I don’t care if he is gay, straight, bisexual, whether his partner is while, black, brown, rich or poor, if they make my son happy, then they will be welcome in our family! If they don’t make him happy, then I will support my ds without being controlling, narcissistic or nasty/ cruel to my dh or his partner. The exact same applies to my dd! I love both of my dc so much and pray that I am still around to see them happily married which dc of their own!

I will say that My in-laws have taught me a lot, in how not to be a MIL and I have my lovely Mum and my Gran (and her amazing relationship with my Mum her DIL) as examples of what makes a lovely MIL

That should read ds or his partner 😂 it would be very, very odd otherwise

I've never given it a thought before now! I suppose I just assume if he's happy, we'll all get on great. May not marry I guess, or may settle and marry a guy. Who knows what the future holds? I just hope he finds happiness and my work here is done.

We have chosen to live with my MIL, and I love her to bits! I'm not worried at all.

I'm not worried. I have a fab MIL who is close to all her children and their partners. I'm taking notes, I have 3 sons. I'm closer to her than my own mother.

Actually, I'm more worried about my adult relationship with my daughter and her future partner, because she is a lot like me personality wise...

In all honesty I think MN can be over dramatised IMHO.
I hope my son and my future DIL/SIL will get on well and I'd like to think he would come to me for advice if he needed too.
Also, I hope he stays a mummy's boy 😂

Well my son is 22 so not young but it made me really sad to think for no other reason than she could, a daughter- in-law wouldn't let me see a grandchild after birth but her mother would be welcomed with open arms. My son isn't married or expecting a child but still makes me sad.

Depends on who you are surely? My DP is the only son and while his parents are very different to me they are accepting of me and happy to have me around. This I make an effort

I will also encourage my dd to have a good relationship with her MIL if she chooses to marry and have children. That's where mothers of daughters can help, I have one of each spill see it from all sides.

I love my MIL. She wasn't always easy...she was definitely over zealous at first. But over the years we grew to know and understand one another better.

Now she's like family to me.

Doesn't fuss me, as long as DS and DSS are happy that is my main concern, both might pick partners who for whatever reason I dont rub along with.

I will still always be polite, welcome them and not interfere, I am having my chance at my life with a child at the moment and at times I am really looking forward to a time when he is not talking at me about fucking minecraft

Never given it a thought until now! I assume that if I’m nice and respectful and welcoming to any future DIL she’ll most likely behave in the same way. Just like all other relationships in life really.

I don’t think MN is representative of real life, either.

Well my son is 22 so not young but it made me really sad to think for no other reason than she could, a daughter- in-law wouldn't let me see a grandchild after birth but her mother would be welcomed with open arms. My son isn't married or expecting a child but still makes me sad.*

Do you think that rather that just ‘because she can’, the reason might be that she’s pushed a baby out of her vagina or had it surgically extracted from her abdomen and therefore wants to see only her immediate family?

I have a son. I also remember how my body felt in the couple of weeks after giving birth to him and why I didn’t want to see people who weren’t my immediate family.

Meh, I didn't find OP's post goady but then I didn't want DDs if I'm completely honest. It's still a man's world out there and women have it a lot harder. My own life seems to have mirrored my mother's life (single parents, low incomes) and it's not fun.

I don't give it a though I have 2 ds both very young, but I get in fine with my mil. As long as you're a decent human that shows kindness and. Compassions I'd hope to get in great with a dil or sil