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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work should do something or am I being a brat?

138 replies

LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:10

We had a new seating plan and my friend was moved away from me despite reassurances that she wouldn’t be (we work well and do not distract each other).

I’m now sat barely near anyone else in my team and feel very excluded.

I’m going through things outside of work and I have bad depression and anxiety at times. I come into work now and dread it.

I honestly get work is not a social event and I do work hard and hit my expected targets.

I know it sounds pathetic but it’s starting to get to me mentally and my manager couldn’t care less despite there being a big push at work regarding mental health awareness.

OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 04/10/2019 17:13

Do you work in a call centre? They used to do this to us all the time its to stop anyone getting too comfortable they like to keep you on your toes.

Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:15

No I don’t work in a call centre.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForACaramel · 04/10/2019 17:16

Sorry but a staff member saying “not sitting next to my friend is damaging my mental health” is ridiculous.

lastqueenofscotland · 04/10/2019 17:17

Honestly you sound ether very immature or a bit of a drip.

anyoneseenmykeys · 04/10/2019 17:19

I actually feel very sorry for your manager who has to deal with that - but it sounds like the move was a really good idea to stop the "sit next to my friend nonsense".

It's work.. get on with your tasks, and the day will go so much quicker!

dramaqueen · 04/10/2019 17:20

You never know your friend may have asked for a move away. In the kindest way you need to find a way to cope without being next to her.

Topseyt · 04/10/2019 17:21

I think it sounds childish. I can't think of any way you could couch it that doesn't, to be honest.

Idontneeditatall · 04/10/2019 17:21

I disagree with pp op! Unless there’s a problem or a genuine reason to move people around, I think it’s motivating and engaging for people to sit near others that they get on well with. Moving people for the sake of it is bad for morale.

Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:21

You never know your friend may have asked for a move away. In the kindest way you need to find a way to cope without being next to her.

No she didn’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:22

I think it sounds childish. I can't think of any way you could couch it that doesn't, to be honest.

Huh?

OP posts:
CrystalShark · 04/10/2019 17:22

Are you being serious? You’re at work, you’re there to do your job, not to enjoy sitting next to your friend lol. Guarantee if you bring it up to your boss they’ll think you’re trying to play the mental health card to get what you want and think badly of you.

Biancadelrioisback · 04/10/2019 17:24

Are all your team together now and youre alone?
When I was an events manager I would try and put friends on shifts together (providing it didn't take hours or opportunities away from other people) as I found they worked better together. As soon as they were silly, wasting time or bunking off, that stopped and I'd separate them. They all knew this too so they saw the benefit of working well together and getting things done over messing around.

That being said, a business is there to make money, not for you to spend time with your friends. I'm sure you can still see each other on tea breaks/lunch etc?

Memsnutter · 04/10/2019 17:25

I knew you’d get piled in on. Some folks on Mumsnet seem to think work should be as miserable as possible. I assume none of them ever collaborate or bounce ideas off their colleagues!
I’d have no qualms raising my working environment. I may not phrase it in terms of sitting next to my friend but isolation is no joke.
Only you know your workplace though and what will be accepted as reasonable.
We spend a significant chunk of time at work. Why shouldn’t we aim to make it as pleasant as we can?

Gruntvsgunt · 04/10/2019 17:25

Yeah you are being a brat. It’s a work place, work by the rules end of.

Pukkatea · 04/10/2019 17:25

Do you have breaks/lunches where you can interact with others? Leaving aside 'sitting next to your friend' which is not something you can really raise, it's not nice to be away from everyone and not feel part of the atmosphere, can make days seem very lonely and dreary. If you can get away for communal tea breaks, lunch, after work etc take full advantage and it might help.

RatherBeRiding · 04/10/2019 17:26

Do the other members of your team work near each other? Is it necessary to work near each other? If the answer to the above is Yes then you could have a point.

If not, then honestly you just need to concentrate on your job. You are being paid to do a particular job and if your seating plan has no impact on that then I very much doubt management will give a damn.

Samosaurus · 04/10/2019 17:26

I’m guessing you manager did this on purpose - do you and your friend chat a lot? Maybe more than you realise? I’m sorry you are feeling down about this, but I’m not sure you not sitting with your friend can be couched in terms of your work not fulfilling their ‘big push’ about mental health.

Asmoto · 04/10/2019 17:26

It's difficult when you manage a team and your allocation of desks includes one or two that are isolated from the others. You feel guilty about putting anyone there - the people you choose are normally those you see as mature enough to deal with it, so this could be a compliment.

Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:27

Are you being serious? You’re at work, you’re there to do your job, not to enjoy sitting next to your friend lol.

Yes I am being serious - hence the post.

My old manager did a specific seating plan before as said the work we do can get quite repetitive, tiring etc ... so it’s sometimes nice to have those quick 5 minutes of a chat and then focus.

It’s also not the fact that I’m not next to my friend. It’s more the fact that I’ve been moved away from my entire team. Yet the person who has mouse complaints made against them is sat in the middle distracting everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:29

I’m guessing you manager did this on purpose - do you and your friend chat a lot? Maybe more than you realise?

No I wouldn’t say so as we both do the expected work allocation and it’s never once been discussed that we talk too much.

We definitely do not talk more than other people in the team.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 04/10/2019 17:30

I'm sorry, I don't get it

Ultimately in a workplace you sit where you're told to

I have depression and anxiety too - never disclose to work - and I don't think that relates to where you sit unless you have been given a really bad space. Why does it matter with whom you sit? They need to make sure of safety and comfort etc but not the people you sit with.

flumposie · 04/10/2019 17:30

I'm waiting for you to reveal that this really happened to your child at school but you were writing as an adult to show how unfair it is !!! If not you sound immature , just like a pupil moaning about seating plans.

Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:30

It’s just difficult ... I find it hard to sleep and do much outside of work due to depression etc

It’s hard to come in and feel so isolated and sat away from a team that really get on.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 04/10/2019 17:32

"It’s just difficult ... I find it hard to sleep and do much outside of work due to depression etc"

Same here, but that's not going to factor in to anything they do.

TheCanterburyWhales · 04/10/2019 17:32

This has to be a wind up.
You think it's nice to sit and chat for a while?
Well don't we all.
Just not at work

If this is the real context, then please don't say anything. If your friend has been moved it's probably precisely because of those nice chats.

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