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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about this man in the women's loos?

155 replies

FairfaxAikman · 04/10/2019 15:17

In the supermarket and had to nip to the loo with toddler DS in tow.
After finishing up in the cubicle I open up the door to come fact to face with a male member of staff.
I'm aware they need to clean the loos, but AIBU to think he should have announced himself before entering so it wasn't such a shock or people could object?
No sign on the main door either (as I've seen elsewhere) so women entering would be unaware.
Should I mention it to customer services?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 04/10/2019 15:20

Yabu

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 04/10/2019 15:21

Meh, I might be taken aback to see a male cleaner in the loos for a second as I did a double take on coming out of the cubicle, but couldn't get myself worked up about it personally.
It's not like he's trying to get in the cubicle with me.
Then I'd have a problem

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 04/10/2019 15:23

He was there doing his job. He wasn't peeping at you through a gap or trying to climb into the cubicle with you Hmm

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 04/10/2019 15:25

Doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with a (unexpected) male presence in a female space, Ted.

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 04/10/2019 15:27

Was he peeping under the door?. Be respectful he was cleaning - they all do a great job imo.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 04/10/2019 15:28

Doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with a (unexpected) male presence in a female space, Ted

No of course not, you're entitled to your opinion and feelings, but tbf you did ask for opinions and you're getting them... Smile

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 04/10/2019 15:28

You're right, you don't. But it doesn't warrant a complaint for someone just simply doing their job.

Maybe I'm in a minority but I can't see the difference between a female staff member or a male staff member cleaning the loos.

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 04/10/2019 15:30

I should clarify, it's not his presence I'm objecting but the fact there was no damn warning.
Complain is maybe the wrong word - how about "should I ask customer service to ask him to announce his entry to the female loos in future?"

OP posts:
DoctorAllcome · 04/10/2019 15:30

Meh. Not bothered. If he was not a staff member, that’s different.
Back in the day when they had no diaper change stations in the men’s toilets, I’d see fathers coming in with babies and it was fine.

Kaykay06 · 04/10/2019 15:31

There is usually a sign up isn’t there?
You could ask that they do so but I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid tbh

NameChangeNugget · 04/10/2019 15:32

Sounds like a bit of fuss about nothing

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 04/10/2019 15:32

If it generally did make you feel that uncomfortable then sure, mention something to customer services again perhaps putting a sign up or making an announcement upon entering. But I certainly wouldn't make a complaint.

TheQueef · 04/10/2019 15:32

Happy for him to lose his job?
Absolutely certain he didn't call out, you couldn't have not heard him?
Hmm

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 04/10/2019 15:36

Queef small 4 cubicle toilet. He definitely didn't call out

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/10/2019 15:37

There's always a sign up saying that both toilet areas might be cleaned by male or female staff. That's been 'bog standard' practice for years now!

Goatrider · 04/10/2019 15:37

What would you have done differently if he has announced his entrance?

PawPawNoodle · 04/10/2019 15:38

I'm assuming that neither of you were walking around with your genitals out, so what is it that made you uncomfortable?

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 04/10/2019 15:40

@PolPotNoodle 😂

Personally I'd rather a male clean the toilets than have to hover over a shitty seat & drip dry because the paper hasn't been restocked all day because there was no female available to attend.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 04/10/2019 15:41

I'd expect a sign. At least you expect men to be in the toilets when you're forewarned and can make your own judgement about whether you want to use the facilities.

'Complain' is probably too strong, but I'd mention that it would be helpful to have a sign notifying customers that staff of the opposite sex clean the loos so someone that is vulnerable/uncomfortable isn't put into a difficult situation.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 04/10/2019 15:42

YABU.

bigbluebus · 04/10/2019 15:42

You might just want to mention to customer services that their sign advising that male cleaning staff are employed to clean the ladies appears to be missing and perhaps they could arrange for a new one to be put up. But I can't see what difference it would have made - you either needed to use the loo or you didn't so what would you have done if there had been a sign?

RightOnTheEdge · 04/10/2019 15:44

Well usually there is a sign.
Our toilets are checked by male and female staff. We usually call out "toilet check" as we go in.

Shoxfordian · 04/10/2019 15:47

Was there no sign? You're being a bit ridiculous

Frazzledbutcalm · 04/10/2019 15:48

Yore being ridiculous OP. Grow up.

IsobelRae23 · 04/10/2019 15:48

Wouldn’t bother me. He’s doing his job. Just because he has a penis doesn’t means he’s interested in my bits!!

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