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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work should do something or am I being a brat?

138 replies

LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:10

We had a new seating plan and my friend was moved away from me despite reassurances that she wouldn’t be (we work well and do not distract each other).

I’m now sat barely near anyone else in my team and feel very excluded.

I’m going through things outside of work and I have bad depression and anxiety at times. I come into work now and dread it.

I honestly get work is not a social event and I do work hard and hit my expected targets.

I know it sounds pathetic but it’s starting to get to me mentally and my manager couldn’t care less despite there being a big push at work regarding mental health awareness.

OP posts:
Nonstopbuttmachine · 04/10/2019 17:33

Is your name Colin Robinson?

anyoneseenmykeys · 04/10/2019 17:34

ome folks on Mumsnet seem to think work should be as miserable as possible. I assume none of them ever collaborate or bounce ideas off their colleagues!

and that's exactly why I move my team around regularly, keeping a dynamic in the team works wonder and you can see that some arrangements work surprisingly better.

Nothing work than a company where Doris has been there for 15 years, sat on the same chair thinking she knows everything.

coconuttelegraph · 04/10/2019 17:34

What kind of job is it? I've not come across a job with a seating plan so can't decide if you are BU or not without more information.

Yet the person who has mouse complaints made against them is sat in the middle distracting everyone

Also odd, why are people making complaints?

Hahaha88 · 04/10/2019 17:34

If you're away from the rest of your team that does seem off. But honestly you aren't there to socialise but to work

anyoneseenmykeys · 04/10/2019 17:34

*worst

NoSauce · 04/10/2019 17:34

Sounds like the seating plan was done deliberately.

Marvinmarvinson · 04/10/2019 17:36

I think if you're isolated from your team that's a definite problem worth raising. But not being able to sit by a specific person is just something you need to get on with really. I do understand it's important to create a pleasant working environment as far as possible, but I also think it's important for people to try and build a bit of resilience and not sweat the small stuff.

Ginger1982 · 04/10/2019 17:36

Can you draw us a wee diagram?

Samosaurus · 04/10/2019 17:37

Was someone else in the more isolated position before? Maybe it’s just your turn?

anyoneseenmykeys · 04/10/2019 17:37

think if you're isolated from your team that's a definite problem worth raising.

to be fair, it could mean anything. It's also possible that the manager from another team told your boss there's no way in hell they would want x colleague next to their team so that's why you are the one there. That happens to.

Original poster
LookingForAlaskas · 04/10/2019 17:38

I do get I’m taking it more personally because of my situation ...it’s just the isolation more than being apart from my friend I guess.

OP posts:
Pringlemunchers · 04/10/2019 17:39

I think, maybe work on your own mental health,see the doctor etc. Yes it's nice to sit with who you want, BUT life / work isn't always like that. Arrange to see your friend outside of work and met up at breaks , of that's what you need, but honestly if I was your boss and your said that to me,I would give you a leaflet with help phone numbers , but not reconsider, otherwise people will be requesting to change desks willy nilly.

Mummybares · 04/10/2019 17:40

I really feel for you but OP, your colleague(s) is not your human pacifier dummy. You need to some coping skills and get some mental health help.

I agree, it's ridiculous to complain about seating!

Cloudyyy · 04/10/2019 17:41

This is incredibly immature. Please don’t embarrass yourself by bringing this up at work. Try to be professional and remember work is just about work. Balance your life by having social time outside of work hours.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 04/10/2019 17:44

I think it is perfectly reasonable to request that you sit with your team, but not that you sit with your friend.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 04/10/2019 17:44

Can you not meet your friend at break?

If you need to chat or take a break then you're best to move away from your desk anyway.

HobbyIsCodeForDogging · 04/10/2019 17:44

I'm always amazed that adults are bothered about petty shit like this.

callmeadoctor · 04/10/2019 17:45

I guess that you are still in school..................................

EmilyStar · 04/10/2019 17:46

I can sympathise with your position - I’ve also been in the position where my allocated desk is away from the rest of my team. It can be a bit lonely, even at the best of times, and also inconvenient if you need to communicate with your team about work related stuff.

But.

If you want to convince your manager to get you a desk closer to your friend, or closer to the team generally, you’re going to have to come up with a work related argument. Such as , you work closely with x and it’s often necessary to consult each other about work related stuff.

If you’re coming at it from the angle of wanting to sit next to your friend because you can have nice chats to cheer you up, then your manager may assume that you’re going to be focusing on socialising rather than work.

And in the meantime, as pp have suggested, meeting your friend for lunch or tea breaks may help a bit?

Mamasaurus82 · 04/10/2019 17:49

I think workplaces should be pleasant and comfortable and it's a shame that you've been moved away from colleagues you worked well with and are friends with, but i wouldn't say anything. It is true that it's good to keep things fresh and keep changing. A healthy working environment should have opportunities to work collaboratively, which may involve some chatting/ getting to know others around you. People on here need to realise that an office/ workplace can be friendly AND productive!Shock

iklboo · 04/10/2019 17:50

What would you do if your friend left or moved to another department?

Loveoddthings · 04/10/2019 17:51

Bingo!!

team. Yet the person who has mouse complaints made against them is sat in the middle distracting everyone.

Drip. Drip.

There’s been a complaint.

NoneButOurselves · 04/10/2019 17:52

Wow, I'm amazed at people piling into the OP and deriding her concerns. Especially if the work she does is repetitive. A huge part of enjoying or at least not disliking work are the social relations there. This doesn't make one unprofessional, lazy or immature. Humans are social creatures and a sense of friendliness around one can make a huge difference. Why is this even controversial ?

midnightmisssuki · 04/10/2019 17:54

Is the company doing agile working? And - your manager moved you away from your whole team, as in your team are sitting together, and you're not part of that?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/10/2019 17:55

Unless it's one of those places where folk are moved regularly, surely the very obvious first step is to ask why the move's been done in this way?

You may or may not like the answer, but at least then you'll have a better understanding of what's going on