To think work should do something or am I being a brat?

[LookingForAlaskas]

We had a new seating plan and my friend was moved away from me despite reassurances that she wouldn’t be (we work well and do not distract each other).

I’m now sat barely near anyone else in my team and feel very excluded.

I’m going through things outside of work and I have bad depression and anxiety at times. I come into work now and dread it.

I honestly get work is not a social event and I do work hard and hit my expected targets.

I know it sounds pathetic but it’s starting to get to me mentally and my manager couldn’t care less despite there being a big push at work regarding mental health awareness.

there was an interesting thing that happened in the factories in ww2 in the UK. The assumption was that there should be no interaction or radio music to increase production they actual found that it decreased work production. I would suggest that the same thing is being tested again in these changes - it is depressing to be isolated & not a member of your team & strangely being isolated & not talking (I worked for a short while in a factory where bonuses were paid on production & we did talk whilst assembling (repetitive) small boring objects & it didn't decrease production.

OP I think you can say that you feel isolated sat away from your team.

I see what you mean, OP. In secondary school they sat us in alphabetical order so my friends were half a classroom away and I was sat on my own next to someone in league with my bullies. It did suck.

Have you tried chatting to the people you're next to now?

If you keep having to get up to go ask a teammate a question or hand them something, then it’s a problem.

Otherwise, I just don’t see why it matters.

It's a tough one!

My knee jerk reaction is that you're at work and need to just suck it up. However, if there's no good reason why you can't sit next to them and doing so helps your productivity, then why not.

YANBU. It’s more productive for teams to be kept together. Maybe not next to a specific friend, but it’s bad practice to split the team up.

A quick chat... hmmm. As my old line manager used to say, “when one of you is talking, it costs us £20/hour, when both of you are talking, it costs us £40/hour”.

Will being away from your team be inconvenient and impact your work? How far away are you front the rest of your team and how often do you catch up with them to discuss work? I think if it is making your work more difficult then you have a good point and you should let them know. Do you have Skype and etc so you can still chat and share screens?

I think if you put have diagnosed mental health problems then you are entitled to reasonable adaptation and that could include being seated where you don’t feel isolated.
Do you have HR and occupied health? Ask for their support.
Speak to your manager about how it makes you feel.
Happy people work harder and better.

If you are the only member of your team who isn’t sitting together then that is a legitimate thing to raise with your manager - why and how has that happened?

But you can’t say “I liked sitting by my friend and now I’m sad”.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if your output decreased as a result of this. Having stimulus at work beyond your task or computer screen is really important.

Sorry, my post sounded really snotty. It was a genuine question - similar happened to me that my close friend left and joined another team. I made a big effort to get to know the others and so have a wider circle of people and support now.

Our work reorganise desks when there are people together who are either too chatty and waste time, are cliquey and impact rest of team with their exclusive chat, talk negatively impacting the test of the team, or someone else in the team has complained.

One or more of the above is likely. Complaining you are not next to your friend will get you nowhere when the have purposely split you up.

I’m sorry you’re struggling. You really need other coping mechanisms. Your friend shouldn’t be how you get through your day. That puts far too much (likely unintentional) pressure on her

I do feel sorry for how you're feeling, Looking for. There isn't much you can do about and all I can say is I hope things improve. I'm sure it isn't personal but it wouldn't hurt to ask your manager why the move took place.

Looking for another job - new challenge and all that - is an option but maybe not a good idea at the moment because of your depression. Only you can judge that. A new job could be overwhelming. That was just a suggestion.

Fuck me, this sounds like school. And in the school where I work you’d be given a warning if you moaned and a day in the Learning Centre if you moaned again.

As for a PP saying ‘having stimulus at work beyond your task or computer screen’ is clearly in a cushy job. Plenty of jobs you go in, get on with it, get out because there’s no time for anything else, certainly not ‘socialising’.

Also, what’s a “mouse complaint”?

are you sitting in isolation with all your team seated elsewhere?
I can see why wouldn’t be happy with that and know other that wouldn’t cope. If the answer is yes then go on that rather than being away from your friend.
They may offer to switch you back and your friend to the isolation, how would you feel about that

What’s the point of being in a team if you’re not co-located?
If you keep having to get up to go ask a teammate a question or hand them something, then it’s a problem

Isn’t that literally what teams do? Work together? I’m really confused about how other people work now. Maybe it’s because I work in IT, but I can’t imagine why anybody wouldn’t expect teams to be sitting together so they can collaborate.

Also, what’s a “mouse complaint”?
I think most people could deduce it as most! Don’t be a plonker

I think they've moved you for a reason.

I don’t think you’re being a brat about the isolation point op but I think focusing on wanting to sit by a friend isn’t the way to resolve it. I work in an agile environment, a number of teams working in a fluid area. We recently moved to a space where all our teams would be in the same bit after 6mths of my team being in a different area to the rest. That 6mths was very isolating for all of us as a group & in addition varied shifts meant some days I was completely alone. It isn’t a nice feeling or environment & it does affect you regardless of those out there who say you’re just there to work. A collaborative & community environment is the goal where I work & our management team seeing the impact it was having managed to get our moved completed 4mths early. We are all happier because of it.

YANBU.

@LookingForAlaskas

Hmmmm, tricky one. I know it's nice/good to be near a colleague (who you get on with) at work. Word can be boring/repetitive and a bit shit sometimes, and it can be made much better if you are with someone you like.

On the other hand, if you have been split up, it does suggest either your friend asked for the move (maybe you are distracting her even though you may think not.) OR, someone has complained about the 2 of you chatting. The employer is unlikely to move you for no reason, to be honest.

Saying it's affecting your mental health by being moved away from you mate is going to make you sound very childish sorry.

Can you ask why you have been moved, and say you prefer being near your friend?

I know some posters are saying you are petty/childish/ridiculous etc etc, but I get you. It's horrible when you are comfortable and happy with a colleague you like, and you get moved. So I do feel for you.

Just ask at work next week why you've been moved. If it IS because they feel you chatter too much, then ask if you can move back, and promise to knuckle down more and chat less. (My best guess is that you DO chat more than you think... maybe? ) As a few posters have said, just tell them you feel isolated.